To think they are ‘𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘩’

[HansBanan]

Okay, I know it's subjective but I'm some what bored of my in-laws down playing this.
My SIL is 28, well educated, 2 children, lives in London. She's married, husband is about 40, a little older maybe, a high earner (250k ish - chief investment officer for a wealth management company).
They are mortgage free, in a large beautiful house (I'm not sure of the logistics of how this is the case but know they are). 1 car, owned outright. They have credit cards but I'm sure they pay them off monthly and mainly use them for the benefits and rewards.
Their children are young so not school age yet, but it's very clearly they sill be privately educated. I'm not sure how much the bonus her husband receives would be but let's assume it's anywhere between 25k - 125k depending on the firm.
They holiday several times a year, almost always business class.

AIBU to think that is ‘𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘩’? My in-laws are all insisting that in London this is just comfortable but I don't buy it! Especially not with their mortgage free home!
I know it's not my business but it irks me

@HansBanan
They don't have a clue do they.
You just need to keep to the facts
The average wage in London is about £45k.
SIL and her DH earn more than 5 times that. They are also mortgage free which most people aren't in their 20s or 40s.
That's why we and the majority of other people don't buy their DC any designer goods.
Rinse and repeat.

Yes, it's rich in my book.

Technically they'd probably be HNWIs - high net worth individuals.

The Abamovich's of this world are UHNWIs - the U standing for Ultra.

But really, anyone who doesn't have to worry too much is rich. We live on a modest income (around £50K between us) but have no mortgage and Have grown up kids. I've never felt richer.

Whether they are rich depends on what other assets they have. Large pension funds, investments, other property etc.

They sound comfortable to me, not rich.

Also you just sound jealous.

I wouldn't say they're rich, but they're definitely well off.

Easily in the top 1% of income worldwide and no mortgage?

Of course they are rich.

His bonuses are much more than that, although it will depend on how well they do year on year. A £25k bonus is nothing in his position.

its easy. Tell the in laws to go and do one....or have your husband do it.

That’s not rich, it’s well off.

I get what you’re saying but based on just his income (excluding bonuses) he’s in the top 5% of household income. His annual bonuses are likely to be multiples of the average salary. It’s disingenuous and rather insulting to pretend that you’re just about managing and not in a very privileged position.

I get that outgoings may be high but that is a choice. That’s what that money has bought - freedom of choice. They can choose to send their kids to private school, to holiday wherever etc etc. I’m also sure he works incredibly hard and earns that salary - as do millions of others who are on far far less.

If you’re in that kind of bracket, sure don’t brag about it but let’s not pretend that that income is anything less than exceptional (when compared to the UK as a whole).

I don’t think you’re rich unless you could just stop working and not have your quality of life severely impacted.

Rich means generational wealth. Either that or as the PP says, multimillionaire. It does not mean top 10% of earners.

I wouldn't call them rich. Comfortable, yes.

Nobody said 'just about managing' though. They said 'comfortable'. It isn't about how hard someone works, nobody was making value judgements except the (infuriating) parents in law. We can pot-ay-toh pot-ah-toh this all day long, I suppose, but I do think that 'rich' implies a certain grandness of scale that isn't quite present with these people.

Yes they’re very well off/rich! So annoying with the false modesty, my ex FIL once claimed they were “getting by” at a family meal,business owner, joint salary of over £150k about 20 year ago, mortgage free, investment properties etc in midlands. Made me so fucking mad that I called it out and said he needed a reality check and he didn’t have a clue what it meant to be getting by. Utterly ridiculous.

Just keep saying 'I don't want to discuss money' with your IL's.

If someone told me to buy a £500 dress for my child, I would literally laugh at them.

Have confidence in yourself, bat away any remarks (or get your husband to have a word with his parents) and live your life. Ignore!

The house was a gift? So they didn’t have a mortgage and pay it off. Yes, I’d say having c10k pm spending money qualifies as well off.
But you’re bigger issue is asking what your family get out of making you feel bad in comparison? Because I suspect they know very well you aren’t in the same league.

250k + probably another 100k in bonuses a year + owning property which is worth likely 1-2 million makes someone just 'comfortable'? Nah. They are absolutely loaded by any sensible yardstick.

Stinking if you ask me lol! Way more than comfortable! Having said that anyone can see them selves as ‘just about managing’ if they have high expectations and spend to the limits. If they perceive several business class holidays, designer clothes and private schooling as ‘essential’ to their lifestyle and happiness and that doesn’t leave anything at the end of the month then that will be their perception and what they tell others. I live in herts (just outside London) one wage of 36k one of 11k, 2 kids, 2 cars and a mortgage and I think we are comfortable. We have a roof, food and clothing. We are warm and can pay bills without debt. We haven’t had a holiday since 2017 but that isn’t essential, I am grateful for our health and lack of debt

I'd say well-off but not rich.
To me rich is multi-millionaire lifestyle, can choose to work or be retired.

You do sound jealous though.

If they could afford that lifestyle without working another day in their lives, they'd be rich.

I'd consider them to be very well off - not rich and certainly not wealthy.

does you SIL work too? or the joint income just his salary: 250K+bonus? if they are mortgage free and your SIL is SAHM (so no childcare cost) they have no expenses (except food and hols) and can splash out, so technically yes they are quite well off. however if their kids start private school this will be a massive expense and will eat a massive chunk of their salary, so they wont be able to save a lot. How much does their house worth and do they live in comfortable area or do they need to move up the ladder subsequently?

many jobs in e.g., London city pays well (you dont need to be a chief of something), investment banking, finance and IT and there are many families that live on these sort of joint income. which part of the country do they live? e.g., London is v expensive and 250K joint income with 2-3 kids educated privately is not as much as it sounds.

Yes, I think his bonus could be well in excess of your estimates, OP. If the firm is doing well it could be seven figures. Plus share options or similar.

Very well off

To me rich is having enough money that you can maintain a very well off lifestyle without having to work. Doesn’t sound like that’s the case here, which means a change in circumstance could change their lifestyle, although they likely have enough investments and insurance they’d always be pretty well off.

Why does it matter? Due to a mix of good luck and hard work my brother is rich…. Very rich… doesn’t change him one bit. Stilll the irritating bollox I grew up with and still one of my favourite people to have a pint with 😂

I'm not sure why the label matters, they sound bloody wealthy to me. Are you "irked" by the different definition of comfortable/wealthy or by the frequent references to it? I suggest just shutting down all comparisons or discussion, perhaps a reminder that talking about money is "rather vulgar, regardless of how much you have". Your income and how you spend it is private to your family and nobody else's concern.