To think they are ‘𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘩’

[HansBanan]

Okay, I know it's subjective but I'm some what bored of my in-laws down playing this.
My SIL is 28, well educated, 2 children, lives in London. She's married, husband is about 40, a little older maybe, a high earner (250k ish - chief investment officer for a wealth management company).
They are mortgage free, in a large beautiful house (I'm not sure of the logistics of how this is the case but know they are). 1 car, owned outright. They have credit cards but I'm sure they pay them off monthly and mainly use them for the benefits and rewards.
Their children are young so not school age yet, but it's very clearly they sill be privately educated. I'm not sure how much the bonus her husband receives would be but let's assume it's anywhere between 25k - 125k depending on the firm.
They holiday several times a year, almost always business class.

AIBU to think that is ‘𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘩’? My in-laws are all insisting that in London this is just comfortable but I don't buy it! Especially not with their mortgage free home!
I know it's not my business but it irks me

H

Not bothered whether your SIL is rich or not but your PIL sound like they need to butt out with their opinions about what you are or aren’t doing..

Rich means having a great deal of money and/or assets.

Going by OP their house is worth ~5 million and they have an income of 500k+.

I'm sorry , but there is no way in hell that cannot be described as rich.

Comfortable is not having to worry day to day about keeping food on the table and the heating on. These people are way, way beyond that. I'm comfortable with an income about 10x less than that and a decent amount of my mortgage to pay off.

So in MN world rich is now a word that should be used only for those with 35 million, who travel first class and who don't work for someone else (like say what now - half of the new multi-millionaires in my city work for/worked for Moderna). And everyone else even if they earn in the top 1% and own their own house outright is "comfortable". I suppose it is a case of "when I use a word it means exactly what I want it to mean - neither more nor less."

Sometimes MN seems like light-years away from real life and this is one of them.

I think you are sounding a bit obsessed and jealous, why are you talking about their kids junior isa's now?
Speak to your husband/in laws & get them to stop with the comparisons

haha this thread is hysterical with what some people consider rich!! You are only rich if you have £35m +

oh crap i only have £30m so that only makes me comfortable 🤣🤣

I would call that very well off. Rich is those worth 50 million or so. But this is all semantics.

You just need to close down the conversation and point out the differences in income that makes it impossible for you to do similar. And keep repeating.

It Is actually ridiculous that your ILs can’t see the difference in salary and lifestyle which is plain to see. Her husband no doubt has a hugely stressful time earning that money in that marketplace, but it’s a niche ish market that pays handsomely to those that fit that world. It’s also a very small percentage of people that can or do do that role. You have another role that’s equally as valuable but it just doesn’t pay the same. That’s life.

I would be explaining that to those commenting on the differences.

Being 'rich' is subjective. We are all better off than some and worse off than others, it depends on our circumstances and with whom you mix. I doubt sister-in-law gives it much thought, it's what she is used to. Hopefully she is a decent person which is what matters and doesn't just the success of others on their income or possessions.

It should not irk you, you forge your own path, op, and if you are happy, that is success. Don't waste your precious time makin comparisons. There are great levellers that everyone experiences: illness and grief.

That isn't 'a great deal of money or assets'. It is substantial but not mind blowing and not enough that they could stop working tomorrow and still have the same lifestyle.

Couldn’t agree more.

Oh come on now of course it is! They have a mortgage free house worth £5m and investments. You’re making it sound like they’re one month’s salary away from destitution.

Yep - rich! London is ludicrously expensive if you rent or have a mortgage - if not then it's not much more expensive to live there than anywhere else. Cars, holidays, schools (I assume) are all the same price anywhere.

But I imagine most people don't label themselves as 'rich' though? Not sure how the conversation has come up in the past but who is going to say 'oh yes we are rich' or 'oh yes DDs family are loaded'. It's normal to downplay wealth, and would be tactless and inappropriate really to say anything else.

You and you family/friends might say in your own company - 'Cor, SILs family are off to the Seychelles, they're really well off, they can afford it' - or similar - but her family wouldn't and I don't know why you'd expect them to?

"Rich" is vague and comparative.

You can certainly say "richer than me" but if you want an accurate and unarguable way to describe it (this will annoy them, which may be an advantage) you can look up the wealth decile tables and describe them as being "in the wealthiest 3% in the country" or whatever it is.

Remember that a significant proportion of wealth is in property and in pension funds. It's not just income, savings and investments.

I would say well off rather than rich

Lived in London all my life. The majority of people I know earn less than £30,000 a year, just a few over £40,000. The few I know who own homes outright do so because their parents bought them cheap in the 70s or 80s.

The income and circumstances you describe are insanely super-rich.

I'd call myself very comfortable: single parent, social housing, income topped up with some benefits. I consider myself to live in luxury compared to my childhood and compared to most people on the planet as well as many people in the UK today: we can afford heating etc., a good diet, a holiday once a year, outings (theatre, seaside etc.) and DC want for nothing. I do wish we could afford private school, but we're a highly educated family so I hope DC will be fine with what the vast majority manage fine with!

Being mortgage free definitely and owning a car outright definitely doesn't equate to being rich!

I do think the couple OP describe are definitely beyond comfortable and pretty much in the rich camp, but that's taking into account all the factors she mentioned.

Illness and grief are far, far easier to cope with if you don't end up homeless and your children taken into care as a result, actually.

Ffs - stop looking at how much their house costs or how much the creep could potentially earn - it’s weird.

They are well off yes. Are they private jet rich? No.

THIS.

The definition of a High Net Worth Individual (HNWI), according to the UK's Financial Conduct Authority (FCA), is someone who either earns more than £300,000 per annum or has net assets of more than £3,000,000.

How the fuck are HNWI's now just 'comfortable' ???

Re the London pricing thing, isn't it much cheaper living here than in most areas of Britain, housing aside, because we have excellent and generally affordable public transport, lots of access to affordable, healthy food, a lot of decent council provision (very cheap leisure facilities, youth activities, etc.), constant free cultural events and relatively accessible, decent healthcare in walking distance of most homes?

You’re being belittled on purpose. Arguing that they’re rich won’t change what is happening.

@HansBanan

The problem isn't your BiL and SiL, they're simply living their lives. I'm sure they don't live their lifestyle to spite you. Your problem is your PiL. So don't resent or 'hate' B & SiL because your PiL are ignorant and rude.

Next time your PiL bring up "Why don't you do/have X because B/SiL are" just tell them you're sick of being compared to them and if they bring similar up again you'll have to re-think the amount of time you spend with them. Then carry through!

Richer than me, anyway!

Why are you so interested in their finances and what they do with their money? I think that's quite sad. Why are you even discussing this with your PIL? Wierd 😳

Yes they are well off but not compared to David Beckham.
Does it even matter.