To think they are ‘𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘩’

[HansBanan]

Okay, I know it's subjective but I'm some what bored of my in-laws down playing this.
My SIL is 28, well educated, 2 children, lives in London. She's married, husband is about 40, a little older maybe, a high earner (250k ish - chief investment officer for a wealth management company).
They are mortgage free, in a large beautiful house (I'm not sure of the logistics of how this is the case but know they are). 1 car, owned outright. They have credit cards but I'm sure they pay them off monthly and mainly use them for the benefits and rewards.
Their children are young so not school age yet, but it's very clearly they sill be privately educated. I'm not sure how much the bonus her husband receives would be but let's assume it's anywhere between 25k - 125k depending on the firm.
They holiday several times a year, almost always business class.

AIBU to think that is ‘𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘩’? My in-laws are all insisting that in London this is just comfortable but I don't buy it! Especially not with their mortgage free home!
I know it's not my business but it irks me

@CharlotteBog fair enough, that's why I said 'to me' .... but I think there's a vast difference between 250k household income and 2.5 million /25 million (footballers etc.) how would you distinguish between those out of interest ?

I have friends and colleagues on 100k plus each so household income similar to op's in-laws. They're obviously doing very well but nowhere near same lifestyle as footballers/ Kardashians etc.

It’s the mortgage free bit on a presumably expensive home that makes them wealthy. Frees up a lot of that income for other things.

Can't quote an already quoted msg - on phone.

So if you work you cannot be rich.
Then that's the end of the discussion.

OP, your BIL is indeed just comfortable, not rich.

Rich people never say they're rich, there's always someone richer

It’s odd, just because you aren’t as rich as Elon Musk doesn’t mean you aren’t rich. People can still be clever if they aren’t Einstein or beautiful despite not being as beautiful as a supermodel or having sporting talent without 5 olympic gold medals.

Yep rich. Btw I think you've seriously underestimated his bonus!

I don't dispute that you are comfortable and happy, and I'm happy for you, it sounds as if you have a lovely life. However, 'comfortable' finanically means what some people on this thread are insisting is 'rich'. Ie, owns home and either having no difficulties with mortgage or even has it paid off, easily can consider private school, more than one holiday a year, etc. It doesn't literally mean comfortable, it means well off.

Exactly, and some rich people (not even super rich, just very rich) would not consider Beckham to be wealthy.

This seems to be the hill you’ve chosen to die on, for some strange reason, @VanityDiesHard but while words do indeed ‘mean things’ as you’ve said previously, they don’t always mean the same thing to everyone — and your definition of rich — and/or hierarchy of terms — isn’t necessarily everyone else’s.
(FWIW, the OED defines rich as having a great deal of money or assets, and offers wealthy as a synonym… Likewise for wealthy, it offers rich as a synonym.)

Your ILs sound rude, so could you just say, Oh dear you’re not very good with numbers are you? Let’s talk about something else…

You sound angry at this man. Mumsnet definition of 'rich' someone who has more money than I do and is an arsehole because of it.

Well, the people in the OP do not have 'a great deal of money or assets' do they? They have a house, and car and some savings. They aren't absolutely rolling in it and it is disingenuous to pretend otherwise.

Loaded.

The Beckham’s couldn’t afford to buy Jeff Bezoz’s holiday yacht if they pooled every penny they had so he probably thinks they’re poor lol.

They are rich, but it's all relative

I'm sure he is talented and hard working, but I wish we lived in a world where everyone was paid fairly

I hate the notion that bankers and IT deserve to be paid mega bucks whilst teachers and NHS staff don't

When I say we make less we can't afford it, it's all "oh but they have to battle London pricing they are only just comfortable".

Except they don’t! The only thing more expensive in London is housing. If they own a house outright, the irs irrelevant - no ‘battling’ involved!

Exactly, lol. I'm not saying that the Beckhams aren't rich, of course. They are. But everything is relative and by the standards of rich people, the couple in the OP don't remotely cut it.

Agree, though childcare is also more expensive in London I think? But everything else is cheaper.

I’m not remotely angry with him. The people I’m angry with are those like you who live in such a rarified bubble that you refuse to accept one of a small number of the individuals with the most money in this country is rich. My definition of rich is someone in the top 1% - this man is in the top fraction of a percentage.

He will pay a lot of that in tax. I don't think that someone who only earns six figures is in the 'top fraction of a percentage'.

ETA. I don't 'live in a rareified bubble', it's not as if I'm personally wealthy lol. I just know what words mean.

Perhaps a standard response to the questions about why you can't afford things SiL does should be, 'because I didn't marry a high earner and she did'.

It sounds like everything your SIL earns is down to her husbands wealth/income and nothing to do with her.

Failing that, a simple, 'because that doesn't fit with our other financial commitments and plans'.

It might help to just let go of trying to explain the difference to your in laws and just smile and provide a benign response such as, 'that would have been nice'

Rich seems a contentious word but I feel we can all agree that they are "loaded".

Can't edit for some reason but I typed earned instead of has. The sole reason she can afford things is her husband paying for them

Nah, you don't. By any sensible metric have a net worth greater than 99.2% of the rest of the world is rich. It just is. It's staggeringly insensitive to the people at the other end of the scale to suggest otherwise.

What the 'rest of the world' earn isn't really a sensible metric by which to judge wealth, is it. By that definition, almost nobody in this country is poor.

It's in Richmond upon Thames - was a gift of inheritance
He doesn't work in investment banking he works for a private bank/wealth management company.