Beside myself - DH in hospital

[ThomasTheTwerkEngine]

Posting here for traffic. I'm a first time poster, but been on MN for years.

My DH have not been feeling well for the last couple of days. Had intense abdominal pain for nearly 30 hours. Yesterday he agree to go to A&E (which is a feat on itself). He got seen and left overnight waiting for a CT scan to rule out either appendix or gallstones.

CT scan this morning and his appendix is inflamed, there's also something "they can see" which might signal a small bowel perforation.

DH went in for surgery at 2.20 this PM. Been ringing his ward since 5 PM to see how he's doing, but apparently he is still in recovery.

My question, I suppose is: does it take that long to be in recovery? Every time I ring his ward no one can tell me anything. I'm making myself sick with worry, I can't eat, I can't move. All I want to know is if he's okay.

I feel very stupid posting this, I really do, but I don't what else to do.

As Silverbirchtwo suggested - the person you are speaking to on phone may not know where your DH is - he may be at a special post surgery ward - but anyway aren't hospitals short staffed at the present time with the strikes?

Recovery is on average about an hour but it depends. I’ve been there 20 minutes before, and over an hour at other times. Delays can be due to anything including being able to get a nurse down to collect you and hand over to. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong.

I’ve had several surgeries now and only one did I wake up bright as a daisy. My last one I was tachycardic and struggled to wake, no idea why but I was fine.

Hope he’s ok and you hear soon x

Here to offer handhold, am sure you will hear soon. x If anything if something had gone wrong I imagine they'd let you know more promptly than if everything went just as expected.

So much useful info on this thread!

@ThomasTheTwerkEngine 🤝❤️

Reality is, he might be waiting for a bed on a ward.

Please don’t go to the hospital. If it’s anything like ours there’ll be no where to wait apart from the corridor and you definitely are highly unlikely to be allowed into the theatre recovery. I can imagine that it’s incredibly stressful but your best bet is to get the ward staff to find out what’s occurring. Often time recovery can just take awhile, between pain needing to be managed, a bit of post op hypotension etc - time passes by quite quickly.

If there is a problem then someone will be in contact - what you don’t want to happen is half cocked messages being passed on without someone who knows the situation being able to explain things properly.

as an aside children are a bugger to recover especially if taken to theatre at night. They need to be at a certain level of awakeness to be sent back but often just want to be asleep!! Many a time a kid has been kept in recovery for ages before we just call it that there’s no problem except for the fact that they’re shattered and soundly asleep.

As promised, an update: he is fine and hungry!

Surgery took longer than anticipated, his appendix was close to burst. No word yet on potential bowel perforation, but judging by what he said, I don't think that was the case. He should be able to speak with surgeon tomorrow morning.

I offered to go see him for a few mins, but he is exhausted, with the exception of the odd couple hours of sleep between waves of pain, he has been awake since Thursday morning, so tomorrow morning I'll be there with him.

I feel inmense relief he is okay. He's never been sick before, he's a 40-year old man 6"6 and the picture of health. We come from fairly healthy families and surgeries are a rarity. I've been with him nearly 20 years and he is my world.

Thank you, inmensely for all your replies, I have read them all and I am so grateful for the sanity check and the understanding I found here. I'm going to get some sleep and more dog cuddles, will read you all again tomorrow. Thank you ❤️

Go and eat something. If anything had gone wrong, they would have contacted you.

Being in limbo is a horrible feeling but try not to worry. Cuddle the dog and eat some chocolate if you can. Sending lots of good thoughts for you.

Awww that's great news. I'm so pleased he's okay and you can relax.

Try and get a good night's sleep ❤️

Great news, he probably needs a good long sleep and so will you, look after yourself tonight and go to see him tomorrow when you're both feeling better!

Glad he’s ok - what a worry - hope you can get some rest before you visit 💐
My dh had his appendix out in his early 40s so we went through similar - initially they’d said it wouldn’t be his appendix as it wasn’t normal at his age!

So, so pleased to hear this OP. Do get some sleep and rest now and then in the morning you will see him. 👊

That is good news, hope you get a rest now and enjoy your visit tomorrow.

OP, I totally understand why you’re so worried but there are so, so many reasons he could still be in recovery and most of them are absolutely nothing sinister at all. He could just be too woozy or nauseous from the anaesthesia to go back to the ward at the moment. Or, given that there are strikes at the moment and it’s a Saturday, it’s perfectly possible there just isn’t someone available to give him the all clear to be taken down to the ward yet. I know it’s awful waiting but it doesn’t mean there’s any serious problem. Everyone reacts to anaesthesia so differently.

FWIW I had abdominal surgery a few years ago and I was in the recovery room for hours! Apparently I took forever to come round, and then when I did, I had to have some oxygen (no idea why) and then I fell asleep again and had to be woken up again and it was all just quite the palaver.

HOORAY! I’m so pleased all’s well. You must be so relieved xx

Glad to hear your husband is ok. Hopefully you'll be able to sleep tonight and enjoy your visit with him tomorrow.

My appendix surgery took longer than anticipated because they had to open me right up as it was (in the words of the surgeon) "quite a mess, very squidgy"! And they needed to get all the crap out of me to stop further infection.

Glad he is doing ok, but if I can make a recommendation..... if he didnt have keyhole then it will hurt like a BASTARD when he coughs etc. Sneezing had me feel like my insides were bursting out. So I rolled up a pillow and pressed it hard against the scar to equalise the pressure so it didnt hurt anywhere near so much.

Glad the surgery went well. My husband had a similar appendix problem during Covid, surgery just in time. I knew I wasn't able to visit him so maybe I was less stressed - just had to wait until he was discharged. He was older and less fit than your husband so I'm sure yours will recover well.

Excellent news x so very pleased for you both xxx

Hope you can get some sleep and have a good visit tomorrow xxx

FWIW your feelings were completely normal and understandable under the circumstances x

So glad posting here helped x While AIBU can be a bit of a bear pit, I've been helped massively posting on here sometimes when I felt unable to reach out in real life x

All the very best to you and your DP xxxx

If your anxiety starts to get the better of you, use that method of calming and bringing yourself back down to earth by looking around you and noticing 1 thing you can smell, 2 things you could taste, etc etc using the 5 senses. Also, stroking a pet is calming. Concentrate on giving your lovely dog some loving attention. His/her appreciation of that will distract you too. Is there something you can play with them, even at this time, in the house?

Thanks for the update OP, glad to hear he's doing well. Hope you can get some rest tonight.

(I love Mumsnet on threads like this. Women are GREAT).

Pleased he's well. Ask him to review his calcium to phosphorus ratio with regards to his diet.

So pleased to hear it all went well. Time for an early night, hot water bottle and good sleep.

Oh I’m so pleased for you. Time for you to get some sleep too!