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AIBU?

Do you think it would be easier to lose weight if you had more time ?

268 replies

kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 12:11

I am really really struggling to sort myself out with this.

Are these all just excuses though ?

I have lost weight successfully in the past, but I've also been exhausted by the whole thing.

I need to be super strict and spend around 2 hours in the gym a day, ( 5 days a week at least ) in order to see a change in my body. It's exhausting.

I have a full time job, two preschool aged children and a completely absent H, due to his work.

I also suffer from a condition which causes fatigue. So I start off with less energy than most people anyway. That is not even taking account the fact that I do all night wakings with my kids.

I just can't do all of this AND spend the time shopping/ meal prepping and going to the gym a lot.

How do people manage ? I really need to get back to a healthy weight and the only way I can see this happening is if I just don't work for a bit. I can afford to do this and yes I posted about this the other day. However I keep thinking- what if I take some time out from work to sort myself out and then I don't even manage to lose weight ?

Am I just making excuses ? How do people with so many responsibilities do it ??

OP posts:
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xyz111 · 06/01/2024 14:41

You don't need to do 2 hours. I was my leanest before I had my son, strength trained 30 mins a day and got 10,000 steps in. Weight loss is all about calorie deficit, not killing your self in the gym.

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Gowlett · 06/01/2024 14:41

Absolutely no doubt it’s hard. Especially when life is busy.
I had to force one foot in front of the other, at times.
And going to bed hungry wasn’t very nice, either.
But, like you, I feel worse now being fat / unfit again…

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ehb102 · 06/01/2024 14:42

I hear you, OP. I too lost weight doing a similar thing. It was so easy pre kids! Now it's hard as hell.

I agree with some of the others, you don't sound in a healthy place about your body.

You need to pick. Do you want to be healthy, mentally as well as physically? Or do you want to be thinner? Which means more? Chose a goal and prioritise it. Thinness doesn't automatically bring wellness.

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roarrfeckingroar · 06/01/2024 14:43

Kindly, yes it's an excuse.

Eat less. Eat better. It doesn't have to take hours to cook or prep.

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BlueGrey1 · 06/01/2024 14:44

You don’t need to spend 2 hours a day in the gym, you need to eat 1200cals a day and walk ( at speed) for 30 mins, taking yacult every day also helped, once you reach your goal you need to eat approx 1500cals a day to maintain it.

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kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 14:49

roarrfeckingroar · 06/01/2024 14:43

Kindly, yes it's an excuse.

Eat less. Eat better. It doesn't have to take hours to cook or prep.

Yeah I just don't want to end up fatter in a year and no job either ! Maybe I could give myself 3 month time limit or something. If I don't manage to make changes by then, then I can reconsider.

But I stand firm on it being easier in general if you do have more time and don't have a stressful job.

When I got fit before, I had a chill job and even then I found it hard. Getting in very good physical shape in itself is a job !

OP posts:
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missmollygreen · 06/01/2024 14:50

Eating less calories doesn't take much time

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WinterSalad · 06/01/2024 14:51

kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 14:41

I think the food is a comfort / stress reliever.

It's become my friend. It's all pretty stressful with young children. It's become my coping mechanism.

Very Likely. Happens to loads of us.

Put in a meal plan and stick to it. Don’t buy the snacks you can’t resist (cheese, wine, crisps and nuts in my case).

Take up something to stop you snacking. Paint your nails. Knit. Craft. Something that keeps your mind and hands busy.

and tackle the sleep. I never had a snacking issue until I had a sleep issue.

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xyz111 · 06/01/2024 14:51

How many calories do you eat in a day? What's your BMR?

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stcrispinsday · 06/01/2024 14:59

Abs are made in the kitchen, as they say. Weight loss means eating less. Exercise alone will not do it.

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Gettingbysomehow · 06/01/2024 14:59

No OP you need more money. For a personal chef. A personal trainer and weeks away at weight loss spas.

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Cosyblankets · 06/01/2024 15:07

Can you post what you normally eat in a typical day?
Do you weigh your food?
Do you track your macros?

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kalokagathos · 06/01/2024 15:14

80% of your weight is influenced by diet. Just focus on that. Do not snack at all. Do intermittent fasting - I.e. 8 hours eating, 16 not. That will do it.

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Tenegrief · 06/01/2024 15:20

I have read all of your posts, OP, and I'm not trying to do that annoying thing of disregarding everything you've said about your own experience BUT you do sound as if you are overcomplicating things so much that the problem is feeling insurmountable to you.

I think you should focus on one weight-loss element at a time. Firstly, look at diet - fully commit to a decent weekly calorie deficit (I'm a big fan of fasting (a combination of 5:2 (2 fast days) and intermittent, something like 16.8) as it doesn't feel too onerous, and you can still eat lots of what you want to). Don't worry too much about the exercising element until you start to see some movement on the scales/how your clothes fit. Once you're into your rhythm with the food, then harness that energy and motivation to think about how you want to tone up/sculpt/get fit. When I wanted to lose weight, this attitude of compartmentalising actual weightloss and fitness/body shape really worked for me - trying to do both together was overwhelming and frustrating and ultimately this lead to me making excuses and just not doing it. For me (you obviously may well be different), I don't really want to deprive myself of food I like and neither do I want to spend lots of time exercising - doing both at the same time is just too depressing a prospect. Focusing on just one thing I didn't really want to do at a time turned out to be the ideal solution.

The diet was the clincher. And I've managed to maintain by and large by sticking to the fasting.

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5128gap · 06/01/2024 15:34

I agree OP, getting into shape and turning your health around is a serious project and would be much easier if it could be approached as a full time job or primary occupation. That's why boot camps work. They take people away from all distractions so they can focus everything on their goal. However, given you have other responsibilities you can't do that, so you'll need to make do with pushing it to the top of your agenda for any free time. Make a pact to yourself that from now on you will do nothing that's not essential work, necessary rest, a lot of fun, or a step towards your goal. So no more wiling away time on your phone when you could be walking or cooking your healthy meals.

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NewYear24 · 06/01/2024 15:37

I recently lost 2 stone 11lbs and didn’t exercise. It took me nearly 5 months and didn’t cost me anything as in special diets, or subscriptions to apps etc.

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RobertaFirmino · 06/01/2024 15:38

My body is very very very difficult to shit pounds from

Have you tried eating more fibre?

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bluebellcopse · 06/01/2024 15:40

I need to be super strict and spend around 2 hours in the gym a day, ( 5 days a week at least ) in order to see a change in my body. It's exhausting.

No you don't. I've lost a stone just by logging everything in my fitness pal and cutting out junk, without even increasing my exercise, you just need a calorie deficit. I walk every day, make sure I do at least 10k steps, and often increase my step count in the house if I'm struggling to get out.

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cansu · 06/01/2024 15:42

It is easier to practise self care when you have more time. However you don't need to spend time going to the gym to lose weight.

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kitchenlover · 06/01/2024 15:42

5128gap · 06/01/2024 15:34

I agree OP, getting into shape and turning your health around is a serious project and would be much easier if it could be approached as a full time job or primary occupation. That's why boot camps work. They take people away from all distractions so they can focus everything on their goal. However, given you have other responsibilities you can't do that, so you'll need to make do with pushing it to the top of your agenda for any free time. Make a pact to yourself that from now on you will do nothing that's not essential work, necessary rest, a lot of fun, or a step towards your goal. So no more wiling away time on your phone when you could be walking or cooking your healthy meals.

Thanks. But that was my whole point. My cup is so full, I'm finding it hard to do it.

I could take some of the responsibility away and make this my primary ' job ' for a while.

OP posts:
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Kwasi · 06/01/2024 15:44

You lose weight in the kitchen and get fit in the gym.

Once you have a few healthy and lower cal recipes under your belt, it will be easier to keep making them.

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Hedonism · 06/01/2024 15:48

Do what you want, op, as long as you can afford it.

Nobody else on this thread (as far as I can see) thinks that giving up work is the answer. You obviously do, and you keep giving excuses about why all of the perfectly good advice on here is no good for you. So give it a try and see. You don't need validation from a load of strangers on the internet.

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Snowpaw · 06/01/2024 15:53

I reduced my hours at work in order to do just this. I can tell you it does work. I've lost many inches all over and 25lbs. I have more energy, I sleep better, I've improved my PMS symptoms. All I do is 2 hours of weights a week. I don't understand why you would need to go to the gym 5 times a week. I think you are being a bit all-or-nothing about this.

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CoatOfArms · 06/01/2024 15:57

Just echoing everyone else saying that 2 hours at a stretch in the gym, 5 times a week is not the answer. It really is all about keeping generally active and eating less. I also think your attitude to your body and what you are eating in general sounds very dysfunctional - why would you be embarrassed to tell a pile of anonymous strangers online what you weigh?

If you're towards the upper limit of the "overweight" category`as an average height woman, you're probably around 12 to 12.5 stones, 75kg to 85kg ish. Size 16 dress. There are a lot of people out there who are much bigger than you and who have a lot more to lose.

You have to find what works for you. I have dropped from 86kg to 78kg in about 3 months after a blood test showed very high cholesterol. Intermittent fasting, no red meat, no cheese, no full-fat dairy and other saturated fats. Lots of fish. I still have some way to go as my target weight is about 70kg. There are lots of very supportive threads on the weight loss forum and i'm sure everyone over there would make you very welcome.

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LessonsLearnedInLife · 06/01/2024 16:06

Good grief, no wonder you have no time after spending 2 hours 5 times a week in the gym. Pre schoolers are exhausting enough without putting that kind of pressure on yourself. As others have said, as long as you’re in a calorie deficit you’ll lose weight. Calorie deficit or yoga and/or pilates will tone you as well as walking. If you struggle to walk because of work etc why not get a walking pad and walk at night while watching tv? I don’t walk half as much in winter as it’s dark early and I invested in one of those walking pad machines, I’ve managed to hit at least 15,000 steps a day using it.

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