Pulling out of event due to moral conflict.

[Trolleydolly123]

Impending event (small christening) involving parents, siblings,in laws, etc, one member of this group also attending is amongst many other things, committing significant benefit fraud yet boasting about finances/money/lifestyle etc. This fraud is well known, obvious and blatant, no attempt to hide it, other members collude of turn a blind eye.
Lots of other issues related to poor parenting, child neglect etc, deception, DV etc, all round not a nice person.
Personally I find this morally wrong on so many levels and goes against everything I believe in, AIBU to not attend due to not wanting to socialise or be in proximity to this person?
I

You are not being unreasonable in not attending but you are being unreasonable not to report the benefit fraud and child neglect etc.

Who would you be upsetting if you didn’t attend? Would you be telling everyone why?

DV and child neglect is far more important than benefit fraud FFS.

Are you quite sure about the benefit fraud BTW or have you just assumed it?

Like everyone else has said child neglect and domestic violence would be more concerning than benefit fraud.
How are you related to the baby being christened?

Agree with previous posters - it's a bit rich of the OP to come on about an apparent moral dilemma when they squawk on about benefit fraud, then mention child neglect and domestic violence almost as afterthoughts. Wondering what your own moral priorities are, OP?

Go to the baptism.

Report this person for benefit fraud.

Surely the Christening is for the child not the 'suspect' or you. It would be nice if at some stage in the future you can tell the child that you were there for them on that day and said a prayer for them.
Being sociable at the event is something to play as it evolves.

I am going to bet my house that the OP does not come back to this thread.

This.
Why haven't you reported it?

If you need to attend in order to cover yourself for reporting the child neglect and DV, then obviously do.

@Trolleydolly123 to be honest, you are also guilty of collusion!! there is an anonymous line to enable you to "dob" said fraud person in! do it.

Have you reported them? If not I don’t really get how you can be so horrified to not want to go but not horrified enough to report them?

Yeah, they were just here to trigger a benefits bunfight and fuck off.

Just say you’re sadly unable to attend the christening but reply something like “please give ‘Baby’ this gift from me to celebrate their day”

Benefits fraud isn't really the biggest issue with this person if they're also engaging in domestic violence and child neglect. Report them for all 3 things. Silence is also collusion.

Unless this person is one of the parents, this event isn't about them, or about your opinion of them. If you can, go and give your congratulations to the parents and baby, be polite and then leave. You don't have exchange more than a civil nod or greeting with the person you don't like. If you can't do that, then politely decline and send the parents a card or gift, but don't use a christening as drama fuel for a family feud.

If I suspected child neglect and (possibly?) a child living in a house with domestic violence, I'd be straight on the phone to social services. Doesn't matter who it was or if it would cause drama in my family.

You need to report child neglect dv and benefit fraud ffs. You too are an enabler by not doing so. I could never not report child abuse im quite shocked at your post. You speak of morals? Where are yours?

Up to you, but be careful, it can get very windy up there on a moral high horse so hold on tight.

Thanks all, to update, yes i have of course reported, more than once.
Yes i know re benefit fraud for sure.
No of course i dont think this is 'worse' than child neglect etc.

Doesn't sound like you'd need to go very high to get above this person, if what OP says is true.

Is it their child being Christened?

It depends.
If by going you are supporting persons that are being abuse and keeping the lines of communication open, then go. If not do not go.

YANBU if they are the host.
YABU if they are just attending as a guest.

@Trolleydolly123

Have you reported to all relevant Authorities such as social services on child neglet issues and Social security Benefit fraud agencies about this member of christening then?

That's what you need to do next,

the next step going forwards

otherwise unwittingly you are contributing to the conspiracy of Web of lies and decit and a child or children who at desperate risk of harm too...

Thanks all, its a very small, intimate event followed by a meal, so essentially round a table with them, a small handful of others for the duration of a meal/afterwards. This is the part I am keen to avoid, sitting around whilst they 'hold court' etc.
I agree silence is collusion, hence why i dont wish to spend any time with them as it feels like colluding with what I feel is wrong.
They are not the parents of the one being christened, they are the sibling.