To want to drink nice drinks at a party if that’s what I take?

[TempleOfBloom]

We often socialise in groups at each other’s houses. I don’t like Prosecco, and always take Cremant or Cava, or if red something mid range and drinkable.

Then inevitably get poured repeat glasses of the cheapest available Prosecco or nasty mass produced generic red that others have brought.

Can I reasonably manage to open and drink bottles I enjoy, or should I cut my losses and also take cheaper bottles and glug it regardless? (I can do this, I just don’t really enjoy it, so drink a lot less, which is fine)

I’m not talking really expensive connoisseur type bottles that I take, just mid range drinkable.

You're getting your stereotypes in a muddle there I think. People who are happy to drink anything that's put in their hand and who would think it snobby to bring better wine just for themselves are the antithesis of the tinkly laughed pearl clutcher.

I’m sure it’s correct etiquette to put gifted bottles away, and provide your own (host) drinks for guests, so you will never get the wine you bring really.

Agree, one of my friends always drinks a certain type of wine, I always have it in for her. My close friends all bring their own booze, and as much as we also supply everyone is drinking their own. However if I went to a dinner party with not my closest friends ( and I assume this is the category the op is asking about, as she’d not ask if it was her closest friends ) then yes, I think it rude to decline what the host offers and sit there with my own bottle, not sharing it round and drinking that.

but do people really consult Debrett's when their close friends come over for a few glasses of wine and a bowl of crisps? it's all so stuffy.

I don't agree. I think that the sort of person who would be offended by an OP wanting to drink what they'd brought themselves is very much a tinkly laugher, the sort of person who drinks organic prosecco made from grapes harvested on a darling little goat farm in Puglia, because champagne is just so tacky, don't you know.

It's not gifted bottles though, if you are going round a mates house to meet up with some mates for a few drinks. You are taking stuff to drink there and then, so if you have a preference for a certain drink that nobody else brings why wouldn't you drink your own stuff?

I do that because I don't really like wine, so I tend to take a few bottles of cider if I go to a friends house. I'd be sitting there literally drinking nothing according to some posters here.

Indeed @Wytchy.
We don't even "carefully match wine with food" if we have friends round for dinner. We all just drink what we enjoy drinking. So we might have red wine with chicken (oh the horror!)

In normal land, you would. In mumsnet land, doing that would interfere with the wine pairings with the organic kettle chips and vegan bruschettas.

Snap! And back when I drank, I often had red wine with chicken. I even whispers had it with salmon, as I think a fried salmon with sauce maltaise (which is hollandaise flavoured with orange rather than lemon) goes beautifully with certain reds.

Ah, we're obviously thinking of very different demographics! I have an image of a party where everyone is happy drinking beer and cheap wine, then along comes one person who can't possibly drink what the ordinary folk can so brings their own special expensive bottle. In my scenario, they're all 'Ooh I couldn't possibly drink anything that cheap. I do admire your strong stomachs!' tinkly laugh.

@SkaneTos cava is Spanish, prosecco is Italian

If you're the only one that drinks something (guiness, or bacardi and coke for example which can be a bit niche) and you bring it, you're likely to get to drink it yourself. No problem.

If someone asks / pours themselves one of 'your' drinks it's polite to suck it up.

Although in the case of allergies (my DH has GF beer for example and brings his own) I think it's OK to say, would you mind if you had xyz instead as I can only drink those. But he'd judge the situation and only swoop if if he knew them / felt it was appropriate.

If you're drinking fancier versions of what's being passed around, I think you have to accept its all going in the pot. Bring more of yours to share, or bring, and drink, the cheaper stuff and save your pennies.

Apparently, its polite that anything you bring is a gift for the host (not that everyone abides by this) and you have no claim over your offerings!

TBH I'd think you were pretty rude if you kept your fancy stuff for yourself like gollum whilst the plebs shared theirs between them.

Could you make some excuse about sulphites bringing you out in a rash and there are only certain drinks you can tolerate. Don’t worry I’ve brought my own 😉 and gift a bottle of something else to the host?

Well clearly the OP’s friends adhere to this societal norm, as she never gets served her nice wine !
We would only start in a guests wine, if all other wine was drunk first.

I don't even drink alcohol, but I'd be annoyed if I brought something much nicer than anyone else ever contributed and never got a taste of it, or only a small bit. However, I don't see how you can drink only what you bring and not share it without looking bad. I'd save the nicer things for home, if everyone else was bringing lower quality drinks.

I see where you are coming from, but I find the idea that some people won't just leave people in peace to drink what they like and want MUCH MUCH MUCH ruder.

Personally, I don't think it's wrong or rude to ask for a glass of the drink you brought? When hosting, I'll usually open one of the first bottles to arrive and share it around but wouldn't be offended if someone specifically wanted what they'd brought.

Cava is much drier than Prosecco. I find Prosecco far too sweet, but really enjoy a glass of Cava. Cava is often cheaper than Prosecco, but I think that's because Prosecco is more fashionable.

There are a range of price points in both but the difference is the gas is injected into Prosecco whereas it comes from the fermentation process in cava like with champagne, so it’s generally less aggressively bubbly (I say that as someone who likes both!)

I wouldn't do it. I'd either just share the nice stuff or bring less nice stuff and save my faves for another ocation. But since others had offered solutions such as communication, I went with alternative 😁 to be fair if someone did this at a party I wouldn't really care. For new years I knew we'd share drinks so I just brought generic gin and wine. I knew I'd only get 1-2 glasses so no point bringing my favourite.

I don't find prosecco sweet at all @GlasgowGal82 . It isn't any sweeter than cava. Maybe you have been given asti spumante or sweet prosecco (which isn't sold in my local supermarket)?

It's perfectly normal for people who only drink certain drinks to bring whatever it is to a party for themselves. Beer drinkers who bring some cans for themselves, people who only want to drink a certain colour bringing that one. It's fine. It would obviously be rude to actually frame that as "my nice drinks vs your cheap shite", I assume you don't intend to say that bit out loud. Just say you don't drink prosecco, only cava.

I suppose an extra-polite tactic would be to bring what you want to drink as well as a general bottle as a gift?

I'm allergic to nasty Prosecco so I'd need champagnes or a Crement Loire etc... so I just say, Prosecco makes me ill but I can drink the stuff I brought??

Prosecco makes me shivery

What is it in Prosecco that you're allergic to?