To want to drink nice drinks at a party if that’s what I take?

[TempleOfBloom]

We often socialise in groups at each other’s houses. I don’t like Prosecco, and always take Cremant or Cava, or if red something mid range and drinkable.

Then inevitably get poured repeat glasses of the cheapest available Prosecco or nasty mass produced generic red that others have brought.

Can I reasonably manage to open and drink bottles I enjoy, or should I cut my losses and also take cheaper bottles and glug it regardless? (I can do this, I just don’t really enjoy it, so drink a lot less, which is fine)

I’m not talking really expensive connoisseur type bottles that I take, just mid range drinkable.

Surely in this situation, you’re either asked what you want, and you say-oh a glass of dry white wine please, or you are helping yourself and you pour what you want. I have never been to someone as house where they’ve given me a glass of x and I was forced to drink it all evening. What’s wrong with asking for what you want to drink!

The problem is that OP is having one glass of her nice stuff then everyone else drinks her bottle and she has to move on to the paint stripper wine.

I honestly think the only solution is
to bring more wine!

minipie · 05/01/2024 12:20

Tricky. If there is Prosecco or a red already open I think it would be rather princessy and rude to ask that your (ostensibly very similar) bottle is opened for you to drink.

No it’s not. It’s like someone giving you coffee when you prefer tea. Doesn’t anyone ask you what you’re drinking before they pour?

I find it so odd that the host doesn't ask you what you want?! Personally me & my friends pour our own drinks as some love prosecco some hate it. I like dry white wine, some like sweet. I don't do rosé or red, others do. We just grab a glass and sort ourselves out!

I was picturing that there is red already open and the OP says no I prefer my own red.

More like saying no to tea and then fishing out your own tea bags.

Every party I've been at we just drink the drinks we brought! The host provides food but we bring our own drinks.

I don't understand that though. Do vegetarians get meat if they are cooking to cater for others? Why should they?

if I take wine with me,it stays with me. There is no expectation of communal share. I wouldn’t bring my preferred wine to then surrender it for communal use and hope I get something I like form communal trough

@SkaneTos

neither did I. I’m pretty sure they are around the same price range. I was brought up under the understanding that cava was a lesser and worse tasting version of champagne and that Prosecco was somewhere in between. I personally don’t really like any type of wine (sparkling or still).

An easy way to get around it is to drink spirits and mixers. Rather than something similar to what is already open. Then you bring your own and pour your own drinks to your preferred strength.

I don’t understand you either. When I have my vegetarian friend over I cook a separate meal for her. When I go to hers there’s a mixture of veggie meals and meat (her DH cooks the meat).

Just because you have dietary preferences doesn’t mean you can’t host people properly.

Like I said. I didn’t drink when pregnant/ I wouldn’t have dreamt of inviting people over and just giving them tea just because I wasn’t drinking.

but they could have brought their own alcohol if it was necessary and if I went to a vegetarian/vegan friend's place for food I wouldn't expect them to cook meat for me because why should they go out of their way to buy stuff they don't use/eat.

I guess we have different ideas about hosting that’s all.

I wouldn’t expect meat to be honest. I’d happily eat veggie. But I wouldn’t dream of not providing a selection of alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks to guests regardless of my preference.

Maybe suggesting that setting a bottle price would be beneficial. If you’re buying the most expensive bottle and getting only one glass of it and cheap wine afterwards that isn’t fair to you. And while I’m hoping it isn’t intentional, it could solve your problem in the longer run.

OP Prosecco is not artificially carbonated, it’s fermented in steel rather than secondary ferment in the bottle that’s all. There’s no added carbonation. This is coming from someone who generally dislikes Prosecco.

My DH deals in fine wine and we have had different varieties of each of these sparkling wines and it all comes down to the quality. We had a stunning bottle of frizzante called Via Large by Massimo Coletti (same grape as Prosecco but ferment in bottles) You might be able to enjoy this with your pals - put them on to something better than supermarket stuff.

YANBU though, I’d be annoyed if I were bringing high quality wine and was lumped with £8 Prosecco from the supermarket. Thankfully due to partners job I often feel bad for pals when they are picking wine to host with 😂

But I have some pals who don’t care what they’re drinking and we go out and have a right laugh drinking all kinds of crap (it’s the company that counts!)

We always ensure to turn up with a good bottle and DH will often do tastings with the bottle we brought which is also lovely. Maybe take your friends to a wine tasting? Get them more involved and talking about wine rather than buying cheap rubbish just to get drunk?

This is impossible if you drink other wine but ok 😂 Allergies are a very very serious thing.

Interesting discussion!

Thank you to
@TempleOfBloom
@NeedToChangeName
@Nttttt
@Avoidingsleep
@GlasgowGal82 and
@MikeWozniaksMohawk
and everyone else here who has taught me more about Cava and Prosecco.

Yay! I love this, it’s great fun learning about wines, we often put on tastings due to my DH line of work. I know a small amount in comparison to how much there is to know!

The same with spirits/cocktails/sake/beer/cider too, it’s cool to see how now alcohol is becoming of huge interest to people. I also love the attitude of most hospitality staff now where they are happy the give answers to the questions we need answering

Again I will totally be out and about drinking margaritas with my pals away from all the wine stuff - it’s definitely about the company!

Unless I have a health condition I would expect to drink what the host offers without complaints at a dinner party. That's what polite guests do.

If you don't like the parties because the alcohol on offer is too cheap either don't go or suck it up. You can host yourself if you want to make sure of the exact brand & quality.

I really hope none of my guests turn up their noses at what I am providing the way you do. If I would ever find out I wouldn't invite them again as clearly what I provide isn't good enough for them. I would like to think that my friends turn up to my dinners for the company and conversations and the normal box- standard food & drink is the background for this to happen. For culinary experiences they can go to a restaurant or drink at home.

YANBU. You’re the perfect guest. You bring your own drink. Much less hassle and expense for the host if people just brought a bottle of their own preferred drink. Bring something else for the host as a small gift eg flowers, chocolates or don’t bother and just bring your own bottle and say I’m going to drink this tonight as it’s my favourite. You don’t have to justify yourself in your preference.

Touchy much? Maybe your guests just dare not mention it for fear of retribution 😂

I think the reasonable line is somewhere in the middle. You take a nice bottle or two and it's not unfair to think you might get to have some of it. Equally people are providing for a large group and maybe don't want to get Bollinger by the case.

Perhaps - and maybe this is true of all Mumsnet threads - perhaps we ALL need to be a little more tolerant of each other, try to consider other people's beliefs and feelings, think before we speak or act, give people a bit of leeway, and try not to judge others until you know the full story.

Actually that's not just Mumsnet, that's ... a community.

And wouldn't that be nice.

When you’re offered a top of, politely decline, no excuse needed just ‘I’m okay for the moment, thank you’ then a few moments later just say ‘I’m just going for a top up’ and get your own.

Could you talk to your other friends about it? I’m a guest who turns up with generic fizz and drinks whatever is open (your cava, probably), but would happily make sure that my generic fizz was cava rather than prosecco if I knew someone in the group had a preference.

What is wrong with them bringing and drinking their own? Surely it's about the company more than anything else? People are so weird and touchy about things that aren't important.

Cava is actually made by the champagne method where the bubbles appear as part of the brewing process. Prosecco the bubbles are piped in afterwards. Some say this means Prosecco gives them more of a headache. I don’t know if it’s the method but I do find Prosecco too sweet and headache inducing. Cava is brilliant and often cheap because it hasn’t had so much PR done on it as Prosecco.