To want to drink nice drinks at a party if that’s what I take?

[TempleOfBloom]

We often socialise in groups at each other’s houses. I don’t like Prosecco, and always take Cremant or Cava, or if red something mid range and drinkable.

Then inevitably get poured repeat glasses of the cheapest available Prosecco or nasty mass produced generic red that others have brought.

Can I reasonably manage to open and drink bottles I enjoy, or should I cut my losses and also take cheaper bottles and glug it regardless? (I can do this, I just don’t really enjoy it, so drink a lot less, which is fine)

I’m not talking really expensive connoisseur type bottles that I take, just mid range drinkable.

No but I also find Prosecco horrid. I generally take champagne and offer to open it and I’ve not had that turned down (I bring a present for hosts too). But I think many cavas are also pleasant enough

Take 2 - one for now & one for later.
Then open one!

Good idea to bring 2 bottles, one for the host and one that you ask to be opened because you want to drink it. If a guest of mine did that I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. Bringing one bottle and saying ‘That’s mine’ is a different story. Be direct. I doubt anyone will care.

The solution is simple!
Take two bottles or your chosen tipple, hand one over with a smile and explain that you brought one to share and the other one to ensure you get to enjoy the wine that you carefully chose for the occasion!

Maybe I am very uncooth, and every social event is different, but my take is that it's the done thing to "bring a bottle for the host"... but that if you have particular tastes you have the right to also bring stuff for yourself to consume yourself, in preference to consuming things others paid for that you don't want!

If you invited me for dinner which circumstance would make you most happy -

(1) I bring you a bottle and one for myself, and I insist on drinking my own booze which I love
(2) I bring you a bottle and don't drink because I don't like the other drink there and you don't open the gift or others beat me to it.
(3) I bring you a bottle and drink something someone else paid for that I don't want or like and you don't open the gift or others beat me to it.
(4) I turn down the invitation because I don't want to come unless I can have a drink of what I want to drink.

What use are friends you can't be honest with?

Obviously one should be a gracious and generous guest, but surely that applies to the host to, and surely you want your guests to be happy?

I don't think it is unreasonable to say to your host / hostess, 'I read about this wine and I'm really keen to try it this evening.'

I assume they ask you what you'd like to drink not just snatch the bottle you bring from you and then hand you back a glass of cheap domestic?

Be honest. I have the same issue on work meals when my boss secretary selfishly orders bottle after bottle of pinot grigio, which I loathe, but she drinks by the pint. I just calmly tell them that I'll pay for and supply my own drinks. Maybe take two bottles with you if you don't want to appear rude. One to be courteous for them to do what they want with and one for you to drink as soon as you get there.

I feel your pain. Tricky when your drink
is wine or fizz. With beers and spirits it’s more open to preference imo and you know what you’re getting. What pisses me off more is when people bring round cheap crap but then ask for the more expensive stuff 😆

I'm usually the nominated driver so take my own sparkling water. I can't drink Coke all night.

We tend to take a bottle of wine and flowers for the host. OH takes beers.

I always put the wine out for consumption as a host.

This is why I stay at home drinking what o like.
Happy Days.

@laclochette @Eigen Thanks for your explanations, v interesting. I had thought prosecco and cava were the same, but just from different countries

I think it’s acceptable to just say, I’m really having to be careful with my drinks as some just aren’t agreeing with me so I’ll stick to my own but here’s a bottle for the host/stash also xx

@TempleOfBloom can't you just say that you've brought your own to drink as you don't like the other crap they drink. If they are friends there shouldn't be a problem? I don't understand why this is an issue.

Aside, it seems like there are some wine interested people here… any interest in a mumsnet Wine Society? A place to discuss interesting wines with like-minded people…

“I’m just going to stick to my own bottle tonight. Otherwise I end up losing track of how much I consume”. Perfectly reasonable excuse ☺️

The perfect response! Take a bottle for the host and take a bottle or two that you prefer (to share)

Do the hosts not ask what you want to drink? Surely they do and you say I'd love a glass of Cava please?

I’ve never understood the ‘drink you take is a gift for the host’ thing. I’m tea total. People turn up at my house with a bottle of wine or beers. They’re clearly not for me. They know I don’t drink. They know they’ll only get a decent drink if they bring their own too as I don’t keep drink in the house - no point as I don’t like it. Nothing sinister as being a recovering alcoholic or anything. I just don’t like alcoholic drinks. At home I’d drink a brew with people round for drinks. People are used to me though. If I’m going to a party I’ll take a soft drink that I like - I can’t tolerate fizzy pop so take a juice that I like. Usually that’s what I drink. I might also take a separate gift for the host though. But the drink I take is for me. I will usually be offered a brew though!!

I haven’t read all the comments but when someone brings a bottle to my house I always ask if they want what they brought or what is opened. It’s not a hard question. I wouldn’t be offended if they ask for what they brought and have a few inspect the open bottle before answering before!

Prosecco is a bit sweeter than Cava. I really don’t like Cava but each to their own

Don’t you buy alcohol for guests though? Even if I didn’t drink (like when I was pregnant) I’d still buy a selection of alcoholic drinks for my guests.

But that is only part of the issue. OPs other problem is that she knows that when she goes for glass number 2 her bottle will be gone already and she'll be left to choose between things that she doesn't want to drink at all.

I honestly think this is over thinking.

I'd bring whatever I wanted to drink to a social gathering and just say when offered, no thanks I'll just have that x I Brought. That's what I fancy tonight.

If good friends, I can't even imagine this being an issue.
Even if you don't know the people well, why are we eating or drinking things we don't like?! 🤣
All this going along with it seems daft. You brought it. You paid for it. It's an ongoing social engagement, not a wedding or a one off party where you're bringing a gift. If you feel like you have to contribute then bring two bottles and say I'm going to be on this tonight, I've brought enough to share.

How hard is it to say.. I don't like prosecco, I'll have a glass of x, I'll get it don't worry!

Tbh to a good friend, I'd say stop trying to get me to drink your p!ss water and hogging my cava. We'd all laugh and no one would care.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable. You shouldn’t drink anything you don’t want to. I’d just say you don’t drink Prosecco as you don’t like it and have brought Cava instead. I’d bring a bottle for the host also.

I think if the invite said ‘bring a bottle’ then you can drink what you take. Otherwise you take a bottle or two as a gift.. in fact you could say .. that’s for you, this is for me 😀