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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Drinking wine each evening

536 replies

Mamabear2424 · 04/01/2024 21:30

Is it ok to drink wine every eve?? I have a glass , sometimes 2 every evening and I love it, it makes me happy. Dh says mental health more important so if it makes me happy I should just do it. I am a healthy 40 something with a professional career. I just love wine.

OP posts:
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16
Namechange9876543210 · 05/01/2024 19:15

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 05/01/2024 17:29

I think the main scientific consensus is probably that it's safer not to drink any alcohol at all, but most national governments would probably balk at telling their citizens to stop drinking altogether.

This.

JanglingJack · 05/01/2024 19:16

Evening all!

I just wanted to say thank you for the posts way back wishing me well. It really does mean a lot.

This afternoon I went for a walk with my 16 year old daughter, and it's possibly the worst I've been. No pain, but I just couldn't coordinate my legs. Whilst it's the peripheral nerves in feet and hands affected, I felt like each hip was going in opposite directions! It was probably a side effect of the Gabapentin that can affect gait, but it was quite upsetting all the same.
I was saying to daughter that I should start Pilates or something to find my core. I always knew where it was, but it seems to have scarpered!
DD gone to her Dad's now. I've cooked up a huge pan of tomato sauce to be the base if many things. Plenty of onions and garlic. I've watched my guilty pleasure Gogglebox, so I'm going to eat and take to my bed to read (probably with my eyes shut 😉).

I'm sorry to see you getting more defensive @Mamabear2424 as the thread goes on. Everyone can make their own choices and should be respected for that. I wish you well and thank you for starting an interesting, if divisive thread!

All the best.

I so wish I'd cooked my pasta earlier 🙄

dingdongdoo89 · 05/01/2024 19:17

You asked for an honest opinion so here's mine. As a wine lover, I hate to say that it's not ok. I'm 42 and the older I'm getting the worse it was making me feel for days after. So I started listening to loads of podcasts and audiobooks on the effects of alcohol and it's scary what it does to you. It's pure poison you're putting inside of you. You might feel and look ok but the damage to your insides is definitely happening. And I say this as someone who loves a good drink but the research I've done has really made me cut down to just a drink every few weeks now. If I could find a decent non-alcoholic wine I'd be so happy!

alphaqw · 05/01/2024 19:21

Mamabear2424 · 05/01/2024 15:51

Yes i bet loads of people here eat a ton of chocolate, not their '5 a day' and have sugar in tea and coffee, hey too much coffee? how about smoking, or even smoking weed? How many are overweight, eat ready meals, dont walk, drive their kids to school? We all have our 'poison'!!!

Edited

Other people's wrongs don't make you right

Cannyapper · 05/01/2024 19:22

If you mean, what would a doctor say...they would say 14 units which I think is one bottle a week. I don't keep to this at all though

blackpanth · 05/01/2024 19:36

Totally fine

Mumofyellows · 05/01/2024 19:37

My family are French. My mum has a glass of wine with lunch and one with dinner every single day, as did my grandparents who lived to their nineties and owned a vineyard, which probably helped! If you can stop at 2, you're healthy, and don't crave it during the day I think it's fine!!

chillidoritto · 05/01/2024 19:47

Sounds fine to me! I have 4 alcohol free days a week (unless I'm on holiday) and I only drink wine, not beer or liquor. Tbh I don't find the alcohol free days hard during the working week but boy am I ready for my bottle of wine on a Friday!

GasPanic · 05/01/2024 19:54

BrownTableMat · 05/01/2024 19:06

Thinking about it, I’m just old enough (sigh) to remember when smokers used to use a similar set of denial tactics, including the cliched “my aunt smoked sixty a day and lived to 103”, “doctors don’t know what they’re talking about”, “it helps relax me and would be bad for my mental health to stop”, “it’s sociable and I like to smoke with my mates when we go to the pub”…. But you don’t hear those any more, thank goodness.

I wonder if the millennials and Gen Zs, which have a far lower rate of drinking than us old Gen Xs and above, will eventually cause a similar change in social mores, so that excuses for drinking will come to be seen as obviously fallacious and die out in a similar way to the popular myths about smoking and health.

Edited

IME most millenials and gen z-ers are more concerned in justifying why weed is harmless than worrying about the negative effects of alcohol.

JanglingJack · 05/01/2024 20:10

Ultimately I think that if you can enjoy one or two glasses of wine with a meal, appreciate the grape, taste and vintage then you don't have a problem.

You have a problem when none of that matters and you drink because you like feeling drunk/tipsy/happy... That buzz won't last and you'll be forever chasing it.

It's hard to explain my life and why I started drinking at 11. Massively binged during GCSEs Alevels. A lot of it was great times. I've always been all or nothing though. I'd rather none than one.

If you enjoy a nice full bodied red with your steak, no problem. I'd have wanted the bottle and forgotten the steak.

I'm nothing now, I don't see the point in alcohol free drinks that emulate alcoholic drinks, I'm in a whole new world of pineapple juice 🤣 I just need it!!

MarsandVenus · 05/01/2024 20:10

When I had a health check up recently I was told it’s bad for ur health to drink every night (even if it’s just 1 or 2). Liver needs at least a couple of AF days between drinking days to clear. I was having 1 or 2 every night & my blood test showed a slight elevation in my liver enzymes. After a few weeks cutting back & having some AF nights, the results went back to normal levels.

4kids2cats · 05/01/2024 20:11

Following a heart operation my mum was told by her consultant to drink a glass of red wine every day: just adding that in to the mix!

Namechange9876543210 · 05/01/2024 20:18

4kids2cats · 05/01/2024 20:11

Following a heart operation my mum was told by her consultant to drink a glass of red wine every day: just adding that in to the mix!

How long ago though? I can't imagine a Dr doing that now 😅

For a doctor's take on it, please refer to @smileyface123 's earlier post.

Shouldistayorshouldi · 05/01/2024 20:21

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 05/01/2024 08:53

What qualifications do you have that make you a better judge of what's healthy than the NHS/medical experts? I'm curious to know what your judgement that it's a non-issue is based on. Have you carried out extensive research into this issue, and if so, where is this published?

Why are we acting silly?

In non-mumsnet real world this is completely normal. sorry you’ve not lived to meet any normal people yet. Take care. X

Crikeyalmighty · 05/01/2024 20:29

@Cannyapper 1 and a half bottles a week

CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease · 05/01/2024 20:29

@Mamabear2424 can I ask why you don't agree with Dry Jan? Do you think you could do it?

pollymere · 05/01/2024 20:31

It's better for your sleep and liver if you do a night on, a night off. Maybe try drinking zero alcohol wine every other night? It might be the habit of relaxing with a glass rather than the alcohol. If you find the zero alcohol wine isn't giving you the necessary ability to unwind then I would say your habit is actually an addictive problem. I greatly enjoy a zero alcohol gin and lemonade as a chance to relax or socialise which made me realize I didn't need alcohol for these things.

soupofpasta · 05/01/2024 20:32

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves I'd be interested to see the link as to where they got the 14 units advice from please.

OP, just my opinion, and you'll likely dismiss this cause I have a problematic relationship with alcohol - but I think that every day drinking, no matter how little, is a slippery slope. It creates a habit, and an association with drink=relax, also your tolerance always raises so that one glass isn't enough eventually.

I barely drank at all until in my 30s. Just nights out and occasions, the very odd weekend at home. I started drinking one glass of wine in the evening in my 30s, progressed to 2 (half a bottle ish), then crept up to 1 bottle a night - 70 units a week. That's when I really felt the health problems start.

Eventually ended up on over 100 units a week and looked and felt like utter shit.

Cutting down seemed so difficult, but I decided that no more than 10 units every other night was do-able. My reasoning was it's only one night. I managed that and actually started being fine with my not drinking nights, enjoying no hangover. Still 35 units a week though.

Now I'm down to between 10 and 30 units a week, depending. Longest I've gone completely without is 2 weeks.

I'm concerned about the reported cancer risk, but what I've read about it is so conflicting, depending on who you listen to. There is credible evidence saying no level is safe, and credible evidence saying that a small amount is beneficial for health, especially heart health. Want to become healthier but not sure which advice is correct.

I've also seen good evidence that your liver is at very bad risk on 35 or more units per week, which a hell of a lot of people are on.

Mamabear2424 · 05/01/2024 20:39

I dont agree with dry January as it is actually very bad for you health wise to stop for a month, then get going again . Far better to cut down gradually.

OP posts:
JanglingJack · 05/01/2024 20:49

Mamabear2424 · 05/01/2024 20:39

I dont agree with dry January as it is actually very bad for you health wise to stop for a month, then get going again . Far better to cut down gradually.

I'm not sure that you're quite at the cut down gradually level yet.

CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease · 05/01/2024 20:50

Mamabear2424 · 05/01/2024 20:39

I dont agree with dry January as it is actually very bad for you health wise to stop for a month, then get going again . Far better to cut down gradually.

@Mamabear2424 why is it bad to do it that way? I mean I know if someone is heavily reliant on alcohol the advice is to cut down gradually as it can kill them. I've read a lot of people who do dry January say it completely resets their relationship with alcohol and others don't go back to drinking at all

Jeffsmeffsmiff · 05/01/2024 20:50

@Mamabear2424 It's definitely not bad to stop drinking. What are you on about? As long as you're not seriously dependent with a very large regular intake. In which case, then yes detox can be dangerous without medical help. But I'm assuming from what you've said that this doesn't apply to you?

Nttttt · 05/01/2024 20:55

Mamabear2424 · 05/01/2024 20:39

I dont agree with dry January as it is actually very bad for you health wise to stop for a month, then get going again . Far better to cut down gradually.

Only if you’re an alcoholic and reliant on it. Having a glass or 2 or night isn’t reliant although it is a bad habit.

Coyoacan · 05/01/2024 21:06

Mamabear2424 · 05/01/2024 20:39

I dont agree with dry January as it is actually very bad for you health wise to stop for a month, then get going again . Far better to cut down gradually.

I read the start of this thread s couple of days ago, where you said you drink a couple of glasses of wine a night and are quite happy with that. But now you are talking like someone who drinks a bottle of vodka a night. Which is it?

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 05/01/2024 21:08

Shouldistayorshouldi · 05/01/2024 20:21

Why are we acting silly?

In non-mumsnet real world this is completely normal. sorry you’ve not lived to meet any normal people yet. Take care. X

Where have I said that I have not met people who drink a lot? I know lots of them. Excessive drinking is certainly very common. That doesn't necessarily make it "normal" or healthy.

I don't think I'm the silly one here.

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