Moved into a houseshare, regret it

[Ireallywantacat]

I'm 33 and split with my partner a month ago, he's still in the flat we lived in and the tenancy on that ends next month.
He's staying there as he works nearby, but I work in another city so I decided it'd make sense to move there.
I've only just moved in, and I feel like I'll regret it already.
I would like to save to buy my own property, and tbh this is the only way I'll be able to save at a reasonable pace whilst having some semblance of a life, if I rent a whole flat on my own it'll take much longer.
This is costing me £450 a month including all bills, council tax, utilities etc. and I am taking home about £1850 net so it's very reasonable.
The room itself is on its own floor which is perfect as you don't have to worry about people right next door, and the house itself is very quiet. It's just other women too, I've met one who seems very nice.
It's a shared bathroom unfortunately, that's not the end of the world and I've shared with my family/ex partner so I don't know why it bothers me that much.
There is no living or dining room however. The walls need repainting a bit in my room so I'm going to ask if I can do that myself.
I don't know why I feel so down because I'm going to be saving a lot of money, and it's literally only whilst I save for a house. My parents said they'd help with some of the deposit which I'm grateful for, but I still want to save myself as much as I can towards it.
I shared a nice flat with my partner and I guess this will just take getting used to, it's been a while since I've lived in one. I'm wishing I at least got an ensuite, but I've signed for 6 months now.
The good thing is that it is only 5 minutes away from my office. It won't be some sort of student party house and it does seem incredibly quiet. I think once I get my TV etc. I'll feel a bit better too hopefully..
Don't know what I'm looking for, just any advice really or similar situations.

Sending hugs, house sharing is brutal

I totally understand why you feel like that, but I think you need to give yourself time. You will enjoy the shorter commute, it might be fun to live with other people for a while once you've got used to it. And it's not forever, it looks very likely that you'll be able to afford your own home soon! Don't be so hard on yourself, you've had 2 major life changes. Good luck!

Thank you, I think it's just a case of it sinking in, luckily it is an incredibly quiet house rather than a house with 10 19 year olds like my sibling was in! I'll just try to make it more homely.

Thanks very much! Yeah, the area itself is great, fortunately the room is very spacious, some places are asking £700+ for a room which is ridiculous!

House sharing is hard OP. It probably feels like a bit of a backwards step but see it as short term if you can, perhaps there are opportunities for hobbies and the gym in the evening? Would you consider living with your parents after the tenancy is over and pay them rent?

I’m also in a house share in my early thirties, but in London so pay a LOT more than 450 a month. That’s an absolute steal, especially for your own floor!

You might find you really get on with the other women and love living there. It’ll be tough in the beginning but try and look at the positives.

It's weird sharing living space with strangers if you're not used to it. Give it time, at least you are not lodging which is even worse.

Hope u start to feel more at home there OP. Like you say it is temporary. Make it as nice as u can. It's a shame there isn't a communal area. Maybe u could go for a coffee with some of the house mates?

Once you start to see your savings grow, hopefully you will feel more positive.
Why not get a mini fridge as well?

Just try and think positively. You haven't mentioned anything bad, so it could be worse. Make friends with your house mates.

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately my parents live too far of a commute from my office and as much as I love them, I do appreciate my own space and I'm sure they do! Agree some houseshares are ridiculous prices! Thanks for the encouragement:)

Mini fridge is a fab idea!

I know the feeling, but give it some time!
It has only been a month, it's a very short time.

You’re getting over a relationship breakup and a move, no wonder you’re feeling shellshocked.

Be gentle on yourself, you’re making the best of a difficult situation and the lack of commute plus the money that you’ll be able to save will improve your life long term. 💐

You are suffering from the collywobbles. It’s a kind of sick feeling about a decision you’ve made and are stuck with for a bit. The good news is it usually passes quite quickly and you’ll soon remember that six months is not long at all and, in fact, a good length of time to get a new routine going and start up some new activities and friendships.

Finishing a relationship and moving is really tough. Be kind to yourself and also reach out to anyone who can support you. Even a few texts can help. Can you plan some weekends with family or friends? Trips to the cinema? Gym classes?

Good luck, all will be well.

The time of year won’t be helping , just look forward to spring when you can get out more and make use of the extra time from being closer to work etc

Just think short term inconvenience for long term goals. I moved back in with my mum with a baby after splitting with my ex partner to save up, and it was hard I won’t lie. At times I felt like a failure and I missed my old place I was renting with him but now I’ve renovated a lovely house on the road I grew up in. I’d never have been able to have done this without the short term sacrifice! I hope you get settled soon, get your self to b and m or dunelm and treat yourself to some bits to make your room feel like your own space! Good luck with everything, I’m sure it will all work out in the end xx

Get some nice things and take the savings of your first months and blow them all on things that make you happy. Posh meals out, new shoes, perfume, makeup, a rain coat … whatever you have fancied but not ever bought. And then having rewarded yourself for making the best of a situation you didn’t plan for thank your lucky stars it’s a quiet place and start to plan how your future is going to be. More interests or friends or travel and a savings lots that will soon pick up.

It's a huge change for you, and this time of year is a bit odd anyway.

Personalise it, the mini-fridge is a great idea! Get some nice throws, if your room is big enough a comfy chair you can curl up up in rather than laying on the bed.

You've got this! It's a means to an end.

Try to set yourself up in your room. A mini fridge is a great idea. What about a kettle too.

You're adjusting to a new set up after a break up in January......... anyone would feel low spirited.

Put up something decorative that'll cheer you up (fairy lights?) and eat some chocolate

Your savings towards your own place will surely lift your spirits!

Hey 😊 I'm 30 this year and in a house share, there's 6 of us altogether. I also do it as it's much cheaper than anywhere on your own/with one other person as I live in a very expensive city. I took a while to adapt as I wasn't used to it but I love it for the most part now. One of the girls has become a really close friend and we have fun living together and get support from each other after a bad day at work etc. It's ashame you don't have a communal space to hang out though. I recommend making a group WhatsApp chat if there isn't one already as its a good way to feel a sense of belonging and also helps reminds folk about the bins etc! I think you will probably surprise yourself in time at how much you become attached to it and see it as home for the time being.

When times are tough, think of end of month when you put £££ aside for your fabulous new property !!!

Thats what I think of when I have to go through hell daily with my boss 🙄

I house-shared for ten years in London so know a bit what it’s like. Everyone’s experience is different - good and not so good - so try and think positive and it could turn out to be a good experience. It’s a big change right now so it probably feels overwhelming.

As pp have said, get yourself a mini fridge, tv, kettle, maybe some furnishings to make it feel welcoming and homely.

Once you start to meet the other occupants you might find things in common, and perhaps might share a coffee or wine occasionally. Is there an outdoor space/garden? That can be a good communal space to share a wine on warm evenings. House-shares can be great fun if you click with the others.

Plan some good things like meeting up with friends to give you things to look forward to, and less focused on home and the big change.

I forgot to say, I'm sorry to hear about your break up. As someone else has commented, there's a lot of change going on which is always a challenging time