Should i be concerned about the boy next door

[Jacksmom4eva]

HI just looking for some advice please. There is a little boy living next door in a flat with his parents but hes never been seen! We hear him playing in frontroom and all over xmas hes been laughing and playing games from the sound of it but we share a back gate and in 3 months i've lived here no-one has seen him, they keep curtains closed and go to bed quite early (8ish), neither parents go to work and not talkative if u see them.

Would u be concerned ?

Hmmmm, we've moved to an end of terrace last August.

Next door lives a young couple. I have seen the woman three times so far and the husband also three times. So on average I see them less than once a month.

That being said, since there's a vulnerable child involved, I'd contact social services.

It's likely to be nothing, but better to be safe than sorry.

Children should go outside, socialise with others be educated, get vitamin D, build strength through out door play etc. This is a concern that needs reporting. I am surprised at posters thinking that this is ok. It is not okay.

(I am a healthcare professional who works with children)

I'd ring social services / police for a welfare check. Sounds dodgy as hell with the parents avoiding contact and failing to pick up parcels as well. Could be they're hiding the child or anything.

Report and be wrong = piss off your neighbours

Don't report and be wrong = could be tragic

Maybe the kid has a condition where you can't go out in daylight? Xeroderma iirc.
We don't tend to see our neighbours dc much in the winter. Never occurred to me to be concerned.

What if the parent has severe agrophobia?

Sorry, that's Mumsnet. People think that because you invited their views there is no moral restriction on their ability to express them, no matter how unpleasant or vitriolic.

What if the parent has severe agrophobia?

Then the agencies can help the parent and in turn help the child.

SS are there to help, children first but also parents.

If the child is happy what is the problem? He's got clean clothes.

What if he's not school age but looks 5 or 6.

Sounds like they are all in hiding, not just the child? Maybe they are failed asylum seekers or don’t have their Leave To Remain..?

The NHS waitlists are long!

OP a few years ago I posted something about our downstairs neighbours’ son who was always crying and never taken out except to go to school, I got the snarky comments and was called a nosy bitch for my troubles. I must admit this put me off and I decided on balance not to do anything about it. Eventually they moved abroad. In the event I don’t think there was anything sinister, just parents working all hours doing opposite nursing shifts so as not to pay for childcare and too tired for much engagement with the kid. But your set up sounds odder and potentially sinister. There’s nothing to lose by ringing the NSPCC.

I would report.
If something is telling you there is a concern I would rather get it wrong than say nothing and something happen.

The adults do go to the shop as OP says she has seen them. But even if they did, it's not OK for a child to be kept at home for months on end if that is what OP has said she has observed. Children have the right to an education, a right to be able to socialise and the opportunity make friends, to be able to be outside so they can grow healthily.

Yes there may be many legitimate reasons why the child may be kept indoors but again, the OP (and no-one here) doesn't know that. Hence why you report it to the people trained to follow up and check.

So his actually did happen to us as well, about 6 years ago we were living in flats and same thing, a kid never seen. Unfortunately in our case it was a sad story and the kid was being majorly neglected so on that alone I'd say report as thankfully my neighbour did report it multiple times.

Kid hadnt been out in 8 months!! As the parents didn't want people seeing her underweight and the bruises. Was so sad!! Glad the other neighbour was "nosy"

How often are you watching? Why do you know what time they go to bed? Don't you think it's possible that they've been out and about and you just haven't noticed. You can't possibly be watching all day or that means you also never leave the house. I have a 2 year old and we got out every day but unless the neighbour is standing by the window when we leave or return she would never see her. We haven't been in our garden for months as its winter and horrible.

He could possibly be disabled/ house bound?
I would make a call to children's services and tell them your concerns. They can do some lateral checks and decide if it needs any follow up.

Since when did leading a quiet life and going to bed at 8pm mean child abuse?
How do you know they never go out? Do you stand by your window all day monitoring their movements?
The weather has been crap recently so maybe they haven't being going out.
Stop being a curtain twitcher

Welfare check anonymously

The police are over stretched as well!
They would only do a welfare check if there was an immediate concern, such as the child in distress, arguing etc:
Sorry social services this is your call.
( unless it's 4pm on a Friday afternoon 😬)

Ok. Maybe I was being too blasé. Report it OP if you think this is a possibility

OP Ignore the snide comments Follow your insticts I salute your care

I mean if no one has seen the child ever this does sound odd. I am not avidly watching my neighbours house but I regularly bump into her in and out with the kids. For peace of mind I would report concern, better that than looking back at yet another case of I wish I had done something.

I lived next door to a whole family for a year and never seen them. Didn't even see them move out only when a new family turned up

This is the kind of thing that you end up hearing about in the news where people then question why the neighbours didn’t notice something earlier and report it before a tragedy has happened.
i would definitely say if it feels off then report it. If it’s investigated and everything is good then all good. If it’s not then you may save their life.

Disabled children should not be kept at home either.