Should i be concerned about the boy next door

[Jacksmom4eva]

HI just looking for some advice please. There is a little boy living next door in a flat with his parents but hes never been seen! We hear him playing in frontroom and all over xmas hes been laughing and playing games from the sound of it but we share a back gate and in 3 months i've lived here no-one has seen him, they keep curtains closed and go to bed quite early (8ish), neither parents go to work and not talkative if u see them.

Would u be concerned ?

There is no need to go round or do anymore investigation, nor do you need to have any idea what the situation might be.

You think there could be an issue, hand it over to social work and let them look into it.

If he is fine at worst his parents have a minor intrusion of privacy, if he’s not fine you may save his life.

Then why are you talking about it on mumsnet instead of taking the safeguarding lead's advice?

I think you should just call social services. They can work it out.

You have a concern about a child.

You should report it, every concern about a child should be reported. You have then done your bit and the professionals can do their job. They may decide it doesn’t meet the threshold for any action after they assess the information you provide, but that is their job to decide and not the job of random people on the internet.

I wish more people understood that they don’t have to investigate any concerns or decide themselves if those concerns meet a certain threshold.

Your job, and everyone else’s, is to report any concerns you have about about a child. That’s it.

because i wanted it from others perspective, didnt expect all the nasty comments!

Report for a welfare check, if he is never seen going to school then that is a reason to report. He may not be known to the school, health, social systems. The child could be missing from education, which is a risk factor.

Sorry, what am I missing? What makes you think his life may be in danger?

Being reported to social services is not such a minor thing btw. Obviously if its necessary it's necessary but it shouldn't just be done on a whim.

Perhaps helpful to consider the worst case “what ifs…”. What if you report your concerns and there’s nothing wrong? Then the worst case is the parents are upset (and the child is fine). Whereas what if you don’t report it and there is something wrong?….

Phone SS with your concerns. If they visit, child ok ( or no child at all?) then no harm done. If there’s a problem I’d hope they’d do something.

Report. If the wee boy is fine it will go no further.

@Tacotortoise and who decides if it’s necessary or not?

No, being reported to social services isn’t minor if the parents are not adequately looking after a child. If they are, then yes it will be upsetting but no further action will be taken and that’s the end of it. The parents are not the priority in any safeguarding concern, the child is.

This is very strange and sad if you are hearing correctly.

An anonymous tip to welfare or social will put your mind at ease.

if your intuition tells you something is wrong then listen to it.

Their behaviour sounds very odd and worrying they would rather give up shopping than engage even on a cursory basis.

I would want to report there is a child there that never leaves the house and the avoidant behaviour of the adults.

The relevant authorities will know if they are his parents. I would be worried they aren’t and even if they are, why they are acting so suspiciously and why he’s hidden away.

💯 this. If you have a concern then report it and let the people whose job it is to look into it look into it (either local children's services or the NSPCC)

Threads like this make me sad. Like the only two options are to ignore it or report it to the authorities.

Just knock on the door and be neighbourly.

I'm very torn in this. As a SW, the information you've mentioned I don't think would meet threshold - as SW's won't just do 'welfare checks' esp if you don't have names, dates of births etc.

However, the police will. But I'm not even sure there is enough info for the police to act on it.

Services are so over stretched atm! So maybe a call to police, explain your concerns and they can make a decision about whether they door step... tricky!

Which may mean the child is fine, but the OP doesn't know, neither do we. The best person to make that judgement is someone who has been trained in safeguarding (who the OP has spoken to at work) and has now advised she contact social care.

Because it isn't just about what OP does or doesn't see, it's about a whole picture, and there just may be other concerns elsewhere which are significant (eg parents previously known to social services who need support).

If it's nothing at all and the child is fine, and OP is just missing them going out and about with their child, then SS will just move on.

Not at all jesus didn't think I'd get so many nasty and vicious comments

Yes, because the kid sounds happy and seems to go to bed at a reasonable time. Always warning signs.

They speak to nobody they've not even collected parcels.or.a week shop.ibe taken in

@Jacksmom4eva

I use to work in social services. Please report it. If there's nothing wrong the case will close. I do not understand the mentality of some people, ss isn't the enemy, they are there to protect children and vulnerable people, if nothings wrong they will stop the investigation.

Also don't go round yourself, you don't know these people, but you know they are not friendly/neighbourly. If you make yourself known to them it could cause issues for you.

You are so right to report this as a possible concern. I’d just check that the safeguarding lead you mentioned it to is actually going to take it further. If not you need to yourself. Well done for caring. We all need to look out for children who can't take these steps themselves. It's much better to report than to just hope it's ok.

my thoughts exactly.
how old do you think this child is OP?
How do you even know there is a child?

Not just that if you read my other replies but thankd for.yohr input