To not understand why we aren't having a baby? What other tests can I do?

[scndrinfrtlt]

I'm 29, DH is 30. AMH 17. Had ultrasound on uterus and ovaries, confirmed all fine, high follicle count, no issues found anywhere. Had hycosy - no issues. Semen analysis results above average (317m sperm count, 7% morphology, 62% progressive motility). Both taking supplements (pregnacare, CoQ10, omega 3 for me). We have a DC who is nearly 2. Trying for 9mo. I'm a healthy weight (59kg, 170cm)

I'm willing to have any other tests possible. What else should I investigate? What could possibly be wrong?

I had a v delivery but with the use of a ventouse suction cup and forceps. I remember being quite bruised down there afterwards. Could any damage have been done during the birth or delivery?

While it might feel like you’ve been trying for a long time, and your experience the first time around left you with an expectation it would happen quickly, you haven’t been trying that long.
It’s easier said than done but you need to relax. Every time your mind is obsessing say an affirmation like “I have been able to conceive before and the doctor’s are confident there is nothing preventing me now, I just need to trust that it will happen when the time is right”. You also need to look at your life and find ways to fill it up with other things to focus on. Have you got any hobbies or interests? Any fun activities or trips planned?

I don’t know exactly what the issue is op but in all honesty, 9 months isn’t long - especially when it’s your second. Something about already having a kid to look after maybe! You could always try things like acupuncture, adapting diet. Not sure if it works but might be worth a try. We gave it 18 months then went for ivf. And yes our first child came naturally and very quickly! So who knows why.

I know this might come across as a frivolous thing to focus on, but do you mean you can't make yourself orgasm at all either? Apologies if I've read that wrong. I do wonder if focusing on your own pleasure might help a bit, even if just for periodic tension release! I'm quite an anxious and obsessive person. I think you can still obsess over this, but by focusing that mental energy into getting into a mindset of arousal, pleasure, joy, loving feelings and having great emotionally connected foreplay and sex, rather than ovulation sticks and supplements, is the way to go. For me, being able to get into that headspace has always started with my self esteem and confidence; and I don't just mean appearance wise! Have you got hobbies that you're good at/bring you enjoyment and fulfilment? Creative hobbies tend to be relaxing, where you can get into a 'flow state'. I appreciate that's really hard with a toddler around, though!

I think what people are trying to get across is reducing fertility anxiety through enjoyment of your current life as it stands is not going to hurt.

You can also use your own fingers to check the position of your cervix, how soft it is, and mucus consistency. Have you been trying this?

Baby 1: seven years of trying plus two failed IVFs, a miscarriage and DD was the final hope and last embryo we had left.
Baby 2: Gin and tonic, binge watching The Crown, day two of trying.
Go figure 🤷‍♀️

Hi, I fell pregnantly very quickly with my first. It then took two years to conceive my second (at age 29). We also had tests which were all good so no known issue and I was timing sex perfectly every month!! It’s very hard not to obsess i know but I do think relaxation is key to ensuring your hormones are balanced and you’re not raising your cortisol levels which interfere with hormones. I suspect this may have contributed to me as I was working a very high stress job at time.

Also in terms of practical tips, we conceived the month I basically threw the kitchen sink at it and was taking baby aspirin up to ovulation (I read something about this helping sometimes), clean eating only and also used conceive plus lube with a menstrual cap inserted after sex for 12 hrs.

I hope it works for you soon!

Unexplained infertility is the absence of a diagnosis. It is not a diagnosis in and of itself. There is always a reason for infertility. ‘Unexplained infertility’ simply means the NHS haven’t found out what the reason is yet. Never accept this as a ‘diagnosis.’

I think you’ve had some good advice.

There are no more tests you can do.

Its important that you don’t see this as a “failed plan” every month and try to reframe your time schedule.

Statistically it takes at least a year for healthy couples to conceive naturally. It also takes your body 18 months to recover after pregnancy and birth.

Your plans were a little unrealistic that’s all.

It might help to change your plans to continuing trying for another 9 months with the (medical) reassurance that’s it’s statistically likely to happen in that time frame.

It sounds like (financially) private medical intervention (IUI or IVF) would be an option affordable for you so that can be your plan b to think about in 9 months.

For now you need to remain realistic and patient and stop panicking that something is terribly wrong.
It’s completely normal to be TTC for a year.

Took me a long time for baby 2. Took baby aspirin for a month and boom! Finally pregnant. Gets the blood flowing to your uterus apparently. Worth a try!

My friend had unexplained secondary infertility, took 5 years to get pregnant with her second and 2 rounds of IVF even though she got pregnant within 1 month with her first.

Try not to stress, I was told a year is normal so if it gets to a year and nothing I’d start looking further into things, I understand though, took me 3 years and fertility treatment to get pregnant with my 1st and when I finally got pregnant I realised how much time I’d given to TTC, it took over my life, just the stress I’d put myself through took up so much headspace. Try to fill your time with other things, get a hobby etc etc.

My niece took aspirin too and it worked. Thins blood but keep dose low .

Not just the NHS,any couples go through extensive private testing and still end up unexplained.

@JollyHollyXmasTime I guess this is what I'm trying to ask. It's unlikely that there's NO reason whatsoever that I'm not getting pregnant, it's a little silly to keep doing something that isn't working and I'd rather figure out what needs to be done earlier rather than later

@Fullfatandfortyplus do you remember the dosage you took? Is it all month or during a certain part of your cycle?

@DonnyBurrito how do I check my cervix using fingers? Would be keen to know! I feel like I've read a lot online about conceiving but haven't come across this

Agree with this as I also got pregnant during my period. Was my birthday so specifically remember and was the only day it could have been (was not planned as was very young and stupid). Wiser now. Good luck op!

@Nicole1111 the thing is, my life is full of distractions / fun activities / events whatever you want to call it. I go on holiday every few months, when we're at home we tend to do something as a family like an outing to a museum or somewhere fun at least once a week, during the week I have so many play dates with friends and their babies.
But still it's difficult not to think about having more babies when it's literally all I've ever wanted and aimed for (even whilst pursuing my law degree I knew ultimately I'd work for a few years before becoming a SAHM)

Any idea when to take it and what dosage?

Aspirin : 75-100mg daily. Can increase your chances of implantation by about 25%.
Make sure it’s on your notes if you continue in early pregnancy.

Its important to remember that you don’t have “unexplained infertility”
You need to be TTC for longer than 9 months before jumping to this conclusion, particularly so soon after being pregnant.

You are doing everything to optimise your chances apart from one thing- do not obsess about it and put so much pressure on yourself.

If you have a logical way of thinking then try to consider conceiving naturally like a raffle. There is no exact action or combination of actions you can take to be successful. If you’re healthy and having sex then give it 18 months

Every month you’re drawing a ticket and statistically one of them will be the winning ticket. It could be the first, the 11th, the 18th or any in between.

It is still highly likely to happen.

A pp suggested improving your sex life and perhaps seeking sex therapy.
Flooding your body with stress hormones every time you have sex because you can’t relax and enjoy it is detrimental to your relationship, your emotional health and to conception.
That might be an angle to explore x

The reason is that every month you need the right date (which obviously changes), the right sperm (so I agree you shouldn’t do it too much), the right egg (and you may have lots of eggs that just aren’t great quality), it to implant in they right way and then for your body to continue it. It’s a lot. Before contraceptive many people still had bigger age gaps between children as it’s not as easy as we’re made to believe.

Have you read ‘it starts with an egg?’ It takes three months for the egg to mature so basically the diet and lifestyle you have now will improve the egg you release in three months.

And for all of those things I mentioned, 9 months is really nothing.

My good friend took 4 years to fall pregnant after having her eldest first go no problems at all

@Cmonluv this is the sort of thing I'm worried about.. 4 years!!!

And then conceived naturally and has her 2nd baby.

It took 5 years and 5 miscarriages before I had my eldest and a further year and another miscarriage before I had my youngest.

9 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things, it's easily explained qs 2 months of wrong timing, a couple months of a dud egg or incomplete ovulation and a couple months of stress effecting your hormones.

Honestly get some counselling, best thing I EVER did was have a year off.from ttc and come to terms with possibly never having children. Take some time, enjoy the child you have, have sex for fun.

I don’t think anecdotal accounts are particularly helpful for you.
For every woman who took 4 years to conceive naturally, they are many more who conceived within a year.

If you like to feel in control and plan, then why not set an aim to pay for assisted conception after you have been trying to conceive for 18 months?
An IUI procedure could be the next step although if I was a gambler Id put money on the good odds of you being pregnant by then!

I don't really have anything to add as the ladies have given amazing advice which I have also taken in board myself I'm 37 so feeling times is against me ..I have 2 kids but youngest is 13 so a big gap...been trying for 5 months now going into month 6 and have been stressing non stop.. I've joined a gym this month so going to take my mind of things we'll try 😆😆😆good luck for your bfp