To not understand why we aren't having a baby? What other tests can I do?

[scndrinfrtlt]

I'm 29, DH is 30. AMH 17. Had ultrasound on uterus and ovaries, confirmed all fine, high follicle count, no issues found anywhere. Had hycosy - no issues. Semen analysis results above average (317m sperm count, 7% morphology, 62% progressive motility). Both taking supplements (pregnacare, CoQ10, omega 3 for me). We have a DC who is nearly 2. Trying for 9mo. I'm a healthy weight (59kg, 170cm)

I'm willing to have any other tests possible. What else should I investigate? What could possibly be wrong?

I had a v delivery but with the use of a ventouse suction cup and forceps. I remember being quite bruised down there afterwards. Could any damage have been done during the birth or delivery?

The obsessing sounds crazy stressful and not normal. Can you get some help for that? It shouldn't be blighting your life like this when you already have a young baby to enjoy. Feels like something else is going on to be so fixated on another so soon.

There’s nothing wrong with you. Those tests are comprehensive.

There are no more tests worth doing now. Statistically, it takes one to two years for most fertile couples having regular sex to conceive a baby.

@SmileyClare yes paid privately. I guess there's no rush in the sense that if I am able to have kids I could later, yes. But I always wanted a big family so would need to have my second now rather than wait another 5-10 years. And also if there's issues in terms of why I'm not pregnant after 9mo it's better to deal with them sooner rather than later

@43ontherocksporfavor yes taking both

I listened to a podcast recently about women’s health and a doctor was talks about the effect of stress on our cycles and fertility. Dr Mindy Pelz. See what you can find.

Stop trying and let it happen when it happens.

I have seen it so often, friends trying so hard they don't fall putting themselves under too much stress, until they stop trying, many conceaved on holidays when relaxing.

Big difference between waiting five years and worrying after three months. Also no fun having a big family if it creates this timetable of 'needing' to conceive again so soon to the extent that you can't enjoy a holiday with the small family you have. Please hear what everyone's saying about it being normal to take a year or two especially after giving birth. Your DH must be worried about you feeling so stressed.

It took me 4 years to conceive #1 and I’ve a 5.5 year age gap between #1 and #2. You need to calm down and enjoy the baby you have or this level of stressing when you know you’re fertile will drive you insane.

Kindly, it’s going to take how long it’s going to take, regardless of what size family you envision having in what timeframe. Mumsnet users are not reproductive doctors. You attended doctors and they have confirmed no issues. Almost all posters have advised you that 9 months is not long enough for this amount of concern.

You have to work on accepting this.

9 months isn’t really a long time, though I understand it feels like it does. Obsessing and stressing to the degree that you are - especially having started stressing just three birth after giving birth to your first child - is not normal. Spending all your time thinking about it, to the extent that your partner is having to distract you with multiple holidays, family visits, excursions etc, and to the extent that you sent him for fertility testing just three months into TTC after the birth of your first child, is unhealthy.

Your body is hugely affected by stress hormones like cortisol. And if you’re not even enjoying the sex you have every two days, then that’s hardly much of an incentive either. Give yourself 6 months “off”, relax the sex schedule, don’t try to make anything happen, and allow yourself to not think about it anymore. You may be surprised what happens.

hope you can can find some peace soon

Hi OP, I was exactly you, au understand everything you’ve said - we panicked after it didn’t happen immediately, we went and got all the tests done (ours came back much poorer than yours) and were even talking to IVF clinics. But, we had success on cycle ten of TTC baby 2. It was the month that we moved house and we’re just too busy to track ovulation, take supplements etc. We stopped trying that month. I know it seems non-sensical to say ‘stop trying’, but maybe take a break, plan a busy month, with lots of outings and commitments, and you might just find success.

I hope you wouldn’t say this to someone who’d been trying for years rather than months.

Posters are right- relax and enjoy your family.

I want a big family so it needs to happen now Are you going to be like this after every baby is a few months old? ..worried and inpatient to get pregnant again?

I’d try a few sessions of Acupuncture!

Forget about ‘trying’ go for a weekend or time away and just have fun, drink and f##k!

The main issue is likely to be stress. It's hard not to stress but these things have been clinically proven to help:

1. Deep relaxation (Google Yoga Nidra)
2. Acupuncture
3. Exercise

We are animals and animals tend to reproduce when circumstances are optimum. If stressed the body assumes that it's not a safe time to have a baby. Obviously this isn't always the case (otherwise people wouldn't get pregnant during wars etc) but can be a significant factor.

Ps when you say you don't organsm with a partner does that mean you can alone? If so do that after sex.

Have you had your tyroid function tested? My thyroid levels were very slightly under and after 3 years of trying, I fell pregnant 6 weeks after taking medication for it. They told me at first I didn’t need medication as it was so very slightly under the recommended level but I obviously did. Started trying for 2nd baby and fell pregnant on cycle 4.

I got pregnant within a couple of months with DC 1. 2 years later it took me nearly a year to get pregnant with DC 2, like you I paid for tests after 6 months (which were all normal for both of us), and was tracking ovulation and quite stressed about it (very easy to say ‘don’t stress’- I didn’t manage it!).

What worked….just time, lots of sex each month and patience. I think there’s about a 20% chance of getting pregnant each cycle even when everything is fine (or that’s what I was told for my age- probably better odds at yours), so really in a 5 month window where you time sex perfectly you might expect to be lucky one month in five- but of course stats don’t work this way- in the same way you have a 1 in 6 chance of throwing a 6 on a dice, but still could throw 1-5 for 10 or more times in a row by chance before getting a 6. (Only by throwing hundreds of times do the numbers start to average out). So I just mean it sounds like you were lucky to roll that 6 early on last time, but it’s not at all unusual for the ‘lucky month’ to take a year or so to come- but it is very likely to happen sometime in that year.

When we then tried for DC 3 (another 2 years later)- I figured it would take ages or might not happen at all- but got pregnant first time trying- just the equivalent of happening to roll a 6 your first go.

I found the book ‘The Impatient Woman’s Guide to getting pregnant’ quite reassuring when we were trying. Good luck OP.

Sorry I mean I just don't orgasm with a partner or without. I meant "with any partner" in the sense that... it's not my DH!

Have you never had an orgasm? Or you’re just unable to with a partner?

Probably TMI for 9am in the morning but perhaps some solo orgasms might help to relax you? Orgasms after sex aren’t required for conception but the muscular contractions can aid the journey of the sperm cells.

The main takeaway from this is to stop putting pressure on yourself, panicking unnecessarily that something’s terribly wrong and be a bit patient.

I would definitely agree with trying to relax a bit more. My DH and I tried for18months for our first then ended up having 4 rounds of IUI. Because of this we thought we could not conceive naturally so didn't use any protection after that and I got pregnant naturally completely out of the blue!

Do it before sex as apparently it changes the type of mucus you produce which makes it easier for sperm to travel to the right place.

Yes tested as well and turns out it's fine!

You may need some counselling for anxiety and to help you relax. May or may not help you get pregnant but either way you need to chill out.