To not understand why we aren't having a baby? What other tests can I do?

[scndrinfrtlt]

I'm 29, DH is 30. AMH 17. Had ultrasound on uterus and ovaries, confirmed all fine, high follicle count, no issues found anywhere. Had hycosy - no issues. Semen analysis results above average (317m sperm count, 7% morphology, 62% progressive motility). Both taking supplements (pregnacare, CoQ10, omega 3 for me). We have a DC who is nearly 2. Trying for 9mo. I'm a healthy weight (59kg, 170cm)

I'm willing to have any other tests possible. What else should I investigate? What could possibly be wrong?

I had a v delivery but with the use of a ventouse suction cup and forceps. I remember being quite bruised down there afterwards. Could any damage have been done during the birth or delivery?

It's not as straightforward to get pregnant as people think. Just keep trying and do your best to relax.

You haven’t mentioned how old your baby is? Are you still breastfeeding?

I don't think having sex every day is a good idea, we were told every two or three days to allow the sperm to mature. And if you can't have sex for several days he should 'throw a bit away', so nice new but mature sperm. That was years ago so maybe advice has changed?

It probably feels like a long time but it's not uncommon for conception to take 1-2 years. I'd try to relax a bit and see what happens in the next 6 months.

Firstly anyone who tell you to stop stressing and try to just relax will probably make you want to punch something.

Secondly, although frustrating, they are right.

Thirdly, there is no magic button to ‘just relax’ - if you find one, let me know.

My positive story here is that I’d tried for 4 years. Had every test (no problem), then latterly gone on to try clomid, IUI and IVF, all supported with acupuncture, reflexology and mediation. Nothing.

I couldn’t completely ‘chill’ as I had distinct ovulation pain so avoiding knowing was impossible.

However life took me on a path I wasn’t expecting and DH and I parted. I was then resolved to not having kids - my time had run out and I was single. A year later I met someone whose marriage had also ended, ironically, due to the pressures of infertility on his side. So it absolutely wasn’t an option. We brought a stupid car, an impractical house and booked frivolous holidays. I didn’t think about having a baby any more because it was no longer an option.

I was pregnant 2 months later and had DC1. We got married and didn’t think about another baby because statistically we would not be that lucky. But we had DC2.

Telling someone to relax can feel, in your position, like sanctimony. I am not trying to do that as I know how hard this is. Neither am I telling you to try a new DH!!

I agree relaxing is the key - but how you instantly do that is a very tricky thing to do.

what if any birth control were you using before TTC? I was on the depo injection after my first, only had 3 shots before TTC again and it took 18 months or so to fall pregnant again

A friend of mine adopted a baby, because they had been trying for years with no luck. She then immediately got pregnant, so they had two children very close together in age. I guess the adoption took away the pressure.

This was going to be my question (about the bf). Bf is not a reliable contraceptive when not done at very regular intervals day and night, and it never stopped me conceiving (conceived three times while bf my then 13-18mo - two mcs and then a full-term pregnancy and I ended up tandem feeding for a couple of years), but it's possible that it might interfere.

DC is nearly 2. For about a year before TTC we used the pull out method (both before DC and before TTC #2). Ie I haven't really been on any contraception since early 2020.

It takes on average 12months for a woman to get pregnant op, be patient

I fell pregnant with my first by accident then took 3 years to conceive my second. Turned out I had low progesterone levels and 1 month on Agnus Castus and I was pregnant. My sister was exactly the same and Agnus Castus sorted it. Clear indicator of this issue is breakthrough bleeding or short cycles but sometimes you get neither. Wishing you all best - 9 months is really nothing, although feels it at the time

This is actually very very very common, it's to do with the stress. It's crazy how much a little bit of stress can affect your body

I am astounded that any medical professional agreed to all those tests given your ages and history, when it should have been obvious they were unlikely to reveal anything of concern. Stop measuring everything and just have more sex, never mind timing.

You do feel so helpless, don't you?

I fell pregnant after 4 months with DC1 but then couldn't fall pregnant again after a MMC when I was 32.

After 12 months, we had all tests which were normal.

I went private and got prescribed clomid. I then fell pregnant on the 2nd month of this. The consultant said it was like having more darts to throw at the dartboard every month.

Take a cough medicine containing guaifenisin daily around ovulation. Should help make your cervical fluid more receptive to semen.

@scndrinfrtlt I am
Sorry that your journey isn't working out the way that you planned it, that can be really really difficult and I understand your desire for this to happen quickly. My journey to parenthood also hasn't worked out how I anticipated it to albeit in a very different way to yourself. I understand how difficult it is to "not stress" and how frustrating it is to hear that advice. I second a little acupuncture though for supporting with stress relief if you can access that. I did find it relaxing although wasn't doing it the month I finally conceived a successful pregnancy. Are you spiritual at all? If you believe in the mind body connection perhaps you have a mental block regarding childbirth due to a possibly difficult first labour? I could be well off with this but I found exploring that kind of thing very interesting and it helped me come to accept my situation and it did help me finally relax after two long years. The fertility detective on instagram is worth looking at if you are looking for more routes to investigate. Good luck!!

9 months is nothing.
Nature should be working to ensure a gap between pregnancy.
Do you still breast feed and when did you stop?
Do you spend most of your time looking after your 2 Yr old.

Your body needs to relax to feel that you are ready for another pregnancy and baby and not still busy with the first.

It sounds like you're doing everything right OP, so if everything looks ok...then all you have to do is wait unfortunately.

I'm saying this as a woman who took 2.5 years to conceive our daughter (failed round of IVF and then conceived her naturally) nothing found 'wrong' with me or my husband. Unexplained infertility. And had been off hormonal birth control 1 year prior to ttc.
Our daughter is 4....again not a sniff of pregnancy....nothing wrong with either of us.

It is what it is. I can't force my body to conceive. Our cut off is in the next 6 months when we're 35 and going to move on to the next chapter of our lives.
I'm very thankful for our daughter.

I would maybe try using a lubricant to make sure the sperm are getting to where they need to be. Was advised to do this by a doctor when doing ivf, and passed on the advice to several friends for whom it seemed to work!

@Mumof2teens79 I stopped breastfeeding 10 months ago (the had a full month of not breastfeeding before TTC)
My mum helps with my DC a lot if I need to pop out for a doctors appointment, manicure, lunch with a friend etc and we have a housekeeper 3 days per week so I wouldn't say I'm overworking myself!

We got pregnant right away with our first but I mc. It took us 2.5 years to fall pregnant again. I can feel your stress and frustration from your posts and I must agree with the others it isn't helping. I was like you month after month so I know that feeling of running out of time. Once I relaxed and started enjoying sex with my DH instead of it being about conceiving it happened. You are already taking all the right vitamins and have got yourselves tested so all you can do is relax and perhaps try meditation acupuncture/reflexology massage and meditation videos or councelling for your mental health. It's like you have stopped living and this is a shame as you have your DH and child who need you to be present and involved.

In the meantime I started accupuncture and bingo within two months I was pregnant.

@Mothership4two might have a point. Bingo could be worth a go, OP. At least you might win a cash prize in the meantime 😁

Have you tried using a mooncup after you have sex?
Also selenium. I was doing the whole It Starts With the Egg regime for 10 months and it wasn’t working, then got pg the month I added in a daily selenium. Might be a coincidence, might not.

😂

AMH 17? In ng/ml? Is this a typo?