To think I can teach my DD to drive?

[DrivesNowDriving]

My dd (17 next week) can drive. We live on a farm and for the last few years she has been driving on private land. She also competes in low level motor sport.

Aibu to think that I can teach her to drive on the road? My partner thinks I am crazy but as she has full control over the car, can parallel park/reverse etc so I can't see quite what the problem is.

I see parents taking out children after five or so lessons, but that is only enough time to start learning the art of controlling the car.

We would start in quiet roads etc and we get on well and work together well so not worried about her not listening/being over confident.

YABU- of course she needs lessons

YANBU- a parent can teach a child to drive.

I didn't find teaching ds1 stressful at all. I loved it. Dh did a lot of the donkey work in his first 4 'lessons' with ds1. Not everyone finds it stressful, I was looking forward to it, and enjoyed it very much. Found it satisfying.

I went out with both my parents and DH when I was learning, but I absolutely benefited from being out with an instructor who a) knew exactly what was on the test and who b) wasn't related to me

Don't underestimate how stressful it can be when you've got no real control of the car but are the one telling the driver what they should be doing and when. I remember quite a few arguments and err, heated discussions lol.

Whereas an instructor is trained to deal with nerves and can ultimately step in and take control if you make a mistake (or are about to). I passed my test first time and had driven all the test routes multiple times before test day which made a huge difference too.

I would start her with lessons. You will have bad habits you should not pass on. Some rules will have changed and you may not have picked them up. She will get an unbiased view of what level she is at and how she needs to act to pass her test. You can always be with her when she practices after a few weeks.

I think as it's a skill that her own and other people's lives depend on throughout her life, it's worth spending a bit to ensure she's doing things right. With you providing practice.

Driving rules also evolve fairly regularly, eg the new hierarchy of road users - I'd say an up to date teacher to teach current rules is a good idea.

@DrivesNowDriving you can hire dual control cars by the day

Both my gs's passed with an instructor, one first time. He always said to get as much practice as you can, so my dh took them both out. Gs2 was a typical teenage know it all and my God, there were some real clashes. But the instructor was right, they really needed lessons to learn how to pass the test. We are in our sixties and I tend to ride the clutch, bad habits you pass on.

Hilariously a family member in her seventies said she would not be much good because when she passed her test she had to do hand signals!

But I have to say most of my colleagues who taught their kids without using an instruction, well they all failed their test.

My advice is to get out with her but leave the instruction to the instructor whose paid job it is to ensure a good pass rate and safe drivers on the road.

I’m a driving instructor and this is untrue.
Anyone can turn up to their test in their own car (providing the car meets the test specifications) and take their test without any lessons from a driving instructor

I taught my son in an industrial estate and then on the roads. He passed on his second attempt last year

Driving instructors teach people how to pass the driving test ,

My dad taught me to drive from scratch. Then I just had a handful of lessons with an instructor at the end just to make sure I was doing the maneuvers how they wanted them done to past the test. With your daughters experience I would absolutely say you can teach her.

An instructor will teach them to pass the test, you can add value in taking her out by teaching her to drive. That was the agreement my Dad & I had and it worked for us. It’s as much about understanding how to pass the practical exam (which the instructor will advise & critique on) as it is about learning to drive.

Conquer Driving on You Tube is a really good resource.

Just bear in mind you don’t have dual controls so won’t be able to brake for her if needed, and she won’t be used to traffic. I imagine she’ll think it’ll be easy and then it’ll turn out to be a whole other kettle of fish on a road! But obviously depends on her, you and the roads around you! I wouldn’t do it myself as I’d be too worried we’d cause an accident.

obviously you can take her out for practice later but that first road session or two i’d let an instructor handle..

My driving instructor was very good at preparing me for the test.
He took me along every possible route of the test.
Took me to the places where the 3 point turns, parallel parking, reversing around a corner took place so I got to practice on the actual roads that would be used in the test.
He taught me little things to look for that the examiner would do before testing me on something.
Like how to tell when the examiner was counting how many times I would check my mirror in 30 seconds and when he was going to ask me to do a emergency stop etc.
I learnt lots of things that I wouldn't have learned from my parents and I passed first time.

Yes perfectly possible - but some lessons to ensure she is test standard would also be good.

My take is the more experience behind the wheel the better. I would try it. Lessons are crazy expensive now.

This. I don't know why people qould scrimp on this of all things. Driving could kill someone, it happens every minute of every day

I agree, but I'm not convinced that 20 or so lessons (so 20 hours on the road) will make a safer driver than someone who could have 100 hours practicing.

Plus the majority do have lessons and yet people still die.

I am not just disregarding what you have said but can't see the facts behind it.

YANBU. My mother taught me to drive and I only had 2 proper lessons with an instructor before my test which I passed first time. I taught my son to drive, again minimal proper lessons, and he passed first time too. You don’t need a professional to tell you what you have to do in the test - easy to research it online to find out about minors and majors and the things you have to do.

I imagine driving round on private land with very little/no other traffic would be very different to driving on public roads.

It's not unreasonable for you to teach her the majority yourself, however I'd get her to start off with perhaps 2-5 lessons with an instructor to take her out, given they'll have dual control cars, and you won't (I presume). That will help you gauge her ability and confidence mixing with other Road users.

I recently passed and only had dh as a teacher as we couldn’t afford lessons. There’s lots of YouTube resources from instructors that break down tests or manoeuvres that I find helpful.

I’m a driving instructor, having had chats with my learners they all without exception slag off what their parents do during practice runs with them. And you know what, this is exactly what my son will say about me (who is qualified) when it’s his turn to learn. When you’re their parent it’s difficult to be their teacher, and for that reason I’ll probably do a bit of teaching my son but he’ll also be taught by another instructor because he will listen to them!

My teen dd passed last month, she never had a single professional lesson from an instructor. I taught her from day 1.
It was fairly stressful but we took it at a steady pace.
We couldn’t get an instructor long waiting lists so we made a start and then thought why not have a go at a test.
I watched a lot of YouTube videos on driving techniques and mock tests, things examiners look for, things they don’t want to see.
We also bought the test routes app, and used this as practice on drives so she knew the routes and the tricky parts of the town.
The app helped massively because she knew what was coming up and could plan in advance, getting in right lane, positioning and so on.
I actually couldn’t believe it when she passed. I was proud of her but also of myself for getting her so far, it’s so stressful teaching your own child, and honestly sometimes a bit scary without dual control.
Her dad took her out for a motorway lesson a few days after passing just to make sure she was confident there too.

There's no requirement for anyone to have paid for driving lessons in the UK. Passing the tests (theory and practical) is the way to determine whether someone is safe to drive. I know someone who's taught both their kids to drive recently and neither had lessons with an instructor. I've paid for my kids to have driving lessons but it's not essential.

It's easy enough to pass a test as it's short and you're focused. Day to day driving is different and you're likely to pick up the bad habits of whoever taught you. It's like anything, surely you'd pay a professional and not do it yourself, but particularly important for driving where your life literally depends on it. I think it's a good idea to have 5-10 lessons with an instructor to set you up, then continue practising with parents, just because it's not a legal requirement doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do.