To think I can teach my DD to drive?

[DrivesNowDriving]

My dd (17 next week) can drive. We live on a farm and for the last few years she has been driving on private land. She also competes in low level motor sport.

Aibu to think that I can teach her to drive on the road? My partner thinks I am crazy but as she has full control over the car, can parallel park/reverse etc so I can't see quite what the problem is.

I see parents taking out children after five or so lessons, but that is only enough time to start learning the art of controlling the car.

We would start in quiet roads etc and we get on well and work together well so not worried about her not listening/being over confident.

YABU- of course she needs lessons

YANBU- a parent can teach a child to drive.

Definitely she will be able to react. Certainly better than someone who had 5 lessons with an instructor. Reading the road I agree is different.

The driving standards comment is a bit of a red herring- from all I've looked into most people who pass their tests have professional instructors and yet driving on UK roads can still be poor (having lived for many years abroad in several countries the standard of driving in this country is significantly better imo although I concede still often poor)

Driving lessons in their own are never really enough to pass the test - most parents take their kids out for practice.

I had mine driving all the time when we were both in the car.

Absolutely teach them yourself, just a few lessons for exam technique and learn the routes.

I took DS17 out on the roads from the day he turned 17. He also drove everywhere that we were going. However, he did also have weekly 2hour lessons with a driving school. the instructor knew exactly what was needed in order to pass the test. What we found was that the way they are taught now is different to how we were taught in the 80s/90s! E.G. the way they approach/cross a roundabout or how to approach/cross a junction. If he hadn't have a proper lessons, he would have picked up our habits. As it was, he passed his test first time within 3 months of learning.

There is a difference between being able to drive and being test ready, I'd get her a few driving lessons to start with so she can learn to drive to pass then a few lessons when she's ready to sit her test so she learns the test routes.

Like others I took my DC out as much as possible both general driving and driving test routes. They had a few lessons to get test ready and to ensure they were doing things properly.

I'm sure you know this but as soon as she passes her theory book the practical - it's many months wait list in some places.

It's also worth looking at the main reasons people fail e.g changing lanes on a roundabout and driving too close to the curb/parked cars.

Same rural situation here, eldest could reverse a towing trailer accurately from age 2 or 3 with a pedal tractor, had been driving tractors in the field for a couple of years, so could do everything. She had 10 lessons (weekly) from the instructor to teach her 'how to pass the technicalities' that weren't in the test when we took ours in the 1970s, plus familiarisation of the route as well as the actual test car (none of ours really suitable). Otherwise we (mostly DH ) took her out in the pickup (NFU marvellous insurers didn't mind she was 17 on L plates), and she drove us about on various chores, sometimes for miles. No surprise she passed first time no minors.

I first learned to drive overseas, in a country where you were almost bound to pass the test if you didn’t actually crash the car. I knew of someone who passed after going through a red light. The examiner just said, ‘Remember next time!’

After a year back in the U.K. I had to take a U.K. test, foreign licence no longer valid.
I took a few lessons to be sure. The ex-police instructor was worth every penny. I thought I could do hill starts standing on my head, but he made me do one over and over - I couldn’t think WTF I was doing wrong.

Eventually he said, ‘You didn’t look over your shoulder. That would have been an instant fail.’ (I don’t know whether this would apply now.)

Some years later (also aeons ago) in a Middle Eastern country where dh and I were working, a Brit colleague of mine took driving lessons with a local instructor.

Shortly before the test she told him she needed to practise reversing - she wasn’t confident at it. He said, ‘Oh, they don’t ask ladies to go backwards here.’ 😂
And she wasn’t asked to!

My dad taught me to drive, however I failed first two tests because I'd picked up his bad habits I then had to have a block of lessons with an instructor so I was test standard. My dad's career was always with cars (driving, racing,fixing and then assessing damages) but it was pretty difficult then having to relearn hand placement and being brake heavy for the tests.

I passed a year ago, drove frequently with dh in the car but I do think that instructor lessons are really important for passing. The driving examiners look for certain checks, road positioning, how you can follow a sartnav/signs/verbal instructions. Apps and all the information on the dvla website will help but you may pass on habbits which are not test standard now.

Also, the law changed recently so that learners are able to do motorway driving but it has to be with a qualified instructor in a dual control car. Very useful.

I would also brush up on the Highway Code and the driving test minor/major fault lists. You could be doing things that are a bad habit and result in your DC failing. A common one is cutting corners when turning in to a road (or having wheels over the white line)

Just came on to say I'm constantly surprised by how few parents teach their children to drive and that I think it's probably why we have so many bad drivers. Like others, I agree an instructor to help them with the technical bits/ pass the test is useful, but unless you're absolutely loaded, the cost of an instructor doing enough instruction to ensure your child is a competent driver by the time they take their test is unlikely.

By the time I took my test, I'd done many many hours of driving because my dad took me out weekly for a couple of months - early on Sunday mornings when it was quiet so we could practice narrow roads/traffic lights/roundabouts etc. And then once I was vaguely competent, I was expected to drive pretty much everywhere we went. Then a few lessons to make sure I knew the correct way to do the parking and to pass the test, and done.

Also, as you can't drive on motorways with a learner's license, I'd expect parents or an instructor to take the new driver on a few motorways immediately after passing the test.

Has this EVER been allowed? And if so, that explains why so many people do it even though it's clearly bad practice and very dangerous. Drives me absolutely batshit crazy at the end of our road where it happens a LOT.

It's also worth looking at the main reasons people fail e.g changing lanes on a roundabout and driving too close to the curb/parked cars.

If this is true, I feel reassured about the quality of the driving test in this country.

OP - definitely feel free to teach her yourself, just make sure that when you're on the roads at first you go early, maybe on weekends, so that she's got a bit of leeway to make mistakes when there isn't a lot of traffic. And some lessons for the "formal" stuff - in my home country, you had to actively move your head left and right to look and see if cars are coming from side roads. Many many many people failed from not being obvious enough about doing that.

I would mix and match. Definitely take her out yourself but also have a few instructor lessons because there are things in the test an established driver won't be aware of. Also bear in mind if she is going to do the test in your car you need to make sure it is a car that is on the approved list. I have a convertible mini, wouldn't be allowed to take a test in that.

My best mate is a driving instructor, she get loads of messaged from people she hasnt taught but they want her to take them to their test so they can use her car, she does not do this and most of her driving instructor colleagues take the same stance so def best to get in with a driving instructor and have a few lessons.

Also, an instructor can give tips about test routes. Like a 20 limit just after a bend on a hill that catches a lot of people out. Avoiding an 8:30 slot at a certain test centre which is opposite a primary school and has two mini islands, a zebra crossing and many people just pulling up to park on the pavement all in a the 100 yards in front of the centre! Stuff like this is worth the money.

When I learned to drive years ago I practiced with
DM. The only thing you have to be aware of is if you’re on main roads. I apparently narrowly missed a double decker bus one morning and DM was yelling at me!

I just think be careful on small quiet roads, build up to busier ones and also busier times of day.

I taught both of my DSs to drive and got them a few lessons before their tests to make sure they did things to test standard, and it was useful for them to go round some of the test routes. I did find some of the test routes online so it could be worth looking for those. I think that the main thing is that they get plenty of experience in different situations eg. go on dual carriageways to get some higher speed experience, hill starts, getting the positioning right at junctions. It's also useful if you know the quirks of your local area that you can pass on.
Once I asked if the instructor could practice parallel parking and they only did two attempts and then just did driving around, which is what the DSs were doing with me for free.

You can but not all parent child relationships survive it!

She might need some lessons to see that she’s doing this according to the book

I learned to drive around farms etc. about 35 years ago. Still needed a few lessons to get to test standard. Taught S18 mostly, although he did have some lessons. I think the thing that someone mentioned about a log book is just instructors keeping a record of what they have taught, is the driver ready for test, rather than a legal requirement. S18's instructor had an app I could look at to see what he had done each lesson and know what to work on.

He passed 1st time. Once we got past the pain of the theory...

You may be able to teach them to drive but an instructor will get them “test ready” with no bad habits they’ve picked up from their parents driving.

You are not a teacher of driving, so will be passing on all the things you do incorrectly, plus I doubt you even know all the elements of the 2024 driving test, and exactly what the examiner is looking for.
So yes by all means help her, but she will need lessons. Driving about on some muddy farm in an agricultural vehicle is a different universe from fast busy roads- and other sometimes very bad drivers.

I'd get her about 10 lessons so she learns the correct way to drive, then she can get more practice with you. I really wish people would take driving more seriously, as this is why there are so many bad and dangerous drivers on the road, all learned bad behaviour from their parents.

My eldest had those under 17 driving things then learned with a qualified instructor plus a lot of time with both me and Dh. The instructor gave the all clear for him to be in a car without dual control. The driving instructor is a top level chap and said Ds is the best student he has ever had and we know why.

I agree with everyone above that there are 2 different things to learning to drive, one is the mechanics of the car, understanding the clutch, the engine, when to change gears, braking and when to put the clutch in. I was taught to change down through the gears, Ds was not.

The second is being as prepared as you can be for your lessons. Ds was meant to learn to drive then covid happened. So we both watched lots of mock test videos from driving instructors on youtube, that talks through lane positioning, roundabouts, meeting situations and how to deal with things that you wouldn't come across locally (ambulance gate was one of them.)

Youtube has lots of driving instructors talking through how never to stall the car, hill starts etc and general driving. They also have students who are being taught to drive. Ds2 is about to learn to drive, he too did the under 17 driving and I don't mean bombing around a race track but actually learning to control a car, parking, reversing etc, these are amazing experiences with qualified instructors before they get out on the road.

I would absolutely teach Ds2 to drive. We have the booklet from Ds1 that shows what each lesson focused on.

Hi,
I taught my daughter to drive from scratch. She didn't have a single lesson with a qualified instructor. She passed her test in April 2021.

We started on quiet industrial estates, getting basic control and learning to move between the lower gears etc. we then moved on to small roads and just built up very gradually. I watched loads of YouTube videos from driving instructors. She did all the theory on her own. It was good.

I felt she was ready to take her test after about 3 months but with various lockdowns etc. she had to wait for about 10 months in the end which was no bad thing as she was so ready by then. We practised daily!

I have taught all my 3 DD to drive!