To think I can teach my DD to drive?

[DrivesNowDriving]

My dd (17 next week) can drive. We live on a farm and for the last few years she has been driving on private land. She also competes in low level motor sport.

Aibu to think that I can teach her to drive on the road? My partner thinks I am crazy but as she has full control over the car, can parallel park/reverse etc so I can't see quite what the problem is.

I see parents taking out children after five or so lessons, but that is only enough time to start learning the art of controlling the car.

We would start in quiet roads etc and we get on well and work together well so not worried about her not listening/being over confident.

YABU- of course she needs lessons

YANBU- a parent can teach a child to drive.

@UnmemorableName thanks that is interesting to hear. I've been watching YouTube videos and amending how I drive (ten to two!)

I've just re read all the Gov information and it has all the sheets/notebooks for driving instructors so I'm going to download that.

Have also checked my car is suitable so thanks to a pp for mentioning that

I would definitely book a couple of lessons to prepare for the test, there are some really specific things DS was taught that I wouldn't have thought to tell him but the experience out driving with us in between lessons was a massive help. He ended up having to take his test in his own car as instructor was unavailable also. Also he did a few of the test routes with the instructor, you can look these up though.

I just did my test in November. I could already drive, having had lessons years ago but not done the test due to my instructor moving away - I kept up driving with DH though. I had lessons with an instructor last year and I’m glad I did, because DH could help me with the technical stuff and the rules of the road etc but he didn’t know all the things the examiners look for, what counts as serious/dangerous faults and minors. My instructor was also able to take me round all the local test routes and tell me what others had failed on so I knew to look out at those areas - for example there’s a narrow one way street on the test route and one pupil went too far to the left at the junction when turning right to come out of that street; she’d done that because you get a clearer view up and down the narrow street you’re turning into but she failed because of it.

I think you could do a lot of the teaching and take her out for a huge amount of practice but she’d be best to have at least a few lessons with an instructor just to learn what they’re looking for in the test.

When I was younger this was completely the norm in my circles. You had a couple of lessons with an instructor, perhaps did the test in their car just to put the test polish on, but you learned from your parents (or in my case, boyfriend!)

I'm non-UK, and driving lessons are compulsory here, but I'll certainly be taking the passenger seat and letting my kids get all the practise they can when they're learning to drive - no point spending on an instructor for that.

Of course you can if you feel confident enough to do it! My dad took me out a few times and I felt much more comfortable going with him than a driving instructor!

Of course you can, I did with my DS and he passed 1st time. This was during Covid when you couldn't find a driving instructor, we had a test date and weren't willing to lose it.
The is a website that tells you the pass rate for each test centre, we chose one an extra 10 minutes away with a 12% higher pass rate. There are apps and YouTube videos that cover the routes that your test centre use and point out junctions/hazards that often trip people up.
Hammer home the importance of using mirrors and get some instructors mirrors for your side of the car.
Good luck.

You can do the bulk of it if you want to, but she will really benefit from having at least some lessons with a proper instructor.

There are little things that you have to do to pass your test which in practice when driving you forget, an instructor will be strict on those whereas you may not even realise she isn’t doing them.

There is also the fact that the instructor knows the different local test routes meaning they can prepare her for the exact roads, junctions etc that will come up on the actual test.

Finally though there is the glaring safety issue as others have mentioned, instructor cars have dual control, which doesn’t just keep you safe it keeps other drivers safe. Respectfully, you have absolutely no idea how she will be able to react in an emergency situation, if someone cuts her off last minute, someone goes into the wrong lane on a roundabout, the first time she is on a 70mph road needing to merge/change lanes/use a slip road, she stalls on a hill start and can’t get the biting point with panic etc… there’s so so many situations where it really is imperative for the safety of EVERYONE on the road that the instructor is able to assist to avoid an accident using their controls at least until some confidence is built up.

Exaggerated movements was one of the most important things my instructor taught me - make sure that the tester sees that you're looking in your mirror.

Oh, and wiping out my motorbike instincts... that's how I failed the first time, driving my car the way I'd drive my bike - I suspect that'll be OP's daughter's issue, if she's a motor racer, then she'll have habits that she'll need to break/override for road driving.

DH is a driving instructor. You don't, by law, need an instructor. He also doesn't like taking people on for one or 2 lessons as he has to unteach bad habits, a fail goes on his record, and he doesn't have steady income.

I think the old rule was an hours lesson per year old. I know in case of my 2 ds that wasn’t enough with instructor. We did a lot , like many parents do, of making them drive us to places, and generally taking them out

one thing that I think did help a lot initially, was getting them used to clutch control and steering. We had a largish drive and I spent a lot of time in first few weeks sitting in car with them saying right back the boot into that space, put the bonnet over there, pararrel park into that space. They got a lot from figur8ng around really good clutch control and moving steering wheel fast (I used to say slow feet fast hands) at very low speeds to get them confident

I also remembering taking my youngest to a busy supermarket car park on a Saturday just before his test, to get him to manoeuvre carefully with traffic coming at him in all directions, and parking into tight spots. We were doing really well until this old codger decided to try to “help” by shouting instructions at him through his driver window. No amount of telling him to go away and leave son alone would work. Had to drive off to another supermarket as damn guy was following us around . 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

I think you can do an enormous amount to help , but like others I’d get at least 6 lessons . I learnt they teach people to dive differently from when I learnt around things like hand break use. Tbh I found it a bit scary how they’re taught these days 😱🤷🏼‍♀️🤣. But I learnt in 80s and sons were leaning in around 2010s .and now of course a lot of cars have auto hand breaks and engine stops while waiting, so it different again.

My DH and my Dad just taught DD how to drive, she had 5 or 6 lessons with an instructor spread out over the year too just to make sure she was up to scratch and he took her over the two different test routes they use so she’d be ready for either.

Dad & DH taught her in her own car but she did the lessons and test in the instructors car.

Im not sure if it’s different here in Aus to UK but we do theory test when you turn 16 and then you can go for your provisional license once you turn 17 if you have 100 driving hours in your log book plus 20 night time hours. A one hour lesson with an instructor counts for 3 hours in your log book which helps get your hours up.

That's such a good idea, unfortunately our area has a much lower than average 1st tims pass rate as its a busy city with loads of complicated bits but the next test centre was half hour drive away so DS couldn't do that area in his lessons. We could have taken him ourselves if we had thought of it.

I guess in a way its good to pass in a hard area as that's where they'll be driving loads but many kids worry so much in tests but are good drivers overall. DS failed first time (we almost lodged a complaint as the examiner did something wrong) but he managed to get a test a couple of weeks later and passed with no minors that time.

I am dreading going through it with DS2, it's so stressful!

We have no guidelines in the UK really, our friend from Australia was staying here recently and I thought it sounded like a great way of ensuring kids are ready.

Of course. Dh and I taught ds1. We went to some big open places with no one else around and taught him the basics, clutch control, how to park. Back and forth we went. Then roundabouts, hill starts. Then he had a few driving lessons, whilst we both continued to take him out practising weekly, and he passed. It baffles me why anyone wouldn't do this, if you have the time and confidence.

Wow so quite different then!

DD was really confident by the time her test came around because of all the practise hours she’d done which was great because she gets major exam anxiety usually!

My dd turned 17 in 2020 and her tips would be to watch lots of YouTube driving instructor videos. Apparently there’s loads of excellent content and she’s usually very cynical. She could only have lessons with her dad and passed first time. The test routes were available online and people at school discussed things like which difficult junctions or triple roundabouts they hoped to avoid.

My Ds is currently 17 and learning with his dad. His test is next month so we will see if he passes but he refused a professional instructor.

There’s currently a 6 month wait for practical tests. I booked a theory the day after ds 17th birthday then booked his practical as soon as he passed the theory.

Mine first went out to practice early morning when there was minimal traffic. It’s the only time that they didn’t moan about being up early at the weekend.

Plus they have videos for the test sites most common routes. Watch those. Then drive them. That really helps. You know which bits are tricky and what they are testing you for / how to not fail the hard bits.

And drive the route the day before your test just to remind you. Ds had a roundabout, speed to 50, then down to 30. He said after the test that he was so glad he'd done it the day before.

It’s not the driving that’s the hard part. How well do you know your Highway Code? Signs? Do you know the correct way to hold the gearstick, the steering wheel, the approved way to do manoeuvres? Are you familiar with local test routes and the difficult junctions they tend to encounter ? Do you have any bad habits you might accidentally pass onto your child (lots of people drive with their hand on the gear stick, don’t check their mirrors enough etc), do you know how to explain and teach roundabouts, lanes, road rules?
my husband is a driving instructor. I would recommend a few lessons (10 hours perhaps) and lots of practice with you.
you’d be surprised how many students come to him “test ready” and just need someone to take them to the test or a few refresher lessons - only for him to pick up bad habits and faults they do repeatedly and need 10+ hours of tuition before test.
even a “minor” if repeated a few times becomes a serious and a test fail.

The time, the confidence and the space. There’s nowhere local to us that you can reliably practise driving. Also I found taking DD out for practice simultaneously deadly dull and slightly terrifying. But she did do lots of practice with us after an intensive course.

If you don’t have lessons I’d say the main thing to look out for is the local test routes and any quirks they have. DD failed a test in the next city over (where we’d booked cos of availability) on a stretch she’d have known about if she’d had lessons there.

My dad taught me to drive, passed test with only 1 minor (didn't go when someone flashed me out). He's super calm and patient though so it worked well. We used to go out for 2 plus hours a time so I built up a lot of experience.

Judging the quality of the learner drivers/instructors round here I can well see DH teaching our DC when the time comes.

In your circumstances, I'd get a few lessons straight away to make sure they know what they are doing, but the hours of practice it takes to learn, definitely do yourself.

We did this with both our DC's and it really helped.

I do maintain however, that teaching your child to drive is the absolute worst bit of parenting, having to calmly say, so what do you think you could have done differently? Whilst lodged in a hedge and not scream at them for nearly killing you is some challenge! (This was the eldest, youngest was a breeze!)

I have an advanced driver qualification. I will take out my son, but I wouldn't be able to get him to test standard, been bloody years since I did my standard test.
Absolutely let your child with you whenever you can though, great for general road exposure and learning how to navigate situations.

Oh yes. Ds1 had to get out and lift the bonnet first for the instructor. And some examiners, round here anyway, use a satnav section as part of the test. I didn't know that, until I looked it up. Things change. Make sure you and dd are up to speed on your areas latest techniques and rules.

Can you teach her to drive? Yes.

can you teach her to pass her test with no lessons? 100% no.