Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New Lodger - Need a rant

87 replies

InstantDestiny · 01/01/2024 20:31

Please be kind, I need a bit of a hand hold tbh.

So new lodger moved in NYE eve.

Got references but it’s very quickly transpired that he’s actually off on long term sick as he’s relapsed, in a nutshell.

He’s in recovery from alcohol and has been drinking and using crack all over Xmas ( he told me this after he moved in and I kind of guessed anyway as used to work in this field and have had my own issues).

Last night he was about but drank a huge amount (of my booze - which is fine) and was all over the place.

I smoke but never in my house (as I hate the smell/my house and clothes stinking of it) which he is aware of and I woke up to basically him having smoked in his bedroom all night and the house absolutely stinking. He also smokes roll ups which remind me of that addiction small and NHS’s not changed his clothes or showered since last Thursday.

So that “addict” smell along with the cigarette smell it drifting into the rest of the house. He has also payed me less than half of the deposit as he changed moving in day.

I have addressed the smoking and told him it’s totally unacceptable under any circumstances and if he uses illegal drugs here he will have to leave.

He has apologised saying he’s in a bad place but it’s put me in an anxious, shit place at the beginning of a new year where I have had my own issues.

ARGH.

OP posts:
tsmainsqueeze · 01/01/2024 20:34

Get rid ,if this is after 1 day what else is he going to do ?
You will never be able to relax in your own home while he is there.

Catza · 01/01/2024 20:34

Ask him to move out. I can’t see it going well. How much notice are you obliged to give according to your lodger agreement?

Sparklesocks · 01/01/2024 20:36

I think you need to get him out - this might be his best behaviour. It’s awful he’s relapsed but also not your responsibility to manage that in your home

Greenshake · 01/01/2024 20:37

And all this has happened in 24 hours? And he hasn’t paid full deposit? Get shot, this had got disaster all over it. I would consider changing the locks too.

Passingthethyme · 01/01/2024 20:37

Tell him to leave, not your problem

ManateeFair · 01/01/2024 20:37

Aside from his horrific behaviour, he hasn’t even paid you the full deposit. He needs to leave immediately.

Ilikewinter · 01/01/2024 20:37

Get him out now - this will only get worse. Are you really going to trust him being in your house all day every day, especially when your not there?.

sesquipedalian · 01/01/2024 20:37

He needs to leave. End of. I’d also be following up on those references - did he write them himself? If he’s off on long term sick, are you really happy to leave him in the house on his own? You really don’t need this in your life.

Calamitousness · 01/01/2024 20:38

Get him out your house now. You owe him nothing. He’s not paid you as per contract so fuck him off now. Get your keys off him and tell him to leave tomorrow. The longer you leave this the worse it will become and the harder it will be to get rid of him. He can present as homeless to council tomorrow.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 01/01/2024 20:38

You need to throw him out immediately. If he's willing to take action to find himself another place I might give him a week to sort it out, but I think there's a high chance you're going to have to get the police to remove him anyway. He's lied to you and massively taken advantage of you. You owe him nothing. Get rid asap.

Ohtobetwentytwo · 01/01/2024 20:39

Bin him asap.

readingmakesmehappy · 01/01/2024 20:40

He is not fit to be your lodger

RowanMayfair · 01/01/2024 20:41

He needs to leave immediately. You don't have to give anything other than 'reasonable notice' and for an addict who stole from you (why is it 'fine' that he drank your alcohol? It's not fine) reasonable is tomorrow morning. Where are your boundaries?!

Branleuse · 01/01/2024 20:42

I know the addict smell. It's unmistakable. You have to get him out.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 01/01/2024 20:43

This isn’t going to work. He needs to go ASAP:

Alicewinn · 01/01/2024 20:52

Yes, I think it’s best if he goes.
imagine how relaxed you feel once he’s gone and you have your house back to yourself. There are plenty of lodgers around who don’t have all these issues and you can enjoy sharing with

TurkeyTwizlers · 01/01/2024 20:53

Get rid. Where was he before?

BrimfulOfMash · 01/01/2024 20:55

He drank a vat of your drink (of what value?) and hasn’t even paid full deposit?

Come on OP.

Presumably you took a lodger because you need the cash. Can he afford the rent? Is he off sick on full pay, SSP, or benefits? Unless it’s full pay he deceived you.

CozyWinterDuvet · 01/01/2024 20:55

He needs to leave. Tell him it isn’t working out and he has to go. It will get harder the longer you leave it.

Genericusername3 · 01/01/2024 20:58

Did he even ask if he could drink your alcohol or did he just take it?

Salome61 · 01/01/2024 21:00

So sorry, he's not a keeper is he.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 01/01/2024 21:02

Please don’t be a pushover op. I am an experienced lodger-haver and this is so far beyond acceptable lodger behaviour.
Lodgers pay less rent than people in their own place and the flip side of that is that they have to behave in a more restrained way for it to work. If he’s not capable of that he can’t live that way and it is not your responsibility.

LividCake · 01/01/2024 21:02

Luckily I don’t think lodgers have rights like tenants. He needs to go.

Do you have someone to back you up when you tell him to leave? Be firm. You don’t owe him anything and every minute he’s there he’s dragging you into his drama.

KissyMissy · 01/01/2024 21:04

Get. Him. Gone!

TulipCat · 01/01/2024 21:04

You have no reason to be tolerant of this behaviour. Ask him to leave.