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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New Lodger - Need a rant

87 replies

InstantDestiny · 01/01/2024 20:31

Please be kind, I need a bit of a hand hold tbh.

So new lodger moved in NYE eve.

Got references but it’s very quickly transpired that he’s actually off on long term sick as he’s relapsed, in a nutshell.

He’s in recovery from alcohol and has been drinking and using crack all over Xmas ( he told me this after he moved in and I kind of guessed anyway as used to work in this field and have had my own issues).

Last night he was about but drank a huge amount (of my booze - which is fine) and was all over the place.

I smoke but never in my house (as I hate the smell/my house and clothes stinking of it) which he is aware of and I woke up to basically him having smoked in his bedroom all night and the house absolutely stinking. He also smokes roll ups which remind me of that addiction small and NHS’s not changed his clothes or showered since last Thursday.

So that “addict” smell along with the cigarette smell it drifting into the rest of the house. He has also payed me less than half of the deposit as he changed moving in day.

I have addressed the smoking and told him it’s totally unacceptable under any circumstances and if he uses illegal drugs here he will have to leave.

He has apologised saying he’s in a bad place but it’s put me in an anxious, shit place at the beginning of a new year where I have had my own issues.

ARGH.

OP posts:
puddypud · 02/01/2024 00:17

What's the timeline on this situation OP? It's quite confusing.

Cherrysoup · 02/01/2024 00:20

Get rid, you don’t need the temptation and he’s wrecking your house and has lied about his history. Not what you need.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 02/01/2024 00:23

Get rid!! Christ you do not have to live like this, give him notice asap.

QueenBitch666 · 02/01/2024 00:35

Get rid. He's a potential squatter

ChaoticCrumble · 02/01/2024 00:37

He needs to go. He hasn’t even paid so get rid as soon as possible

SD1978 · 02/01/2024 00:38

He needs out at and immediately. He will not help your own sobriety and has already underpaid you.

Hmindr68 · 02/01/2024 06:07

A new place should have been a great chance for fresh start for him, surely. Instead he’s pissed all over your rules immediately. You’re NOT entertaining him staying, are you? Are you just needing a rant in the period before you’re able to remove him and change locks?

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/01/2024 06:36

Get rid of him now. Your oxygen mask on first. You’re potentially jeopardising your future if he tempts you to relapse.

mottytotty · 02/01/2024 06:42

He needs to move out asap. His addiction issues are not your problem, don’t fall into saviour mode.

Last night he was about but drank a huge amount (of my booze - which is fine) and was all over the place.

This is a huge issue. Did he have permission? If not it was theft and indicative of his character.

Get him out, OP!

Ladyof2022 · 02/01/2024 06:55

GreatGateauxsby · 01/01/2024 21:30

write off the stolen alcohol- which is NOT okay

Tell him you are sorry for his troubles
Take the keys off
tell him he has 6 hours to pack
Give him all the money back

Call the police if needed

then
Take stock and work out how you let this happen / why your boundaries are so poor.
Vet your lodgers better.

Edited

As a house share owner with 25 years experience of lodgers I endorse this reply.

Ladyof2022 · 02/01/2024 07:01

Two pieces of advice. Firstly the police will not come and remove him, but do not let him know this, because you may have to use the threat of them ejecting him to get him out.

Secondly I can help you to draw up a contract for his replacement. You need to have a set of house rules which a potential roommate has to read, agree with, and sign to say they will keep to the rules.

Within these written rules you must put that if you want them to leave you will give them two weeks notice, however if they are being ejected for a serious breach of the rules, then they must leave within three days.

cocktailanddreams · 02/01/2024 07:03

Have you developed a relationship with him prior? Wondering why you feel some sort of obligation to him

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