To be annoyed in laws ruined NY fireworks AGAIN!

[Baulin]

So every New Year’s Eve we go to my in laws and have a small get together. However every time the London fireworks start, since the first commentary in 2021, I have to endure a massive rant and rave about left wing agenda which completely ruins the atmosphere of the night. I was dreading the fireworks display last night because I knew all I’d hear from the family is complaining and talking over the show. As soon as I heard the same sex marriage part I thought “oh god here we go” and then the homophobic whining started. I was fuming because it just ruins it for me. It’s as though they’re unable to dislike something without feeling the need to comment on it.

Does anyone else find this annoying from family and do you say anything or just let it go over your head?

Ah yes! Quite right. My mistake.

Ah OK then OP that changes things, grin and bear it or don't go

I'd be slightly sloshed by that point and would turn some music on be singing and dancing. What's the point in having a NYE 'do' and then all quietly listening to the commentary on fireworks? You may as well be at home watching it in bed.
We were all singing auld lang syne at midnight, then carried on singing and dancing. The fireworks were on the telly, but nobody was listening. I'd suggest making the NYE party, more like an actual party next year. Not a telly watching snooze fest!

I voted YABU because obviously you can either choose not to go, or do go but watch the London fireworks on catch up

Commentary of any kind would annoy me, tbh. If I watched, I wouldn't want to hear someone else's thoughts on the past year, or the coming one, either. Why not just let people enjoy the fireworks and reflect in their own way on their own life?

You can be annoyed all you want, but you know what to expect. You can ignore it or stop going. Maybe suggest turning down the volume and playing music instead. I doubt they enjoy being annoyed by the commentary any more than you enjoy listening to their reactions.

Maybe go wearing a right-on slogan t shirt, drop into conversation that whatever gift you've brought them as hosts is from a gay business etc

Years ago at Christmas I said how lovely I thought it was Germany being more pro migrant especially as christmas, as its a chance to make you reconsider the haves and have-nots of life.

DH aunt went full on lemon face and spewed out pure racist bile. Lesson learned not to be too direct!

I'm paraphrasing but somebody recently posted that her strategy is to ask someone, "Is there anything that I could say that would change your mind? I know there's nothing you could say to change mind. If that's true for both of us, let's leave the topic alone."

It's something I'm trying out. I need to rehearse plans for somebody coming back with refusals or trampling on the boundary but it is useful.

"When you notice something ethically questionable, encounter offensive speech, or disagree with consensus opinion, speaking up can be hard to do. Most people tend to not act, and then rationalize their inaction. But you’re not really doing your job — as a diligent employee, compassionate colleague, or thoughtful leader — if you don’t lend your voice to the conversation. So what can you do? First, realize how just how psychologically difficult but worthwhile speaking up can be. Second, work to lessen the social threat that it creates, making it clear that you’re not out to get anyone. Third, make an if-then plan: if I see this, then I will do that."

https://hbr.org/2019/03/how-to-speak-up-when-it-matters?

I find a swift "Oh, just shut up for once, will you?" does the trick*.

*Okay fine, I've not said this but I imagine it'd be quite satisfying!

I can't help thinking I must be missing something here, but what is it about NYE fireworks that causes ILs to start their weird ranting? Surely their rants are not confined to NYE or do they think fireworks come with some sort of left wing agenda that particularly offends them?

I've never watched a NYE firework display, or any other fireworks come to that, but can't imagine it's NYE fireworks alone that bring out this particularly unpleasant side of ILs.

If you know that this is going to happen every year wouldn't it make more sense, and a pleasanter start to the new year, to watch the fireworks somewhere other than ILs' house?

Not sure I'd want to sit and listen to that every year if I'm honest.

The solution to this is staring you in the face - don't go!

But you like getting out and enjoy the hospitality they provide, so this is entirely a situation of your own choosing.

You can't say anything to them - they can express whatever views they want in their own house!

You have three options.

1 be like hubby and sing a little song in your head

2 get drunk

3 take Quietplace's sage advice and block the nonsense.

There's not much (legal at least) that you can do about family apart from moving far away, but now they have trains and shit.

yes you can choose not to go-its easy you say im not going lets stop in and watch them

Have your own "do".
Or go to theirs but really take them to task.
"DON'T tell me you have no gay friends in this day and age? You sound like you're 82, not 62!" etc. etc.

To be fair, the London fireworks has become quite irritating with its repetitive messages around certain topics. I just want to watch fireworks, not be lectured on diversity, the NHS etc.

Life hack: in fact, you can say no to visiting nasty, bigoted people. I wouldn't do it.

I also wouldn't sit there and listen to homophobic or racist crap without pushing back, whether I'm in their house or not.

They were in their own home.

I wouldn’t have entertained them/visited after the first time.
I hope your children/nephews/neices aren't subjected to this shit.

OP's in-laws are reacting to the BBC voiceover during the firework section; the voiceover listed various cultural changes over the last decade/beginning of the century.

I wasn't really paying attention to the TV at the time because we had a tense board game going, so I can't be more specific about last night's voiceover, or guess which bits irked her inlaws.

I honestly just wouldn't go. I don't see why you seem to think it something close to obligatory. It isn't.

Stay at home next year and do your own thing, or go away for a few days over New Year.

It's a bit odd isn't it. I was only half watching the TV but heard "same sex marriage" over the noise of the display. I don't get the context. What's it got to do with fireworks? Or London? If it was a major event of 2023 I could understand but it was made legal about 10 years ago. I'm sure there were the obligatory references to the NHS (Peace Be Upon It) but I was putting the bins out.

Same sex marriage ! That boat sailed, what, a decade ago?

I think I'd point out that they hadn't come up with any new conversation or opinions in 12 months, and they were boring the pants off me. Then I'd go home.

Go somewhere else next new year.

Not being in London, or anywhere nearby, we watched fireworks on TV with music not a commentary. Could you not silence the commentary or do you have subtitles on or is the message printed onscreen anyway? Or say that you want to play the display from Sydney/Edinburgh/anywhere else in the world.

Save yourself the bother and make other plans

RTFT please. I acknowledged this mistake above.

The op’s pils reacting to same sex marriage seems OTT but I agree on the odd way we can’t just have fireworks without selling stuff like the NHS in

Does anywhere else have the same I wonder

Aagh, sounds unpleasant. Do you really have to go to the ILs for NYE every year? Couldn't you just watch the fireworks at home? Or, if you must, invite them to yours: then at least you'd be freer to set limits on their talking over the TV at your home.