I can’t believe I’m looking forward to leaving Australia

[Skye909]

I moved to Queensland last year - well, I got a year long working holiday visa as a trial. I am living with a friend and I am working on a farm and my time is up in March.

I feel so guilty because I built it up as a time of a lifetime, I thought I’d end up staying and so many people would kill to be in my position. Plus there’s so much doom and gloom in the UK.

And yet… I’m looking forward to going home in March. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed it and had some amazing trips.

But there’s so much about home I miss. Being able to walk to places, the fast delivery of things (Amazon prime!), my friends and family, the food, even the tap water - just familiarity I guess.
All the bugs get me down, I’ve also noticed culture is different here. I tried a new hobby and the boys in particular weren’t very welcoming (apparently it’s just how they are).

I just thought a girl of my age (24) should have absolutely loved it. Become a beach girl, and do lots of adventures. I absolutely LONGED for this lifestyle at home and now the novelty has worn off. I burn quickly, it’s too hot, I have too much sand all over me etc.

Maybe I’m just not cut out to be happy? Maybe I’m too negative? I don’t know. I just feel so so so so so bad for not enjoying it. Plus I know so many other girls who moved out here who appear to be having the time of their lives and love it.

Am I entitled or silly?

You don't have to have lived a particular experience YOURSELF - to know it exists - and it happens... to other people...!

Good grief, open your mind a bit!

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A farm in Queensland or the Sunshine coast are specific experiences, not all Australia. Living in inner-city Sydney, Melbourne or Fremantle would be vastly different.

As a born and bred mixed raced Londoner, I co-sign Melbourne as the place to spend some time. Reminds me of London in places. I have not experienced racism there. My test for any new place is whether people bat an eyelid when you walk in. Nobody has done and I’ve been many times.

It’s cool as fuck and even has a beach. It feels like a place on the up and up. What’s not to love?

I spent 3 weeks in Sydney - part holiday, part business trip - last year, and was surprised how much I HATED it, even as a holiday destination! ...And I say that as someone who has travelled fairly extensively over the years.

I'd been really looking forward to the trip beforehand. My company has an office out there, and I'd always liked the idea of a transfer out there - even just for a couple of years - but having dipped my toe in...No way! I can't say I'll ever even feel the need to visit Australia again to be honest.

Australia is overrated. I was disappointed with my experience 20 odd years ago, and never had an urge to go back. There is so much more beauty in Europe, culture, history , scenery (Scandinavian) just about everything!!

Making statements of fact about how people behave in a country you've never been to, relative to the experience of immigrants to a country you've never been an immigrant in is pretty special, unless you've some kind of objective factual base to back it up?

I wouldn't presume to comment on the immigrant experience in Australia any more than I'd expect someone who'd lived their whole life in the UK to know what it's like to be an immigrant here and how people are treated. The alternative would be just a tiny bit arrogant.

Probably worth reflecting, though, in your expert statements on how welcoming various countries are to immigrants, than nearly twice the proportion of people living in Australia were born abroad than in Britain. That said, I'm not saying the country is perfect or that the immigrant experience is rosy, any more than I'd suggest that the majority in Britain (particularly in urbane areas) are anything but polite.

I moved abroad, have lived abroad for over forty years and love where I live, but there's a lot to be said for staying at home, near your family and teaching your children your community's traditions.

I think every journey is a learning experience.You have enjoyed yourself and found out what life is like on the other side of the world .Be proud of yourself! If you come home fine nothing lost,if you prefer to travel elsewhere that fine too .Nothing lost

Why can't you walk anywhere?

I suppose it depends where you are. A lot of places in Australia the distances are too big - like parts of America (and of course remote parts of the UK). You can’t walk to the nearest shop, you can’t walk to work, schools are maybe a forty minute drive.

I found America very much like this aswell. And Canada. Big suburbs with no close amenities.

@Bellyblueboy Ah I see thanks. I used to live in Turkey and there were no pavements so wondered if it was the same there

Maybe because people actually want to help the OP instead of making her feel even worse, as your comment might?

It's OK to not like the 20 something 'travel' lifestyle. It's also OK to decide that you don't like travel at all, or you prefer it another way. There's no reason to to carry on because everyone else insists it's the BEST THING EVER, you just need to try another country blah2. Which is why OP feels so guilty.

OP, I realised pretty early on this travelling with minimum wage part-time jobs. Not for me. I want to either travel properly or actually work/study in many different countries. Maybe because I don't like beaches blah2 but also love my creature comforts. I'm not from the UK so this is already 'abroad', but still.

I deliberately picked a shortage profession (meaning I'm welcome anywhere in the world, unlike a 20 something with very little money.. not every country has working holiday visas). My career also lends itself to contracting with high pay so I can take a little 3 month break between contracts to travel, as many of my peers do. Or take contracts in other countries!

There are plenty of who do similar, my wedding photographer for example has had many contracts worldwide but also travelled off-peak wedding season. Friends who are chefs, working on ships, etc all similar. Heck, even doctors and nurses, academics go for fellowships, training stints abroad, etc. With WFH many are also digital nomads and can work remote from anywhere in the world!

You've learnt more about yourself, that's great. Take some time to think about your next steps. If you love travelling then pick a career that aligns. If you don't, that's OK, if you want to try another country that's also OK.

Btw I know people say your 20's are for travelling but you can do both. Build a career that allows you to travel for a long time to come (yes, even with kids), or take a job that allows you to travel and build it. So many 'travel', then come back and settle down into a humdrum existence in their 30's. Which is sort of in my humble opinion contributes to the FOMO.. people telling you to 'do it now or you won't get the chance again' that's just BS.

You don't even have to make a decision now. There are also many people who never left home then moved abroad later in life. The world doesn't end and doors don't slam shut because you chose to come home in your twenties.

I thought even Aus people say the Sunshine Coast is lovely but very boring

I also think it depends on your personality. If you like beachy activities and surfing it can be great, if not, no.

The other thing about travel is you learn your likes/dislikes. Not all destinations suit everyone. No matter how beautiful a beach is I for example won't like it. I hate sand and I hate getting wet.
Give me a beautiful, ornate library any day.... cities with innumerable nooks and crannies.
I do like nature, hiking and the like but not enough to do it more than once weekly. I can spend days exploring cities though.
We all like different things.

Well done on admitting it’s not for you.

Good idea to travel round a bit.

That said, the politics is appalling, the media intolerable and there can be a very insular, parochial attitude from some people. If you fall in love with a place or situation within it, it can be overlooked but it's still there.

Interesting post and view points.

I'm on the other side having emigrated to australIa in later life after having been in my 20s and thinking it wasn't for me!

I still think England has much more to offer but I've made the best of my life here and can see the good and bad. I have many Europe born friends with a wide spectrum of views about the pros and cons of living here which proves to me there is no definitive answer.

And many of us have now adult children making their own decisions to stay or go!

Well, views definitely change as you get older. But also, countries change. What was once 'desirable' may not be so in several years, and vice versa.
Wise advice I received... the key is not to find the 'one dream place' and move there, job done. It's to understand how the world works, what you want and structure your life based on that.
We're lucky in that so much information and visibility of other people's paths is available. Although it can also cause guilt like in the OP when we don't enjoy what 'everyone else' seems to.

*soap box not related to the OP :)

I know all sorts, people who have moved abroad and back. People who never left the UK until their 50's but retired elsewhere. People who have lived in several different countries. It takes all sorts.

There are people who have never left their hometown but are open-minded. Equally 'world travellers' who have only become even more entrenched in their views. Open-mindedness is not about mindlessly travelling and consuming, it's about understanding, empathy, accepting new ways of looking at the world, growth and maturity. Quite a few people I know still have yet to develop that.

It's been a learning curve but now you're closer to what you want in life. Don't feel bad about it, if you're feeling low I'd just change ticket and go home now.

I don’t know why so many Aus threads today lol but my DD is in the Sunshine Coast now and it’s rained a lot, she doesn’t tell me that much but I think it can be a little boring at times. She is meant to be there 6 months but she might come home early, not sure yet. It’s cost her a fortune. I have to say though she has done activities she probably would never have done here, and doesn’t have to learn a new language which I think was the main attraction for her

This is my DD too lol, she is 19 and hated it here. I am not sure she or you really know what you want yet but you know, it was a good experience and brave of you to do it. I’m proud of my DD for doing it even if she just chalks it up to a life experience, it’s all got to be worth it

Sometimes you try things you think you will love and they just don't work out.

I was convinced I'd love living in Florida until I did it (having holidayed there multiple times before), and found that despite enjoying the sunshine and national parks and wildlife, living there just wasn't my jam. I also thought I would love being a digital nomad and gave that a few tries but that wasn't as great as I thought it'd be either. That's OK. I'd rather try things and know they were great experience that hadn't worked out like I hoped they would than always wonder "what if I'd done...".