I can’t believe I’m looking forward to leaving Australia

[Skye909]

I moved to Queensland last year - well, I got a year long working holiday visa as a trial. I am living with a friend and I am working on a farm and my time is up in March.

I feel so guilty because I built it up as a time of a lifetime, I thought I’d end up staying and so many people would kill to be in my position. Plus there’s so much doom and gloom in the UK.

And yet… I’m looking forward to going home in March. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed it and had some amazing trips.

But there’s so much about home I miss. Being able to walk to places, the fast delivery of things (Amazon prime!), my friends and family, the food, even the tap water - just familiarity I guess.
All the bugs get me down, I’ve also noticed culture is different here. I tried a new hobby and the boys in particular weren’t very welcoming (apparently it’s just how they are).

I just thought a girl of my age (24) should have absolutely loved it. Become a beach girl, and do lots of adventures. I absolutely LONGED for this lifestyle at home and now the novelty has worn off. I burn quickly, it’s too hot, I have too much sand all over me etc.

Maybe I’m just not cut out to be happy? Maybe I’m too negative? I don’t know. I just feel so so so so so bad for not enjoying it. Plus I know so many other girls who moved out here who appear to be having the time of their lives and love it.

Am I entitled or silly?

I lived in NZ for 6 years - loved it and am now dual national. However just like anywhere you end up living there are things I didn't like about NZ ( cold houses, not much annual leave, earthquakes, terrible maternity care, everything a long way away etc). I live back in the UK at the moment and i could also list things i don't like here - it's swings and roundabouts. The things I like about the UK are different to the things i like about NZ, but one isn't better than the other and i consider myself very lucky to now have another nationality and be able to move back whenever i want.

The first thing I thought ✅🤣

Don’t be so hard on yourself op! You have been doing exactly what you are meant to be doing in your twenties; which is trying things out and experimenting! No shame or guilt if you don’t like it. Bank the experience and move on!

This ^^

Sometimes you just don't gel with a place, the same applies even working at some companies. You gave it a go and it's not for you. Nothing wrong with that. Better to have tried it and it not worked out than for it to be a dream you never realise.

I never made it to Oz but I have lived abroad. I am glad I did it but I was glad to come home. As a pp said some of us are just homebodies and there is nothing wrong with that! A year on a farm in Queensland sounds like a great adventure you can look back on.

I agree with others . Leave where you are and go somewhere with a buzz . With life . Cafe work and socialise and see what else is out there .

When you come back to Uk you can also live somewhere else other than your home time .
Carch up with family and friends then decide on your next adventure . It’s not Australian or nothing it’s not and Australian farm or nothing either .

Exactly my experience too! I loved my time there but in the end just didn’t want to stay there permanently as I missed my family and friends too much and found the lifestyle in England was better for me.

A few years ago I went with dh and dc to Perth and had a fabulous time. Amazing part of the country and shame I didn’t go there when travelling last time.

Definitely try to visit some of the cities before you come home as there is so much more to Australia than the Gold Coast.

I agree with others suggestions about staying in other parts of Aus before heading home. I've lived in the US and travelled extensively in Australia as I had a relationship with an Australian - I don't think one location is representative of the whole country and I certainly wouldn't find Queensland to my liking for a long stay. Too hot and too many bugs. I think there are more appealing places. But in the end I felt Australia was too cut off from the rest of the world and the culture was not as eclectic as where I'm from back in the UK.

OP I’m Australian and I wouldn’t live in Qld. Lovely place for a holiday but I’m a city girl and can’t stand extreme heat. While you’re here why not have a look around a few other places.

This, 100%. And living in Melbourne is very different to Sydney too.

Not at all OP. I'm Australian (lived there for 27 years) and been back a few times. Much prefer life in the UK. Richer culture and history, better TV, seasons, proximity to Europe, diversity of culture here. Oz is great but quite vacuous, consumer driven and myopic when it comes to global events and politics. And summer (like winter in the UK) gets wearing after a few months and all you want is for the weather to cool down.

As socially unacceptable as it is to admit, some people just hate the beach/heat lifestyle ! Me being one of them. Living in Aus/NZ would not suit me. I did a six week trip round there in my 30's to see if it would suit and was glad to come home.

There are other places to try if you want to work/live abroad. Maybe look into one of them?

I think that's the point of a working visa. Go away for an adventure, new experiences and visiting a different culture. Loads of people, including myself, did it and had a fabulous time time before coming back. Enjoy and return enriched and happy to be home.

It's just not the place for you and that's FINE.

A year long trip is bound to have it's ups and downs. Try to chalk every bit up to experience and make the most before you head back.

Everything you've described is my idea of hell. The heat, the bugs... We're all different!

Iv heard so much about the misogyny over there from so many people think that itself would put me off. Sounds like you too experienced that OP

.Anyway you tried it- you didn’t like it! Don’t feel bad! I do think maybe your experience in Queensland might not be properly representative of Australia but tbf sounds like you miss the UK and it took this experience to gain an appreciation for it. People love to bash the UK but I feel like they don’t realise how good wev got it (grass is always greener).

Why do you think London is full of young Aussies and Kiwis? They know where its at!

OP the purpose of travel isn’t to find somewhere you like better than home. It’s to experience new places, people, ways of life, cultures etc. Sometimes travellers will decide to stay in a new place, but mostly they prefer to come home. That doesn’t diminish the experience. It’s still a great thing to have done.
And for what it’s worth, I constantly hear about how amaaaazing Australia is because of the beaches. Well yeah, beaches are lovely, but everything gets boring after a while. We associate beaches with summer holidays, so they take on this sort of mythical brilliance, but ultimately if you see something every day the novelty wears off.

Exactly this.

its a big big world out there, and you are exploring it. Some places will be like a second home, some won’t.

think if it the other way - why would you automatically love a country on the other side of the world?

you are an individual - and you have learnt something about yourself. You will chat about this at dinner parties in years to come. Why you didn’t go with the masses!

I know I would hate to live in some places (Dubai and Singapore for example). I love visiting Boston and New York and have returned many times, but don’t want to live there. i Even worked on Boston for six months - the everyday work culture was not for me, and I was happy to get home.

being well travelled means having opinions on different places - you won’t want to live everywhere you visit😊.

My friend tried it twice as she married an Australian but absolutely hated it, very happy back in the UK!

Your shit goes with you wherever you are- going somewhere new doesn’t in itself make
you happier.

My cousin moved to Oz as his wife is from there, he is settled and they had 3 kids out there but he says at the end of the day it’s not like a holiday- work is work, money worries, relationship, family stresses etc all still exist in the sun. It’s not automatically better.

Everyone else I know that went over came
home at some point, I had a work colleague who went for 3 years as her DH was offered a job on a specific fixed term project. They had 2 primary aged kids. We all thought they would stay but they came back after the 3 years, had a lovely time but missed the UK. That really surprised me.

I’m a complete homebody so I know I’d hate it. I like it here (I did travel in my youth though as it was the done thing. I didn’t love any of it).

Most people in most countries don’t live the movie cliche version of life in that country.
See ‘Notting Hill’ for young people living a carefree life around a cool market in a trendy area of London based on a job in retail.

Anyway most working holiday makers wouldn’t qualify for residence so it’s only designed to be a year or two to travel and work. Get travelling!

Does your husband call himself a boy?

Rather a sexist assumption for a self-confessed feminist.

If you have some funds it could be good to travel around to see more of the country, and/or a stop on return before you return to the UK.

It sounds like it's your particular experiences which sucked, rather than the two countries themselves - although perhaps heat, bugs and unfriendliness are an intrinsic part of living in Aus rather than just you being unlucky. (Haven't been to Aus personally, so obviously I can't say for sure.)

Last September I was harvesting grapes just outside the Burgundy region. It was a beautiful organic vineyard surrounded by stunning wildflowers, and on a clear day you could see Mont Blanc. Sounds great, huh? Except that it was back- breaking low paid insecure work, sometimes in rain and mud, some (not all) of the other pickers were rude scumbags, and the two young black team members had to put up with disgusting racist banter (which I felt bad about not calling out, but my French wasn't good enough to realise what was going on at the time). So, same as for you, the Instagram/Sunday supplement version of "living and working abroad" is not the whole truth - which everyone knows, but the full suckiness of the situation doesn't become apparent until you're stuck in the middle of it.

The solution is partly to find somewhere nicer (easier said than done) but more than that, to improve your own situation so that you're in a position to benefit from the lovely beaches, vineyards, whatever, as a proper paying tourist. It always sucks to be exploited, sweated unskilled labour, so maybe save the globetrotting until you can afford to be a fancy tourist having guided tours of farms rather than breaking your back working on them, and focus on your career and savings goals until that point.

You sound smart and self aware, definitely not entitled.