I can’t believe I’m looking forward to leaving Australia

[Skye909]

I moved to Queensland last year - well, I got a year long working holiday visa as a trial. I am living with a friend and I am working on a farm and my time is up in March.

I feel so guilty because I built it up as a time of a lifetime, I thought I’d end up staying and so many people would kill to be in my position. Plus there’s so much doom and gloom in the UK.

And yet… I’m looking forward to going home in March. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed it and had some amazing trips.

But there’s so much about home I miss. Being able to walk to places, the fast delivery of things (Amazon prime!), my friends and family, the food, even the tap water - just familiarity I guess.
All the bugs get me down, I’ve also noticed culture is different here. I tried a new hobby and the boys in particular weren’t very welcoming (apparently it’s just how they are).

I just thought a girl of my age (24) should have absolutely loved it. Become a beach girl, and do lots of adventures. I absolutely LONGED for this lifestyle at home and now the novelty has worn off. I burn quickly, it’s too hot, I have too much sand all over me etc.

Maybe I’m just not cut out to be happy? Maybe I’m too negative? I don’t know. I just feel so so so so so bad for not enjoying it. Plus I know so many other girls who moved out here who appear to be having the time of their lives and love it.

Am I entitled or silly?

It’s nae for abody. Friend of mine not one person thought would cut it there - thriving in a career nobody ever thought possible. The other who was supposedly made for Oz couldn’t hack it - that’s with her employer sponsoring her visa/citizenship (not totally sure so dinna come at me for calling it the wrong thing) got her right to stay then gave it all up.

I backpacked around Oz at your age. I loved it, it's a fantastic country with great people, but that doesn't mean it suits everyone. It's not a failing of you or Oz that you are happy to keep the experience as a wonderful gap year.

Maybe try a different part of Australia to make the most of your visa until it runs out? There are different climates and lifestyles as it is such a vast country!

Maybe your expectations were just too high OP? It's fine not to want to stay there forever. It probably doesn't help that it's just so very, very far away.

Dh’s old aunt still called her bridge-playing cronies ‘the girls’ when she was in her 80s.😂

Be proud that your tried and were brave enough to go and admit it's not for you.

I went on internaitonal placement and hated every minute I was there, it was an opportunity of a lifetime but it just wasn't for me. Not all things suit all people.

You've had an great experience. It's reinforced what you do and don't like. It's time to come home for the next chapter of your life and enjoy everything you've mentioned....and more!

Gosh, that's such a shame. I'm so sorry your dream wasn't what you thought it was. As the old adage goes... 'There's no place like home..' and never a truer word was spoken. I love going on holiday abroad but am always so glad to return.

I'd quite like to visit Australia, but there's no amount of money in the world you could pay me to go and live there - not only because of the heat and the bugs, but because it's way, way, way too far away. It literally is the other side of the world. I would only move somewhere that far away if I had no-one in the UK who meant anything to me.

And you can say goodbye to your family and friends - if you stay forever -because you will rarely ever see them again - unless you can literally afford to come and visit 3 or 4 times a year, which most people can't.

I know it's horrifically expensive there in the cities. I also know a number of people over the last decade or so who've moved over there and actually bitterly regretted it. They were sold a dream of what it's like on 'neighbours' and 'home and away' - of all the sunshine and beaches and the surfing and the watersports, and this dream life and hot country .... And it turned out to be a damp squib.

They have no surplus money, they are in debt, they are lonely, they have no friends, they have no family there, and they hate their job. Some people have lives entrenched there, and have married an Australian and had kids there and they can't leave because the kids are Australian, and they can't take them to the UK without the spouse's permission.

Some people even go on holiday there for a few weeks and think it's a dream place, and think living there will be the same as being on holiday there! But people are being nice and courteous and pleasant to you when you're a visitor because you're their bread and butter ...

When you're actually there as a citizen living there it's different. They don't HAVE to be nice. Some will see you as taking their jobs, maybe even taking one of their homes. Many people are not quite so welcoming when you are not a tourist, but attempting to make Australia your home. Look how (some) people treat people from other countries over here. Australia is worse.

As I said, I think I would only actually move to somewhere that far away permanently if I had nobody in this country I cared about .. I would actually be absolutely devastated if any of my two adult children said they were moving to Australia, because I know that would be goodbye to the relationship.

Some people will disagree. But that is what happens to most. Maybe a few people do make it work, but the vast majority of people I know whose families moved abroad, can't keep the relationship going. Some struggle with just a couple of hundred miles!

Welcome back home anyway @Skye909 . I hope you'll find what you're looking for in this country. No matter what people say about the UK and it does have its problems, there's nowhere in the world I would rather live. I fucking love my country. Call me a flag shagger or whatever you want. IDGAF. I love my country - The United Kingdom. All of it.

Life in Australia wasn't for me either. We go back regularly to visit family which just reinforces the decision to leave was the right one.

Yes, me too.

Definitelt visit Sydney and Melbourne before going back. I found Melbourne the most fun.

One of the great things about being 24, is the freedom to do stuff like this, realise it's not for you, and back-track.

It's a wise lesson in "the grass isn't always greener."

And I'm totally with you on the bugs. I hate all insects as well. Even harmless little summer flies. Fuck off, you buzzy little bugger.

I'd love to go to Aus. I think it would be a proper adventure. But I don't think I could live there. I don't do well in heat, I like rain and snow. I like the dark. I love autumn/winter. I'd like to try living somewhere like Sweden.

It's OK not to have enjoyed something the way you think you should have. It's ok to be different to the other 24 year old you're seeing there. If everyone was the same, the world wouldn't work properly.

You're right there's a lot of doom and gloom here in the UK at the moment, but there's a lot of good aspects to the country too. Same everywhere. Aus has a different outlook to the UK, it seems better, sunnier, etc. But it also has the bugs, the heat and is expensive. Love what you love, live where you're happy. You do you.

As my dh says, nice view, same shit. The novelty of a new place wears off as soon as you have to start working and paying bills. I lived for many years with a twinkling Eiffel Tower at my workplace window. After the first month or two, I stopped seeing it. Everything is window dressing if the essentials aren’t right.
You are lucky - you already know a lot of what you don’t want. Keep moving and you will begin to draw up a list of things that you require ( sort of like Location, Location , Location but without the houses). You’ll find your place.

Don’t be so hard on yourself op! You have been doing exactly what you are meant to be doing in your twenties; which is trying things out and experimenting! No shame or guilt if you don’t like it. Bank the experience and move on!

Another reposting this, it’s spot on. I travelled and lived abroad when I was young - some places I loved, others didn’t suit me at all but it was all an adventure and life experience. It’s really good to have these experiences if and while you can, and there is absolutely nothing to feel bad about that you didn’t particularly love a place or that you miss home.

One thing travel has made me understand is the importance of your home culture and having a place where you feel at home and understood. It’s the norm to laugh about Britishness, or have some kind of shame about it, and saying you’re happy or proud to be British is seen as a bit suspect, but I’ve learned that actually I do like being British and I like a lot of things about our culture and it’s not all bad.

And as others have said you were brave to go. Lots of 24yos wouldn’t be that outward-looking or independent.

Lastly don’t worry that you used “girl”, I do get the arguments against it but you’re 24 and it’s pretty normal usage especially in your 20s. What matters more is who you are and that you understand yourself, and you sound like you’re doing great.

I think to love a place in a way that truly feels like home, you need a community, friends, a network. Those things take time to build, obviously, no matter how objectively suited to you the physical place is. We all need our tribe, and I think it takes about 3 years for that to really happen in my experience. Obviously some places are better suited to finding a tribe for each person than others! Maybe this place really isn't for you. But I do think the place is only ever going to be half the story of loving somewhere. The other half will be the people.

I lived in Australia for a couple of years. It was a great experience (despite the spiders) and I visited some amazing places but I was ready to come home at the end. I lived in four different countries after that. All were great but my heart was always in the UK despite its shortcomings.

I lived in anerica for some time and I felt the exact same way. I missed the tea. The pls fix shopping bags!

the list goes on 😂

@MrsTwatInAHat

One thing travel has made me understand is the importance of your home culture and having a place where you feel at home and understood. It’s the norm to laugh about Britishness, or have some kind of shame about it, and saying you’re happy or proud to be British is seen as a bit suspect, but I’ve learned that actually I do like being British and I like a lot of things about our culture and it’s not all bad.

Yeah this. Nothing wrong at ALL in being proud to be British, or ENGLISH. No-one else in the world gets the same shit for being proud of their own culture as the English do. Even other English people bash the English for being proud of being English - which really boils my piss.

Everyone else the world over is allowed to be proud of what and who they are, but if you're English and you do it, you're a flag shagger, or a bigot, or gammon. Does my head in. And the more people bash people who are proud of being English - or British - the more I will shout about how proud I am.

Lastly don’t worry that you used “girl”, I do get the arguments against it but you’re 24 and it’s pretty normal usage especially in your 20s.

Did someone have a go at the OP for saying she's a 24 y.o. girl? Good grief, there is always one! FFS!

Horses for courses, OP. My DD moved out to Melbourne at the same age as you. She's now an Australian citizen with a VERY good job and no plans at all to come back to the UK for more than extended holidays. It suits her. It doesn't suit you. But you've had the experience, which is more than a lot of people your age, and you'll look back on it more fondly as you get older.

Many people are not quite so welcoming when you are not a tourist, but attempting to make Australia your home. Look how (some) people treat people from other countries over here. Australia is worse.

An interesting perspective from someone who has never been to Australia or lived as an immigrant in the UK... 😂😂😂

Australia isn’t the UK but with sunshine.

You’ve had an adventure, now you can come home. You can always spend a few weeks as a holiday there every so often.

Proud is such a weird concept to me when it comes to nationality. I’m English. I know I’m lucky to have been born here, but it was just chance. Any inventions or cool stuff regarding history have nothing to do with me, I didn’t contribute to it, but it’s cool to read about.

I'm lucky to have been born in a prosperous country, with non extreme weather. I’ve had access to education and can live quite freely, things that make it easier for Britons to be industrious and wealthy. But I didn’t do anything to achieve that, other than try to maintain it through my voting choices.

My DH is Australian (Victorian) and he feels the same about there. Thinks it strange people being overly nationalistic. There are people over there complaining that ‘Aussies can’t show pride’. It’s not true. You can see with events like Olympics that inclusive nationalism is looked upon positively. It’s the exclusive type people are justifiably uneasy about.

Not read many PPs but have you been to Melbourne - can you see other places before you leave?

Try Melbourne for the last 8 weeks. My cousins and a good friend live there and love it. Much more European they say.