I can’t believe I’m looking forward to leaving Australia

[Skye909]

I moved to Queensland last year - well, I got a year long working holiday visa as a trial. I am living with a friend and I am working on a farm and my time is up in March.

I feel so guilty because I built it up as a time of a lifetime, I thought I’d end up staying and so many people would kill to be in my position. Plus there’s so much doom and gloom in the UK.

And yet… I’m looking forward to going home in March. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed it and had some amazing trips.

But there’s so much about home I miss. Being able to walk to places, the fast delivery of things (Amazon prime!), my friends and family, the food, even the tap water - just familiarity I guess.
All the bugs get me down, I’ve also noticed culture is different here. I tried a new hobby and the boys in particular weren’t very welcoming (apparently it’s just how they are).

I just thought a girl of my age (24) should have absolutely loved it. Become a beach girl, and do lots of adventures. I absolutely LONGED for this lifestyle at home and now the novelty has worn off. I burn quickly, it’s too hot, I have too much sand all over me etc.

Maybe I’m just not cut out to be happy? Maybe I’m too negative? I don’t know. I just feel so so so so so bad for not enjoying it. Plus I know so many other girls who moved out here who appear to be having the time of their lives and love it.

Am I entitled or silly?

Also you’re a grown woman, stop calling yourself a “girl”. It’s infantilising.

I’m not surprised - I live in Australia and even I wouldn’t enjoy working on a farm on the Sunshine Coast. It’s nice for a holiday up there but there isn’t that much to do.
In the same way if I lived in the U.K. on a boring housing estate somewhere I wouldn’t necessarily write off the whole of the U.K.
Think about what you enjoy doing and where you want to be - could be the U.K., Europe, other parts of Aus. While you’re young and don’t have family ties you can get out there and find the things you really like doing.

I’ve never been to Australia but I suspect this^ one is true. It’s very specific type of adventure you’ve had and you haven’t like it, fine.
It doesn’t mean UK is your only option however maybe it is a best place for you, what’s wrong with that?

Don’t feel bad-you went and lived in another country-you are brave and all the new skills you have from doing that add to who you are. You now know you can go anywhere and survive-whether that’s the UK or Outer Mongolia! You can still have adventures and travel-just maybe not for a year at a time. Don’t regret it-realise how much you achieved just by going and enjoy the last few weeks before coming home.

Sometimes you just know when it's time to come home. I bet you'll look back on your time in Aus fondly. Independent travel when you're young is a gift. You're only 24, I'm sure you'll have more travel adventures - give it a few months of being home and you'll have itchy feet again!

I think when you look back on it, say in 10 years' time, you'll realise you did have a good time overall. At the moment your perspective is clouded by homesickness but in future this will stand out as a memorable era in your life and you'll be really glad you did it.

I know quite a few people who went to Australia or New Zealand in their 20s thinking they'd stay there forever but found it wasn't for them and came back after a year or so. I only know one person who stayed, and she had fallen in love with an Australian which is what kept her there long term, but I know she still misses her parents, siblings and their families back in the UK very much too. The main thing is that you tried it and you will always have that time to look back on, and the experience will have shaped you too.

I'm from UK but lived in Australia for about ten years in the 90s.

Enjoyed it while I was there but hated the heat in summer, the misogyny, the racism, the culture void.

It was great fun though despite the above.

I actually prefer the uk

Ah, there’s always one! Australia has seasons, it’s the most open minded place I’ve been and it’s certainly not racist compared to what I’ve heard in the U.K.

My son (13) finds it so weird in the U.K. that being called “gay” is still an insult in school - he has never come across this in Aus, he has friends who are calmly and openly gay and no one mentions it. His Aus school is also extremely multi cultural and these differences are celebrated.
Im sure there are racist and homophobic people there, just as there are in the U.K., but this tired “Australians are racist because my aunt said so once when she visited an outback town in 1972” need to die.

Aussie cities and rural areas are quite different, I'd suggest looking for some work in Melbourne for more variety and a different outlook to QLD

It’s so funny when I read these things. “I was there 30 years ago. It was hot, in a hot country, I couldn’t find the culture and therefore this is relevant to your experience now”
lol

The classic Aussie lifestyle is much lauded by many but it's certainly not suited to all - evidenced by the number of Australians living in the U.K.! Travelling as a youngster is great but many of us do yearn for home, for family.

I lived overseas (USA) and loved it but we still came home after a few years to settle down

Have you not travelled around at all? I don't think the Sunshine Coast is the most exciting place to spend an entire year. I lived in Melbourne for a year but visited Sydney, the NSW coast, Brisbane, Canberra, Western Australia and loads of places in Victoria.

Also it used to be that you could extend your WHV if you did farm work. Maybe look into that and you could go and live/work in a city for a while. It would be a totally different experience.

I think you're amazing. You've made huge changes to your life, tried something new wothout a safety net and showed you have perseverance power to stick at it. Then you reflected on your situation and evaluated what was working for you and what was important.
So now you know you have what it takes to make changes, travel independantly and negotiate the paperwork that involves. So come home, maybe stop on route in Asia for a few weeks to try something else? Japan perhaps? and be pleased you have discovered that you are terrific and have acquired some great skills on the way.

I did something similar to you and 20 years on, still travelling albeit with a family in tow.

You are neither entitled nor silly OP. Why? You are not entitled because you really appreciate the opportunity you’ve had and feel (unnecessarily) guilty for not enjoying it. You are not silly because you are expressing independent thought and not just leaping on the bandwagon of enjoying it just because others are.

It’s just not the place for you. From what you’ve written it’s not the place for me either!

You are young, there’s so much more out there in the world. You’ve seen 2 out of about 200 countries! Travel widely, experience more. You’ll find out what you like and where you want to be.

Try syd or Melbs…

This. Try a different place and a different role while you are young.

what career would you be coming home to?

Oh bore off, I’m in my 50s and call myself a girl sometimes!

Being able to walk to places is a totally underrated bonus of living in most European towns/ cities. That alone would be a deal breaker for me .

you tried it and it wasn’t for you - nothing to be sad about. As pp mentioned I would travel to some other places before you fly back to the uk.
I have visited Australia many times and loved it, but not sure I would want to live there as l like being able to travel to other countries without a 7 hour flight.
I lived in Austria for four years and was bored out of my brain, hated the weather and found it so very very dull and parochial. Am sure many other people would love it, but not for me.

I was absolutely waiting for someone's sole contribution to be this. I knew it would happen as soon as I read the OP.

Mumsnet bingo ✅

Queensland is not the sum total of Australia. And there's nowhere like home, even if its not all that.

Have you stayed in one place the whole time?

If so you have just swapped uk drudgery for Oz drudgery.

Spend the next three months traveling, you can still work in bars etc.

You've just not found your place -and that's fine. Maybe your place is where you came from, maybe it's somewhere else. At least you've taken the chance and tried it out! That's a good thing, not a negative one.

Sounds fair enough to me, don't feel guilty!

I know seven or eight people who are/have been out there as newly-qualified doctors. So they have it easier than you in terms of going into a job/hospital community they know already, and a lot of other young people around to make friends with.

Three loved it, the others have all enjoyed it and had great experiences but were quite pleased when the year was over. Of the other three, one would like to stay long term, one is doing a second year but says she misses her family too much to stay permanently and the third isn't sure but has family there and has a lot of family money so there's a lot of flying back and forth and seeing each other.

So I don't think you're unusual at all!

Maybe plan two "big" experiences for this last bit? So you don't feel you've left with something you'd still like to do. I agree with others that a change of area might be good.