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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm definitely being unreasonable! Comparing lives with Australians!

388 replies

teulie · 31/12/2023 20:18

Watched a lot of Love Island Australia and MAFS Australia this year and follow a lot of the people from it now. Seeing all their stories all year and today for NYE, the sunshine, the beaches, the groups of girls all just having the best time being young in such a beautiful country with the best sort of lifestyle and it makes me feel sad!

I'm in my late twenties married with two kids, boring job, normal family life style but I look and think god could I of done that? Could life of been like that?

One of my old friends is currently in Australia so I'm seeing their insta stories all day everyday and it's made the pining worse than ever, I've never even been there and I find myself just wishing I could do life again and be born there Blush

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 02/01/2024 11:24

Mikimoto · 02/01/2024 11:07

Sorry about that, but no need to complain: you have just as much right as anyone else to move somewhere nice.

How incredibly rude! I don't live in Melbourne, but there is plenty of culture there. I prefer it to Sydney and very much enjoy visiting friends there, there is always loads going on. It reminds me a lot of London where I lived for ten years. Its too busy for me now I'm an old gimmer, I prefer good old Wait Awhile.

greentreez23 · 02/01/2024 11:42

My mum called it a hot Basildon when she visited

wandawaves · 02/01/2024 11:49

@itllbedifferentnextyear for someone that hates Australia, you seem to spend a heck of a lot of time googling all about it.

2024IWillBeNurturingMe · 02/01/2024 11:59

Anyway, happy new year to all our Aussie fellows. We hope you have a great summer, and get to have a great time.
X

Spaghettieis · 02/01/2024 12:09

I haven’t RTFT because I can’t be bothered to slog through pages of people arguing about whether or not Australia is a good place to live. But OP, what jobs do you and your DH do? Have you looked at whether you could move to Aus with your current jobs (eg shortage occupations) or whether you could retrain to something that would facilitate this? Or worked out how much you would need to save up to go on holiday there first? You’ve had kids very young which limits some of your choices but definitely not all of them. You can make of your life what you want of it.

DetMcNulty · 02/01/2024 12:19

This thread is nuts. I'm not Australian, but live in Perth now, have lived in Scotland, Yorkshire, London, California and Spain, the worst racism I've seen and heard was in Yorkshire by far. I've been lucky not experience any sexism since moving to Australia, can't say that was same in any of the other places, but at same time I'm in a far more senior role, so that could be a factor.

I absolutely love the heat though, and Western Australia (for me!), has perfect climate, very similar to San Diego I found, although the winters are maybe colder here. If I had a complaint, I'd maybe say winters could be shorter and summers a touch longer. It's been mostly high 20's, low 30's, but it's such a dry heat, and we get the lovely breeze in it doesn't feel as hot as over east, even when we do get up to high 30's. Even on a 40 degree day, which we've only had a couple so far this year feels ok at the beach.

We are spread out and Perth is super long (I think maybe the longest city in world), and I live about 30k out of CBD, but trains are great, they run every 5 mins during rush hour, all day parking at train station is $2, and because there's the free way all way out, Uber's home after a night out are only about $40, 20 mins, so easy to get around. In the 10 years I've been here, the city has really developed, the river front is beautiful, full of rooftop bars and great restaurants now, it feels really like it's thriving.

I don't even feel like we're that isolated, it's only 16 hours now for flight to London, that's what it use to take me to get to LA / San Francisco from London not that long ago, but also have so many amazing places in Asia that are super close (not a fan of Bali though). I personally love Margaret River though, of all the places I've visited, it's my favourite and hope to move there after retirement. It's so green, beautiful forest, river, beaches and one of the most bio diverse places on the planet.

In terms of the wildlife, Im out in the bush twice a day every day with my dogs, we do see snakes, but very rarely, and they are way more scared of us than we are of them, they slither of pretty quickly and I've had the dogs snake trained so they know not to approach so never been remotely an issue. On the other hand I still love seeing the kangaroos most mornings, the occasional wombat, and an even more occasional black emu which I feel really lucky about.

The treatment of Aboriginal people is really sad and the generational trauma means there are no easy fixes, and I don't know what can / should be done to help equalise. I was disappointed with the outcome of the Voice referendum, and did vote yes, but it was a completely shit campaign by the yes team and they should have really come with some kind of concrete proposal, they managed to blow their initial high lead.

SquirrelHash · 02/01/2024 13:48

FleetwoodMacAttack · 02/01/2024 10:48

Can’t understand choosing to married with kids by late 20s. It’s so young… girls should really be taught at school to wait, develop careers etc. the number of threads on here of single mums etc woth feckless exes and lost opportunities to travel/have adventures!

Women are fed up of being told what to do.

Utterbunkum · 02/01/2024 16:50

For the posters slating Australia: Here's the thing. If you move to another country and play the 'comparison' game, you might well be disappointed. When people emigrate, they need to embrace the culture they've moved to, instead of complaining that it isn't like 'back home'. If the 'culture' you look for is that of the country you left, yes, you will find a 'cultural wasteland', no matter where you go, because it isn't going to be the same.
I have never been to Australia, but I know people living there. It's NOT England with better weather. It's Australia. Appreciate it for what it has, not what it doesn't have.

OP, On Instagram, everything looks wonderful because the influencers make a living out of showing places at their best. The grass could well be greener, but only if you went with the mindset that living somewhere else isn't going to be what makes your life better on its own. Friends of mine who really made it work have moved in their heads as well as in their bodies.

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 17:05

wandawaves · 02/01/2024 11:49

@itllbedifferentnextyear for someone that hates Australia, you seem to spend a heck of a lot of time googling all about it.

Who said I hated it? Not me!

I spent 6 years of my childhood there, recently visited for 6 weeks, 6 members of my family live there (666 yikes!) - we’re in touch daily, so unlike the OP I am not basing stuff on Love Island.

The thread caught my eye, why not reply as much as I feel like.

It seems the OP couldn’t emigrate there anyway, so no point in torturing her with the good stuff 😁

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 17:06

Utterbunkum · 02/01/2024 16:50

For the posters slating Australia: Here's the thing. If you move to another country and play the 'comparison' game, you might well be disappointed. When people emigrate, they need to embrace the culture they've moved to, instead of complaining that it isn't like 'back home'. If the 'culture' you look for is that of the country you left, yes, you will find a 'cultural wasteland', no matter where you go, because it isn't going to be the same.
I have never been to Australia, but I know people living there. It's NOT England with better weather. It's Australia. Appreciate it for what it has, not what it doesn't have.

OP, On Instagram, everything looks wonderful because the influencers make a living out of showing places at their best. The grass could well be greener, but only if you went with the mindset that living somewhere else isn't going to be what makes your life better on its own. Friends of mine who really made it work have moved in their heads as well as in their bodies.

Exactly. My mum made this mistake and hadn’t stopped complaining since. She wanted England with sunshine.

BayCityCoaster · 02/01/2024 18:37

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 09:59

Clearly you're googling 'things that are dangerous in Australia'

Why yes, I am 😄

Trying to make the OP feel better about not living there!

It is incredibly interesting though. Off to Google the blue-ringed octopus. I love octopuses, they are fascinating.

Why?

The OP posted a goady opening post, and hasn’t bothered her arse to return to the thread.

Not sure why you’re wasting your time trying to help her.

Ozgirl75 · 02/01/2024 19:12

greentreez23 · 02/01/2024 11:42

My mum called it a hot Basildon when she visited

Did your mum not travel very much? I’m not an expert but I’m almost certain there isn’t a massive harbour in Basildon, or an Opera House, a rainforest, desert, reefs, beaches, world class restaurants. I mean, I may be wrong, I don’t know Basildon well, and I’m sure it’s perfectly pleasant, but to compare a country, the size and diversity of Europe or America to Basildon, seems…..odd.

BayCityCoaster · 02/01/2024 19:15

Mum clearly stayed with cousins in some outer suburb somewhere, and in her dull-mindedness, extrapolated that the entire country was exactly like that.

That’s the most charitable explanation I can come up with…..

mathanxiety · 02/01/2024 19:43

FleetwoodMacAttack · 02/01/2024 10:48

Can’t understand choosing to married with kids by late 20s. It’s so young… girls should really be taught at school to wait, develop careers etc. the number of threads on here of single mums etc woth feckless exes and lost opportunities to travel/have adventures!

Weirdly, many women I know who had children early and then went to university/ training have been well able to catch up and are now having the time of their lives, with their adult children leading independent lives. Many have parents who also had children early and the parents are not yet old or infirm enough to need support from them.

Some of my classmates who followed the career first advice ended up taking a career hit anyway because your thirties are the years when you should really be hitting your stride in your career, not tied down by a husband's job demands and not trying to juggle babies and career. Some of the women I went to school with had to sacrifice motherhood in the end because they didn't find the right partner once they got to their 30s.

You can have children early and with determination and a lot of good planning, you can find yourself in a solid position in your career, and with choices in your life.

Regardless of what path you choose, a woman's partner is a factor that can be a help or a hindrance.

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 20:06

BayCityCoaster · 02/01/2024 18:37

Why?

The OP posted a goady opening post, and hasn’t bothered her arse to return to the thread.

Not sure why you’re wasting your time trying to help her.

Was it particularly goady? That went over my head then.

LePanthere · 02/01/2024 20:45

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 08:33

I don't think a total of 10 years of war (WW1 and WW2) can account for the fact it took until 1973 for the White Australia policy to end, nearly 30 years after WW2 ended!

Isn’t the uk still deporting British caribbeans, who they invited to work sixty years and have spent their lives and families in Britain, because of some minor visa technicality?

you can find examples of modern racism in both cultures.

Passingthethyme · 02/01/2024 20:56

LePanthere · 02/01/2024 20:45

Isn’t the uk still deporting British caribbeans, who they invited to work sixty years and have spent their lives and families in Britain, because of some minor visa technicality?

you can find examples of modern racism in both cultures.

Exactly both countries are racist and have terrible history, many there remain racist today that is a fact that can't be denied, why people are even arguing about it is ridiculous

BayCityCoaster · 03/01/2024 02:59

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 20:06

Was it particularly goady? That went over my head then.

Well, she hasn’t been back, so clearly doesn’t actually care what people have said to her, so you do the maths.

DetMcNulty · 03/01/2024 05:10

I've just been reading the threads about the Post Office scandal, which appears to have been exacerbated by fairly widespread racism.

itllbedifferentnextyear · 03/01/2024 06:00

BayCityCoaster · 03/01/2024 02:59

Well, she hasn’t been back, so clearly doesn’t actually care what people have said to her, so you do the maths.

Well the thread still seems pretty much alive, so I guess I’ll keep posting as long as others are here posting with me 😁

BayCityCoaster · 03/01/2024 06:26

Good for you, @itllbedifferentnextyear !!

Bubblesoffun · 03/01/2024 06:44

FloofCloud · 01/01/2024 08:15

My mum retired out there, I visited, it's hot, can be humid, dusty, very few nice places, they have
Towns and cities but not much in between, no quaint villages or country pubs. Going walking is dangerous due to everything that can kill you, including in the sea. I found a lot of racism, and was shocked that in local pubs they'd have topless bar staff sometimes (this was 20 years ago so hope that's a thing of the past). It really is expensive too. When we flew to the other side of the country it took 6 hours ... its huge and there's a lot of nothing

You are aware that the sun only got rid of topless page 3 girls in 2015 right?

itllbedifferentnextyear · 03/01/2024 07:11

DetMcNulty · 03/01/2024 05:10

I've just been reading the threads about the Post Office scandal, which appears to have been exacerbated by fairly widespread racism.

Yes it's just terrible isn't it? Shameful and the victims can never be fully recompensed.

itllbedifferentnextyear · 03/01/2024 07:17

Passingthethyme · 02/01/2024 20:56

Exactly both countries are racist and have terrible history, many there remain racist today that is a fact that can't be denied, why people are even arguing about it is ridiculous

Exactly.

No arguments from me that Britain hasn't got a horrific history and still has issues today.

There are always threads here about the latest scandal (Windrush, post office scandal) and rightly so.

I just wanted to talk about Australia on a thread about Australia.

Jk8 · 03/01/2024 08:40

Nonamesleft1 · 01/01/2024 07:35

I visited Australia 30 years ago as a teenager. There was some sort of referendum ongoing at the time to vote whether to become independent of the commonwealth/monarchy.

15 year old me was constantly asked by every adult why I thought our queen should be their head of state or whatever. I had no clue, and didn’t really care.

so the opportunity to ditch the queen/king has been presented on at least one occasion. If Australians want to keep it as is that’s their choice.

It's been presented dozens of times & if the option was 'queen or no queen' as is it probably would have won out yeaaaars ago (Australians have a very complex & quite frankly negative relationship with the UK = penal colony years only affecting the lower classes/sports/wars

But ... its not! It's a reverse vote for the Australian government (who keep making it an option to vote for but waited 40+ years to vote on gay marriage/women's rights/welfare rights 😒) & (not enough) people get sucked into it (55% or so against last time. Haha)

But I can only apologise for everybody making it 15 year old you's fault like you'd personally come to lobby the cause.

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