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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm definitely being unreasonable! Comparing lives with Australians!

388 replies

teulie · 31/12/2023 20:18

Watched a lot of Love Island Australia and MAFS Australia this year and follow a lot of the people from it now. Seeing all their stories all year and today for NYE, the sunshine, the beaches, the groups of girls all just having the best time being young in such a beautiful country with the best sort of lifestyle and it makes me feel sad!

I'm in my late twenties married with two kids, boring job, normal family life style but I look and think god could I of done that? Could life of been like that?

One of my old friends is currently in Australia so I'm seeing their insta stories all day everyday and it's made the pining worse than ever, I've never even been there and I find myself just wishing I could do life again and be born there Blush

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
Anahenzaris · 02/01/2024 08:55

> As lovely as beaches are, when anything becomes a norm? It gets boring after a while. Your British friends, posting pics from the beach, are enjoying a novel experience. People who live there full time, won't be in constant holiday mode, they'll be going to work too, wrangling their kids into car seats to go to school etc, like you are!

True to a point. But it’s a different lifestyle dropping the kids off for nippers at the beach of a weekend, or spotting koalas on your walk into work vs going to the ice hockey and walking through the snow. Life as a local is very different to as a tourist - no matter where you live - and you definitely shouldn’t plan a live based on the tourist experience. But I also think the different lifestyles of different communities get ignored too much because we’re all washing the laundry and cooking dinner. I place a lot of importance on where I’m living as I move around - for me it’s central to being happy.

Edited to try fix the formatting of the quote

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 09:05

GlorianaCervixia · 02/01/2024 08:45

Do you even read the links you post?

The wikipedia article you linked said that the White Australia policy was dismantled by successive governments - Holt and Menzies - after World War II and that in the late 1800s the British government refused to disallow the laws. The British Colonial Secretary said "We quite sympathise with the determination... of these colonies... that there should not be an influx of people alien in civilisation, aliens in religion, alien in customs." Meanwhile NSW, South Australia and Queensland did not ratify the 1895 laws because they already had a treaty with Japan.

Again, no one has argued that Australia has no racism. What they have argued is that Australia is not uniquely more racist than other countries and that anyone who wants to pretend that Britain has no racist past or present is making themselves look ridiculous. Fortunately, most people in Britain are more sensible than that.

But didn't Australia gain its independence in 1901? Therefore, weren't they free to stop this stuff?

anyone who wants to pretend that Britain has no racist past or present is making themselves look ridiculous. Fortunately, most people in Britain are more sensible than that.

I hope you don't think that's what I'm doing. I am trying to show the OP that there is no such thing as a utopia. Presumably, she already knows the UK isn't one as she wants to leave.

Of course I am not pretending Britain has no racism past or present, but this thread is about Australia, the good and the bad.

I think everyone knows Australia was a British colony and it was the British who came over first, occupied it and treated the indigenous peoples horrifically. That of course is just one place where we did terrible things in the name of the empire.

Ties are severed in 1901, except for the monarchy though that it not being forced on them.

It's now up to Australia.

I'll move onto the weather at some point😜

Edited to add date.

Mikimoto · 02/01/2024 09:09

Lostsadandconfused · 02/01/2024 08:16

Oh here we go again.

Never once, on any Australia bashing pile-on thread, have I ever read an explanation of what a ‘cultural wasteland’ actually is.

Go and stay in Melbourne for a week, then report back.

Ozgirl75 · 02/01/2024 09:10

I suspect that if you live outside the major cities in Aus, there isn’t so much in the way of arts or theatre, but that’s because the population tends to be concentrated in the cities. However, saying there “isn’t culture” is just mad and shows that you either haven’t been here or it just wasn’t important to you when you were here. Which is fine! I go to the theatre once in a while in London, once in a while in Sydney. I go to the art gallery maybe 2-3 times a year in Sydney, and in the time I’ve been in the U.K., I’ve been to about the same.
Maybe if theatre and the arts are your major passion, then London is a better spot, but for most people, who might go to cultural events a few times a year, any major city probably provides what they need.
Even when I lived in tiny Adelaide there were cultural events all the time, you could barely get through the month without something else on!

And saying Sydney/Australia has a monoculture - what are you talking about? In my son’s friend group alone he has families from China, India, Malaysia, Korea, Japan, the U.K.,France and Italy. Sydney has had waves of immigration from (off the top of my head) Italy, Greece, Lebanon, Iran, Vietnam, Cambodia, Ireland, plus now China, as well as huge numbers from the U.K. over the years. The second biggest Greek population in the world (after Greece!) is Melbourne. Are you saying that none of those people have any effect on the culture of the country?
Again, in country areas, the population is probably more solely white, but that’s true in the U.K. as well. In my son’s class in surrey he only had two children out of 20 who weren’t white, whereas his class in Sydney was around 40% white (and out of that 40% they came from a variety of white backgrounds, such as Italian, Greek, Irish and British).

Australia isn’t for everyone, and that’s fine - but at least if you’re going to dismiss it, learn the reality, don’t just spout random made up thoughts like “its a monoculture” or “schools are worse”.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 02/01/2024 09:25

SausageCasseroles · 01/01/2024 08:01

I've met Australians who think everything is more expensive in the UK.... And English people who think everything is more expensive in Australia.

They can't both be right!

I think a generation or so ago an English person could sell a house in the UK and buy a really big hoise/swimming Poole in Australia as the pound was doing so well. I do t think that's the case now

It’s also down to the fact that property prices in Australia have soared, like they have in the U.K. and in many other parts of the world. Singapore is just one I know about from relatives who live there.

Ozgirl75 · 02/01/2024 09:34

Costs of things - to an extent it depends what you’re spending your money on (of course). So I’ll leave house costs out because it’s so variable depending on where you live and your circumstances - ie we bought a house in Sydney 11 years ago and so our costs are very low as we have almost paid off the mortgage now.
But we pay around $300 a quarter (£150) for council tax in Syd and we paid £310 a month for the same in the U.K.

A train ticket into the city in Syd (30 mins journey) is around $3 return. A ticket into London (same journey time although further distance) is around £20 ($40)
We pay around $200-300 a month for electricity which covers everything, heating, water, air con. In the U.K. we paid £200 a month for electric and needed oil on top of that for heating and hot water. Same size house, same usage.
Food I would say is a similar price in the supermarket. Eating out for a family of 4 is about double in the U.K. We would have a nice meal out for around $100-120 and we pay the same in £ - never pay less than £100.

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 09:36

Stonefish

Stonefish live all around the Australian coastline. They look like rocks and live among rocks on coral reefs. They can also be found sleeping in the mud or sand.
The stonefish’s back is lined with spines that release a venomous toxin. This makes it very dangerous.

They sound scary!

Sea creature bites and stings | healthdirect

I was surprised how there have been no recorded deaths since Europeans set foot there .

Yet it seems immediate medical attention is needed as they are the most venomous fish in the world!

Is this because everyone knows what to do in an emergency and people take extra precautions and the healthcare for it is good?

Sea creature bites and stings

Not sure if a bite or sting from a sea creature is dangerous? Here’s information about first aid treatments for jellyfish stings, sea snake bites and more.

https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/sea-creature-stings#:~:text=Stonefish%20live%20all%20around%20the%20Australian%20coastline.%20They,a%20venomous%20toxin.%20This%20makes%20it%20very%20dangerous.

Ozgirl75 · 02/01/2024 09:53

I think the lack of deaths by wildlife are a combination of factors:
You see way less than you expect. We have lived on the edge of the bush (although in Sydney) for 16 years and we’ve seen one python (non deadly), one death adder, zero funnel webs and we have the house pest sprayed for spiders so we never get any.
The coastline is massive so you’re very unlikely to see a stonefish or similar.
In areas where you have dangerous things, people know to avoid them. So we don’t swim during stinger season, people tend to know crocodile holes etc.
Then when people do get bitten or stung (rare), they tend to have access to medical care which treats them.
But it isn’t like people are getting bitten all the time - these things just aren’t roaming around everywhere! My parents have visited us every year and have never seen a dangerous spider or snake.

IamMini · 02/01/2024 09:54

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 09:36

Stonefish

Stonefish live all around the Australian coastline. They look like rocks and live among rocks on coral reefs. They can also be found sleeping in the mud or sand.
The stonefish’s back is lined with spines that release a venomous toxin. This makes it very dangerous.

They sound scary!

Sea creature bites and stings | healthdirect

I was surprised how there have been no recorded deaths since Europeans set foot there .

Yet it seems immediate medical attention is needed as they are the most venomous fish in the world!

Is this because everyone knows what to do in an emergency and people take extra precautions and the healthcare for it is good?

Everyone, from small child upwards, knows not to walk in rockpools barefoot. Clearly you're googling 'things that are dangerous in Australia' - have you encountered the blue-ringed octopus yet? You'll love it.

Pickledprawn · 02/01/2024 09:54

I wouldn't go by influencers on social media. But why don't you plan a big family holiday and see how you like it. I think you would need at least a month to six weeks there.
I do agree with PP that there does seem to be racism in the country against the Aboriginal people which is very sad to see. But I think you find racism in every country as there will always be small minded people wherever you go.

Ozgirl75 · 02/01/2024 09:55

Stonefish are not a concern. I’ve never heard anyone even mention them, let alone tread on one. People tend to go sandy beaches and if there are rocks they’d probably wear sandals anyway.

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 09:57

Ozgirl75 · 02/01/2024 09:53

I think the lack of deaths by wildlife are a combination of factors:
You see way less than you expect. We have lived on the edge of the bush (although in Sydney) for 16 years and we’ve seen one python (non deadly), one death adder, zero funnel webs and we have the house pest sprayed for spiders so we never get any.
The coastline is massive so you’re very unlikely to see a stonefish or similar.
In areas where you have dangerous things, people know to avoid them. So we don’t swim during stinger season, people tend to know crocodile holes etc.
Then when people do get bitten or stung (rare), they tend to have access to medical care which treats them.
But it isn’t like people are getting bitten all the time - these things just aren’t roaming around everywhere! My parents have visited us every year and have never seen a dangerous spider or snake.

Yes, there would be a huge element of living with the world around them and knowing how to manage it, I guess.

A lot of countries have dangerous fauna. In the UK, I think our most dangerous animal is a cow - they cause the most deaths, I believe!

Thanks for your answer.

Ozgirl75 · 02/01/2024 09:58

I mean it’s like saying “I wouldn’t go to America because of rattlesnakes” - it’s just not a concern for the vast majority of people.

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 09:59

IamMini · 02/01/2024 09:54

Everyone, from small child upwards, knows not to walk in rockpools barefoot. Clearly you're googling 'things that are dangerous in Australia' - have you encountered the blue-ringed octopus yet? You'll love it.

Clearly you're googling 'things that are dangerous in Australia'

Why yes, I am 😄

Trying to make the OP feel better about not living there!

It is incredibly interesting though. Off to Google the blue-ringed octopus. I love octopuses, they are fascinating.

IamMini · 02/01/2024 10:01

@itllbedifferentnextyear

Ties are severed in 1901, except for the monarchy though that it not being forced on them.

Ties have not severed. We have a Governor-General. This is the first paragraph of the Governor-General of Australia Wiki page:

"The governor-general of Australia is the representative of the monarch, currently King Charles III, in Australia. The governor-general is appointed by the monarch on the advice of the prime minister. The governor-general has formal presidency over the Federal Executive Council and is commander-in-chief of the Australian Defence Force. The functions of the governor-general include appointing ministers, judges, and ambassadors; giving royal assent to legislation passed by parliament; issuing writs for election; and bestowing Australian honours."

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwig8eW4uL6DAxUrkK8BHZmtAwEQFnoECCIQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FGovernor-Generaloff_Australia&usg=AOvVaw19tRF0F7CIoPRzGwZLsIER&opi=89978449

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 10:07

IamMini · 02/01/2024 10:01

@itllbedifferentnextyear

Ties are severed in 1901, except for the monarchy though that it not being forced on them.

Ties have not severed. We have a Governor-General. This is the first paragraph of the Governor-General of Australia Wiki page:

"The governor-general of Australia is the representative of the monarch, currently King Charles III, in Australia. The governor-general is appointed by the monarch on the advice of the prime minister. The governor-general has formal presidency over the Federal Executive Council and is commander-in-chief of the Australian Defence Force. The functions of the governor-general include appointing ministers, judges, and ambassadors; giving royal assent to legislation passed by parliament; issuing writs for election; and bestowing Australian honours."

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwig8eW4uL6DAxUrkK8BHZmtAwEQFnoECCIQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FGovernor-Generaloff_Australia&usg=AOvVaw19tRF0F7CIoPRzGwZLsIER&opi=89978449

Thanks for that.

But the Australian Government makes it's own decisions for Australia doesn't it? We have no input on that? I imagine the royal assent on legislation is the same as it is here, ie just a formality, they don't get involved in politics really.

StartupRepair · 02/01/2024 10:07

Ties were not severed in 1901. Australian states federated and formed one country, still with the monarch as head of state. 58,000 Australians died in Europe in WW1, Huge percentage of our population. Australians fought in the Middle East and Pacific as well as Europe in WW2.

itllbedifferentnextyear · 02/01/2024 10:11

Znoodlez · 02/01/2024 10:09

Access to Europe is advantage for the UK but it seems like a disadvantage for Europe 😂

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/british-tourists-amsterdam-netherlands-dutch-stay-away-campaign-b1118356.html

Does this mean the OP should or shouldn't want to emigrate to Australia?! 😜

Amsterdam...that brings back a lost weekend I never want to repeat!!

EasternStandard · 02/01/2024 10:12

Znoodlez · 02/01/2024 10:09

Access to Europe is advantage for the UK but it seems like a disadvantage for Europe 😂

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/british-tourists-amsterdam-netherlands-dutch-stay-away-campaign-b1118356.html

I doubt it. Bar this one campaign U.K. visitors will spend a huge amount on holiday

EasternStandard · 02/01/2024 10:14

StartupRepair · 02/01/2024 10:07

Ties were not severed in 1901. Australian states federated and formed one country, still with the monarch as head of state. 58,000 Australians died in Europe in WW1, Huge percentage of our population. Australians fought in the Middle East and Pacific as well as Europe in WW2.

At what point / time period would you say decisions made were Australian rather than British?