This generation of grandparents - vent with me please

[icelollybrolly]

Not sure why I’m surprised considering most of my childhood memories are of my own grandma looking after us more than my parents but, still. I have 2 small children and can’t believe how much my parents just don’t care to actually make an effort to support me/see them/spend meaningful time with them. If they look after them it’s because I just about had to beg them for childcare once every few months, and all they do is sit in the house with them or take them for a happy meal. They never ask to have them or even pop over to see them, but funnily enough my mum will spam her facebook with pictures I’ve sent them of the kids as if she’s taken them, and her friends all gush about how lovely it must be being a grandma etc and she goes on as if they’re her world. Or if they see them and toddler says/does something clever they’ll take credit and say oh we showed her how to do that (not me who’s shown her 100 times no?) It’s a load of shit. How hard is it to spend proper time with your grandkids? They work but have every weekend free, my own grandma was much older when we were kids and she used to take us to farms, cinemas, swimming, all sorts. Just feel let down and sad for my children that their grandparents don’t seem very invested in them.

As ever a load of agesist shite on this thread.

Sorry I'm not saying all 60 Ur old women go around biting kids I'm saying it's a constant thing people see and talk about. It's weird to me you'd never have heard of it

May I just also say that I have a hair lip and my parents (dad) encouraged me to "stick up" for myself when called names, so I usually got in there before anyone else got the chance. Don't know if mum and dad feeling sorry for me "saved" me from getting a beating from them 😅 but I never got a beating.

Yes, but a decent home is not about what it looks like on the outside.

Which generation? Did I miss where the OP spelled out how old her parents are? They could be any age between 40 and 90. So many people here are generalising from their own experience and making themselves look silly in the process.

Yes, you are, and it's a load of crap!!

I've heard of it, but I don't know anyone of my generation who would do it or suggest it.

Don't I know it.

Gosh what an entitled generation today’s parents seem to be. If you have children you shouldn’t expect that anyone else will help bring them up. That is your job. If grandparents want to be involved then it is up to them. As is the amount of time and effort they put into it. This is from someone who spent the last eight years doing all the childcare for my two grandsons while my daughter has worked. I have enjoyed every minute of it but not everyone is like me.

I think that poster may be a dog masquerading as a mumsnetter tbh

I'm not, I'm being slightly facetious about something I hear all the time bandied about by the generation above me who seem to think because I'm an older mum I'll be all about skelping arses and biting toddlers

Was coming on to say exactly this.

So many new parents don't seem to want grandparents visiting or turn to MN to vent their spleen because grandparents do things differently.

Yet complain like OP who seems to want time off!

Had no time off as parents/in-laws lived 200+/100+ miles away.

Now my adult children live 200+/100+ miles away from us in different directions.

So we had no care nor can we provide any care.

Utter fucking hogwash.

No one is obliged to do any of the above. They've raised their family and if their offspring choose to have children, that's on them.

Bollocks. You're just spouting ageist crap.

In my opinion it is what is it is the most shit lazy non sensical expression. Gives me the rage when I hear it used. Means nothing and only serves to patronise the recipient.

What message is the dog sending though?
That's what I want to know!

oh behave. You sound a bit dim tbh.

Exactly!

along the lines of “I want DH, baby and me to bond as a family for a while before GP can visit”. Bar real issues, I can only imagine how hurtful it must be for those GPs. But likeminded MN users will probably “ It’s not about them”.

What?

You mean you've never heard of 'bite the kid back' from women in their 60s or you have but don't like it being brought up?

Perfectly fine if you think km dim 🤷 your opinion of me is not something I'll lose sleep over.

That you should bite your pups....sorry children, to show them who's boss.

It's dog discipline 101

FO...thats lovely. The way it should be!!
96ways tobe happy 😊

.

GrannyRose15

"Gosh what an entitled generation today’s parents seem to be. If you have children you shouldn’t expect that anyone else will help bring them up."

OP didn't ask for help to bring them up. Just for them to actually show sincere interest in her children's lives.

"If grandparents want to be involved then it is up to them. As is the amount of time and effort they put into it."

Well of course, but that doesn't invalidate OP's disappointment and sadness in how little time and effort her parents are putting in.

if you live local and don’t / won’t do any of these kind of things below- your a shit grandparent.

....
Ring often and ask to speak to the kids on the phone- because you like them.
Visit them at home.
Think of them and think of little things you can give them or do with them to make them happy
Take them out to the beach or park ever so often....
Have them to sleepover.
Make time for them. If you’ve been really busy, swing in and take them with you to tescos or a dog walk or anything that you’de be doing anyway.

All those things depend on their mother being amenable to it. And some of them (phoning often and asking to speak to them, visiting them at home, swinging by, asking for sleepovers..) are things that regularly irritate mumsnetters (especially if the GP is their MIL)

Like I said earlier. It's walking on eggshells.

I honestly think you maybe need a cup of tea.