“I wasn't asleep”

[QuitChewingMyPlectrum]

What is this phenomenon? Is it only in our household or does anyone else experience this.…

Watching TV, DH has eyes closed and is snoring.
Me: Why don't you go to bed to sleep? You must need it
Him: I wasn't sleeping

HE WAS!

It genuinely winds me up - why not admit you were sleeping. What's to gain?

I do this. All the time. If I was my husband I would LTB.😊

I don't understand the denial either. What is so awful about falling asleep in front of the TV?? Mine is terrible for it and refuses to accept that he has been asleep. Just like his dad.

When I nod off and subsequently take myself off to bed, I don't deny having been asleep. I know they do actually think they've been awake the whole time, but that failure to accept that they could be wrong, despite clear signs such as the tv channel having changed, is a very male feature to me.

ABSOLUTELY THIS!!!
I have industrial strength earplugs for night but the inability to let me watch something I want to watch because he's “not sleeping” is sooooo frustrating!

What @FreshWinterMorning said

Get this all the time. He sleeps on the sofa, winds me up so much. I tell him if you're going to sleep go to bed. 2 min later he's asleep.

I can't hear the TV!!

Yep! I get this all the time 🥴 although DP is ex military so I think to an extent he probably can sleep whilst half awake as they were trained to sleep standing up in the army apparently 😲

YES!!! It's not the sleep that annoys me though, it's the 'no I wasn't/I'm awake/insert other BS here'. He does this reeeeeally annoying thing sometimes too where his head just flops forward and he kinda jumps awake and then looks all sheepish BUT STILL CARRIES ON WITH THE I WAS/AM AWAKE STUFF

I will quite often be woken up and say that I wasn’t asleep, because I don’t feel that I was. It’s not a man thing.

This interests me because I have experienced it from the other side. My DH occasionally (not every night, maybe about once a month) claims that I'm snoring when my subjective impression was that I wasn't asleep and wasn't snoring. I've always assumed the only two possible explanations were (1) I was asleep and dreaming that I was lying in bed awake and not snoring (but what a boring dream!) or (2) he was asleep and dreaming that I was snoring. Someone said upthread that if you are very lightly asleep you can be partially aware of what's going on, so that might be the explanation - thanks! (So my response to the OP is: he may genuinely not be aware that he's been asleep - don't be too hard on him!)

I think you have something here. Many people can’t stand to see others asleep. I remember as a young teacher trying to take 40 winks in the staff room at lunch time. Not doing anyone any harm. But there was always one member of staff ( not always the same one) who would make a point of disturbing me by saying very loudly something like “oh look she’s asleep” Could never understand this attitude especially as recharging my batteries in this way made me a better teacher in the afternoons.

I don’t get what all the folks saying “it’s bad because they’re lying” really want to accomplish. If you made your silly remark and they said “yes I’m enjoying a nap piss off and leave me alone” would you prefer that honesty and oblige? I suspect not

I would much prefer that tbh.😀

I put it more at 'frustrating' level for me rather than enraging. But I suppose if my exH had done it, it would have added more coals to the fire for me, too.

DH has now bought himself wireless earphones that he uses some of the time when he thinks of it. They have separate volume control to the TV so now I can mute the volume and he can still hear through the headphones. He doesn't use them often enough, but at least it's something.

oh YES my ex would do that!!!!

Mine says ‘I was just resting my eyes’, which is mildly annoying, but he doesn’t snore, at least. His and hers TV remotes are an absolute must.

It's resource domination.

I used to go upstairs and watch TV there with all the kids on the bed too.

Happens in my house all the time! The other thing that annoys me is the volume! I can hear the tellie 3 floors up and when come downstairs to switch the tellie off or turn down the volume - I got told off even though he was snoring!

My husband dozes off, and snores. When I remarked on it, he said "I wasn't asleep and snoring, that's just the noise my throat makes when I'm relaxed" 😂

My Grandad always used to do this! This has made me smile

Dh's one is switching his alarm off and going back to sleep. Sometimes several times.
He then wakes some time later, and realises he is late and curses that his alarm hasn't gone off. I point out that three alarms have gone off and he's snoozed them all.

What was really funny though was this summer I solved the daily issue of his alarm going off and him huffing and puffing as he tried to silence it. (and yes, he'd still have no recollection of it going off). I pointed out that to silence it you swiped up, not sideways. He'd only had the phone 18 months. I suppose never looked at it at that point with his glasses on though. 🤣

Why are you all so confrontational? Why are you waking people and opinonating they must need this or that? Why try to enter a negative discussion with someone on waking them? It all sounds like point-scoring. I totally tell husband if he's snoring and to go to bed. He knows I care and I know he does it because he knows I'll find it annoying if he doesn't. Why would you pick an argument or annoyance about it?

And mine. Why on earth do they do this???

I thought sleep denial was just one of my husband’s bizarre traits. Didn’t realise a whole community of women were also suffering 😂

My husband always insists he is not sleeping, he is just resting his eyes.