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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be a bit miffed at receiving alcoholic gifts for Christmas when pregnant?

113 replies

whomoon · 30/12/2023 18:19

We announced to our family I was pregnant a few weeks ago, mentioning that would mean I can’t drink alcohol and enjoy some of the usual
Christmas goodies I’d usually have.

I remember specifically saying to my dad ‘that means I can’t have alcohol in the hamper you put together for us’ because in my mind, why gift alcohol to a pregnant woman who can’t drink? I am hoping to breast feed so won’t be able to drink for a while afterwards either.

Then on Christmas Day, I had a bottle of Prosecco from each my dad and my DH’s aunt, who also knows I’m pregnant.

prosecco is best drunk within a year. I’m a bit miffed that I can’t enjoy my present, and my DH doesn’t drink Prosecco. I also don’t ‘host’ much and wouldn’t offer to guests. So I will have to regift.

Am I unreasonable to be a bit miffed of receiving a gift I can’t enjoy? The Prosecco from my DH aunt was bottled in 2022 so I expect she just gifted from her wine cellar, so I’ve got even less time to drink that.

Miffed is the strongest I feel about this btw, I’m mostly curious what others think on this being a gift to give to a pregnant woman?

OP posts:
Original poster
whomoon · 30/12/2023 19:36

HotChocolateWithCointreau · 30/12/2023 19:26

It's a bit thoughtless BUT you're being exceptionally precious. I'm assuming it's your first baby!

Yep! How did you guess, lol

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 30/12/2023 19:38

I’m 6 months pregnant and also got a few bottles of prosecco for Christmas, I was over the moon because it means I can enjoy them once I’ve given birth. I’m also planning on breastfeeding and as long as you can hold your baby you can feed your baby. You can absolutely have a couple of glasses of prosecco and if you did want to drink 2 bottles in one night you can always “pump and dump” the next day so it doesn’t have to be a big drama.

I think especially as you announced just a few weeks before Christmas the hampers were probably already being produced and they may not have wanted to simply remove the Prosecco without replacing it with something else.

Mrsttcno1 · 30/12/2023 19:38

Also, I’d rather be given actual prosecco than any more bottles of nosecco! I must have received about 15 bottles of nosecco as presents since announcing my pregnancy and I’m absolutely fed up of drinking the stuff now hahaha

EnjoyTheMushrooms · 30/12/2023 19:40

Originalusername89 · 30/12/2023 18:27

You can eat and drink as normal while breastfeeding. By the time you've drunk enough to affect the baby you're to drunk to be looking after an infant anyway.

I think you're being a bit precious, just stick it in a cupboard and enjoy it after the birth

this is the up to date info. A small glass a night won’t hurt while BF

ValuableLimeLesson · 30/12/2023 19:42

prosecco is best drunk within a year

How long are you planning to be pregnant for?!

Seriously, though - I had a bottle of Prosecco in the fridge waiting for me after DD1 was born. I was given gin for Christmas while I was pregnant with DD2 as we announced it in November and our relatives had already done their shopping. It was fine. It kept.

Willmafrockfit · 30/12/2023 19:43

prosecco is rubbish as i imagine it needs to be drunk in one sitting.

Babyboomtastic · 30/12/2023 19:44

You'd be dead with alcohol poisoning before your milk contained enough alcohol to affect the baby.

I'm a lifelong teetotaler, but see nothing wrong with breastfeeding women drinking. The very occasional glass during pregnancy is unlikely to be a problem as well, but it's not controversial.

The only thing you have to be aware of with drinking and a small baby is ensuring you are sober enough to care for them, and you do need to be totally sober for cosleeping.

Tonight1 · 30/12/2023 19:47

@HotChocolateWithCointreau she reacted badly so I put it back in my bag and felt like I'd done something wrong. It was like I'd brought in a cobra snake!

I've learned my lesson, next time a friend gives birth I'll check first. If they would like champagne, fine. If not I'd bring in something like a babygro

zigzag716746zigzag · 30/12/2023 19:47

Luzina · 30/12/2023 19:32

It is thoughtless. I am t2 diabetic and a close family member regularly gives me expensive boxes of chocolates etc. I regift to a friend and she enjoys them but every year it annoys me.

That’s not even vaguely the same thing though, is it?

HotChocolateWithCointreau · 30/12/2023 19:48

Tonight1 · 30/12/2023 19:47

@HotChocolateWithCointreau she reacted badly so I put it back in my bag and felt like I'd done something wrong. It was like I'd brought in a cobra snake!

I've learned my lesson, next time a friend gives birth I'll check first. If they would like champagne, fine. If not I'd bring in something like a babygro

Oh what a shame!

If you'd given it to me in hospital, I'd only be miffed with you if you'd forgotten the plastic glasses 😂

sprigatito · 30/12/2023 19:51

Your pregnancy is the central thing in your life right now, but it isn't to anyone else. They probably had a million other things on their minds over Christmas and didn't think it was a big deal for you to just drink it after you give birth.

billybear · 30/12/2023 19:56

i received a bottle of vodca i dont drink vodca, will see if any of supermarkets will let me swop it to something i drink you never know in a bottle bag

Mrsttcno1 · 30/12/2023 19:56

HotChocolateWithCointreau · 30/12/2023 19:48

Oh what a shame!

If you'd given it to me in hospital, I'd only be miffed with you if you'd forgotten the plastic glasses 😂

Show quote history

Literally! I’m 6 months pregnant and quite regularly joke to my husband that I’ll be packing a bottle of prosecco, a glass and some strawberry’s in my hospital bag🤣🤣🤣

ttcat37 · 30/12/2023 20:34

Yep, lazy and thoughtless. I felt the same when people bought me baby stuff for my birthday (am also pregnant). Probably being ungrateful but there’s only so many tummy moisturisers I can use or store…

EarlGreywithLemon · 30/12/2023 20:41

I’m with you, but then I chose not to drink while breastfeeding (and indeed in my pregnancies). My choice and I wouldn’t appreciate being told I’m being precious, any more than the people who are using the term would appreciate a lecture about the negative effects of alcohol on babies (and adults). You told them you didn’t want alcohol, they should have listened.

Original poster
whomoon · 30/12/2023 20:54

EarlGreywithLemon · 30/12/2023 20:41

I’m with you, but then I chose not to drink while breastfeeding (and indeed in my pregnancies). My choice and I wouldn’t appreciate being told I’m being precious, any more than the people who are using the term would appreciate a lecture about the negative effects of alcohol on babies (and adults). You told them you didn’t want alcohol, they should have listened.

Thank you. This is how I feel.
I have chosen not to drink during pregnancy and breastfeeding, and have let my family know. Being told it’s okay to drink whilst breastfeeding is irrelevant if I have already chosen not to.

OP posts:
Fedupwithitx · 30/12/2023 21:06

Honestly, and with respect.
Get over yourself

bakewellbride · 30/12/2023 21:08

@whomoon yanbu op and you are not being precious. It's a thoughtless gift and I didn't drink during pregnancy or breastfeeding either.

LimePi · 31/12/2023 01:18

You can actually drink when you breastfeed. Eg a glass right after a feed.

but anyway it’s rude to tell people that you didn’t like their gift, sucK it up and regift it 💁‍♀️

Possimpible · 31/12/2023 01:28

ttcat37 · 30/12/2023 20:34

Yep, lazy and thoughtless. I felt the same when people bought me baby stuff for my birthday (am also pregnant). Probably being ungrateful but there’s only so many tummy moisturisers I can use or store…

Jesus Christ, people can't win. They buy a gift that's not suitable while pregnant - that's wrong. They buy a gift they think you'll like, to use when you're pregnant - that's wrong too.

The truth is people don't really care about your pregnancy, certainly nowhere near as much as you do. OP's family probably thought it was patronising to remove the prosecco that was already part of the gift, as though OP can't make her own choices. But no, OP is the first woman ever to be pregnant and needs a big deal made

JMSA · 31/12/2023 01:32

It's an uninspired gift at the best of times, but really rather thoughtless now!

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 31/12/2023 01:39

I can't believe you went as far as checking the DATE on the prosecco off Auntie to judge that she got it from her wine cellar!

You are being precious, getting a pregnant woman a bottle she can drink after birth is becoming more popular. And the whole "best drunk within a year" twaddle... it'll be fine later on.

crumblingschools · 31/12/2023 01:45

Didn’t realise Prosecco had a short shelf life

comfyshoes2022 · 31/12/2023 01:49

I received prosecco as a gift while pregnant and really liked it as something I could look forward to using to celebrate with my husband when I was no longer pregnant. I understand your perspective, too, but just to say that I don’t think this is an obviously thoughtless gift.

Islandermummy · 31/12/2023 02:20

It's not that deep

It's a joint present and they probably just forgot that your husband hates Prosecco?

Or they made up the hamper in Nov, then felt it'd be a bit mean to remove something after you announced

Or they might not have fully taken on board that you're not going to have the odd glass on special occasions even after the baby is born, given I think most mums are happy to have the odd wine by then.

Obviously it's a completely valid choice to go totally zero booze, but they might not have realised the extent of your alcohol ban as you are being especially strict.

And I mean my mum went to the pub while she was still "in hospital" after birth (in the days where you got to stay a week), so older parents have different standards...

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