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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit miffed at receiving alcoholic gifts for Christmas when pregnant?

113 replies

whomoon · 30/12/2023 18:19

We announced to our family I was pregnant a few weeks ago, mentioning that would mean I can’t drink alcohol and enjoy some of the usual
Christmas goodies I’d usually have.

I remember specifically saying to my dad ‘that means I can’t have alcohol in the hamper you put together for us’ because in my mind, why gift alcohol to a pregnant woman who can’t drink? I am hoping to breast feed so won’t be able to drink for a while afterwards either.

Then on Christmas Day, I had a bottle of Prosecco from each my dad and my DH’s aunt, who also knows I’m pregnant.

prosecco is best drunk within a year. I’m a bit miffed that I can’t enjoy my present, and my DH doesn’t drink Prosecco. I also don’t ‘host’ much and wouldn’t offer to guests. So I will have to regift.

Am I unreasonable to be a bit miffed of receiving a gift I can’t enjoy? The Prosecco from my DH aunt was bottled in 2022 so I expect she just gifted from her wine cellar, so I’ve got even less time to drink that.

Miffed is the strongest I feel about this btw, I’m mostly curious what others think on this being a gift to give to a pregnant woman?

OP posts:
Santapaws3 · 30/12/2023 19:02

It’s a bit thoughtless but unsure why you would want them to remove it from the hamper? Maybe they thought you could just drink it when you give birth? I’m 25 weeks pregnant and got a lot of pregnancy related gifts, in some ways I would be grateful for something non-pregnancy related!

Original poster
whomoon · 30/12/2023 19:03

Btw, it’s a self made hamper, not a store bought one. Hence me saying they could have removed it from the hamper.

OP posts:
Wheeeeee · 30/12/2023 19:04

Breastmilk has the same alcohol concentration as your blood. The drink drive limit in England is 0.08% IIRC, and anything above 0.4% is likely to be lethal. So it's not possible for your baby to ingest any meaningful amount of alcohol via breastmilk. The bigger concern is caring for a baby while intoxicated, but obviously that applies whether breastfeeding or not.

RedPandaFluff · 30/12/2023 19:04

PASS ME THAT BOTTLE Grin

Ohnotyoutoo · 30/12/2023 19:08

A bottle of prosecco is better than a bottle of Nosecco. I've also been given a bottle of prosecco when 3 months pregnant, and the friend that gave it to me had known for 2 months.

I just saved it for when the baby was born. It was fine!

AhBiscuits · 30/12/2023 19:08

You could be absolutely sozzled, falling down drunk and your breastmilk could still be bottled and sold as alcohol free. Have your baby and celebrate with a glass of prosecco.

Imnotarestaurant · 30/12/2023 19:09

Tonight1 · 30/12/2023 19:01

It is a bit thoughtless. Back in 2010 I visited a friend in hospital after a friend had given birth and I brought her a card and a bottle of champagne.

I still cringe when I think about it now! I was close to her partner as well so I should have given the champers to him and bought her something more practical.

Why?

I would’ve loved to have been given a bottle of champagne after having a baby. And most pissed off if my husband was given a bottle and I got something ‘practical’.

Sprogonthetyne · 30/12/2023 19:12

Doesn't help for now, but you can definitely drink while breastfeeding, which should be within the shelf life. I probably wouldn't drink a whole bottle to myself if I was looking after a baby, but if your sober enough to hold & care for a baby, your fine to feed.

Luxell934 · 30/12/2023 19:13

whomoon · 30/12/2023 19:03

Btw, it’s a self made hamper, not a store bought one. Hence me saying they could have removed it from the hamper.

So you'd be happy if he took it out and didn't replace it with anything? Whats the big deal that he left it in then? Just keep it till you can drink it, or regift it, or open it to share with family who aren't pregnant over the new year??

blackpanth · 30/12/2023 19:14

You can still breastfeed and drink alcohol

LikeItOrLumpIts · 30/12/2023 19:14

Tonight1 · 30/12/2023 19:01

It is a bit thoughtless. Back in 2010 I visited a friend in hospital after a friend had given birth and I brought her a card and a bottle of champagne.

I still cringe when I think about it now! I was close to her partner as well so I should have given the champers to him and bought her something more practical.

Um…why?

A friend of mine turned up in hospital after I’d give birth, with a bottle of wine and some smelly cheese. I was delighted!

littleteapot86 · 30/12/2023 19:19

at least you didn't get a gift for the baby. On my 30th my MIL gave me a toy for my as yet unborn child. 😅I thought you were supposed to get a Mulberry handbag for your 30th (well not quite, but you know what I mean...)

Peachtails · 30/12/2023 19:20

I'm 9 months pregnant and got some for Xmas too. I'll just drink it next year, no biggie!

NeverStopTwinkling · 30/12/2023 19:21

YAB a bit precious OP! About the drinking and about the 'has to be drunk within a year' thing. Also for me, bottles of prosecco/wine are generally a bit of give and take - if I have one to hand I'll grab it and take it to a party or for a friend's birthday etc. I'm not agonising over the dates and whether or not they'll be able to drink it within 12 months of it being bottled.

My MIL tells the story of giving birth in America where, after delivering my DH, the staff brought round a little tray with glasses of champagne on it for the celebrating parents!

ActDottie · 30/12/2023 19:22

You can drink while breastfeeding and tbh you can have the odd glass in pregnancy. It wouldn’t surprise me if they had already bought the gifts before your announcement as it sounds like you didn’t give much notice. I’m pregnant currently and couldn’t really get worked up by this.

Bearbookagainandagain · 30/12/2023 19:22

If you normally drink alcohol, then I would think this is a brilliant present for someone giving birth soon!
Although it's your choice not to, most women around me drink whilst breastfeeding (as it's safe per NHS guidelines), so it's not as obvious as you might think.

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 30/12/2023 19:23

You are being a bit precious here. Most people keep some alcohol in the house, it’s hardly unusual.

DontGoGran · 30/12/2023 19:25

And here's me with a miniature gin and can of tonic in my hospital bag to enjoy after baby is born 😂

You can drink whilst breastfeeding, the amount that passes to the baby is nominal, and you'd have to be absolutely plastered for it to make even an iota of difference.

Enjoy the prosecco when baby is born, as was probably intended when it was still gifted to you and not swapped for something else.

HotChocolateWithCointreau · 30/12/2023 19:26

It's a bit thoughtless BUT you're being exceptionally precious. I'm assuming it's your first baby!

HotChocolateWithCointreau · 30/12/2023 19:29

Tonight1 · 30/12/2023 19:01

It is a bit thoughtless. Back in 2010 I visited a friend in hospital after a friend had given birth and I brought her a card and a bottle of champagne.

I still cringe when I think about it now! I was close to her partner as well so I should have given the champers to him and bought her something more practical.

Why on earth are you cringing? It's more than fine as a gift

Imnotarestaurant · 30/12/2023 19:31

The last few baby showers I’ve been to the mum-to-be have been given bubbly for once the baby is born- none of them were offended.

Snowonthebeachx · 30/12/2023 19:32

You can drink when you are breastfeeding. You probably won't be getting wasted as you have a small baby but you can drink within the recommended amount no problem.

Tbh the odd small glass of wine/ half a glass of fizz at a wedding whilst pregnant is probably fine as well.

I couldn't get worked up about this. A gift is a gift. You won't be pregnant forever. I don't much care for prosecco so I just regift usually anyway.

Luzina · 30/12/2023 19:32

It is thoughtless. I am t2 diabetic and a close family member regularly gives me expensive boxes of chocolates etc. I regift to a friend and she enjoys them but every year it annoys me.

starfishmummy · 30/12/2023 19:33

When my mother had my brother and I, she told me thst the hospital gave the new mothers stout as it was though to be a good iron supplement

I'm retired, this was in the dark ages!!