DH doesn't want to go on holiday....at all

[MooMaa83]

I know we're in a privileged position for being able to afford a holiday...We have an 8 year old and a 2 year old and for the last 10 years have had either no holiday or shit UK holidays which have been a complete washout in grotty air b n b's or camping. This year we are fortunate to have the funds to go abroad. I'd love to go away for a week of guaranteed sunshine and let the kids enjoy the pool/beach.

Our 2 year old has been an awful sleeper from day one, and we're both exhausted with managing that, plus our older daughter has ASD and with work etc things have been very stressful.

I mentioned a holiday abroad a couple of times before Christmas, met with unenthusiastic response from DH. I started looking seriously at deals the last couple of days and DH has said he doesn't want to go anywhere this year, that it will be too difficult with the kids and especially with the toddler not sleeping well. He was so negative about it, it's like he's turned into a boring grumpy old man and he's only 43! I feel like with how hard things have been and our lack of holidays that it's even more reason to go. The toddler's sleep is rubbish anyway, so we may as well be on the beach rather than moping around the house!

I just feel really disappointed that he's being so miserable and negative about it. But AIBU, is flying abroad with a non sleeping toddler and 8 year old too much? I was only thinking of short haul flight to Spain!

YABU- holiday is too hard/stressful in the circumstances
YANBU- he's being a grumpy sod, a holiday would be amazing!

I'm on your DHs side here 🤷‍♀️

Airports and planes will be absolute hell for you all and whoever has to sit next to you.

Airports and planes have been a breeze for us since DC were old enough to watch a tablet and wear kid size headphones. Which as I recall was about 2.5 yrs old. (It probably helped that screens were otherwise limited so it was a treat).

Team DH, I'm afraid. I have no desire to take my 20 month old abroad any time soon, and she is a good sleeper! Probably because she's a fucking tornado for 12 hours a day. Save your money and go when you can all enjoy it. Being away with no sleep and none of your usual conveniences is more miserable than being at home.

Sorry to go against the tide but I’m with you OP!!!!

We took DS (ND and awful sleeper) on holiday at 2 and although yes, pushing a crappy cheap stroller over sand is less than ideal and you do feel guilty when your kid watches 3 hrs of bullshit on a screen while you try and grab a few hrs of sleep…the memories and experiences are EVERYTHING!!

DS spoke about nothing else except the hotel for about a year after. Go tacky and child friendly…think kids club, bingo and an awful Elvis tribute act.

Yes it’s hard work but somehow a break from the monotony of life at home xx

I don't think I truly enjoyed a holiday until my youngest turned 4. Prior to that it was all the hassle and tiredness of usual day to day life but with the added inconvenience of being in unfamiliar surroundings and having less space. I would happily not have gone for a few years, but DH really loves holidays so I took the view that I could suck it up for the sake of 2 weeks a year and tried to make the best of it. Youngest is 5 now and our last holiday abroad was actually really fun. I was surprised to find I felt relaxed most of the time, which is not a feeling I have associated with being on holiday since I became a parent!

I think if you're determined to go abroad with a non- sleeping toddler you need to approach it with a particular mindset. You need to manage your expectations, tell yourself that it is unlikely to be a relaxing experience, and thats ok because even if its stressful at times there will be nice moments. You need to adjust your idea of what a beach holiday looks like, because if you compare it to pre DC experiences of lazing on the beach drinking cocktails you'll feel short changed. But if you approach it as a change of scenery rather than a "break" you're less likely to be disappointed.

Absolutely agree.. my son loves cruising and has done it since he was 1

Yes that’s what works well for my autistic son. That’s the only way we can take him abroad, flying would be a massive no no now!

And nowhere to escape to, or other restaurants to try
Absolute hell

I’d be too worried about how to keep non sleeping toddler quiet at night and early morning
so I didn’t ruin other peoples holidays

Try something like centre parks, where bad weather simply means going into the weather proof dome.
Or days out, holiday at home with plenty of takeaways and toddler-tiring activities

Well, having just booked a first abroad holiday for this summer with 2 year old, I'm hoping it's not going to be the 'hell' that some posters describe...

Of all the things I have read on here - that is shocking. Your husband is a complete shit but you know this already. And what kind of a family supports such selfish callous behaviour? I swear, as fellow cancer survivor, if I had the money I would PAY you to leave him.

Take care OP.

Kitkatcatflap think you may have put this on the wrong thread? (PS congrats on the cancer survival)

Hope you have a lovely time, i've never had a hell holiday with my daughter at any age, the most difficult holiday was the one and only UK one we did as the weather was shit and we didn't have much to do.