Name changed for this as potentially quite outing to friends who know our situation, I also need to give a little bit of back story to this.
Every year we (DP, our two DC and I) spend NYE at my MIL’s house, she’s mid sixties and alone. Divorced from DP’s dad when he was very small and never met anyone new in nearly 40 years, she lives around 45 minutes away and we always stop over. We never do anything other than eat a bit of a picky buffet and then stay up watching the TV, all going to bed as soon as we have seen in the new year. We do this because DP’s sister died around 15 years ago when she was in her early 20’s and her birthday was New Year’s Day so understandably DP does not want her to be alone. MIL and I are not close, I would say we tolerate each other and I am always polite, but I always feel incredibly uncomfortable stopping at her house so only do this on Christmas Day and NYE.
Now the issue at hand, my nanna is dying, she’s in her 90’s and has always had fairly okayish health until very recently, it’s been a tough couple of months but the last few weeks particularly difficult, she spent Christmas in hospital and we have been told this morning by the doctors and palliative care team that she only has a matter of days left. I have mentioned to DP that I don’t think I will be attending our usual plans at his mums on NYE, obviously we don’t know what will happen over the coming days but regardless I either need to be near home so that I can either be at the hospital or get up to the hospital quickly or when my nan passes I want to be here to be there for my DM who is heartbroken at the thought of losing her mum.
DP has gone in a grump with me and is annoyed about the whole situation. I have suggested a number of options (he go to MIL’s with DC and I stay home - no he wants me to be with them to see in the new year. We all stay home and then he go over to MIL’s early NYD to spend with MIL either with DC or without - no he doesn’t want to do this). He basically wants nothing to change this year and although he has been incredibly supportive the last few weeks feels that we should stick to our usual plan for MIL.
AIBU to expect a little flex given the circumstances?