So my dad adopted me when I was 6 (mum is my biological mum) the man who got my mum pregnant wasn't interested and I've never seen or met him in my 34 years of being here and I never will. My dad was a fantastic dad and grandad and tragically died at 55 4 years ago. My daughter has no idea he adopted me, and I always felt I would tell her one day (she's 10 btw) but not yet. However, the problem here is someone else telling her. My cousin (dad's brothers daughter) used to relish in reminding me that we weren't 'real' family and our shared cousins were more her family than mine. This was gutting at the time but she was a horrible child. She has changed since then but unfortunately has also had, a horrible child of her own. Now I'm 99% sure knowing my cousin that she's told her daughter (who is also 10) that my dad adopted me. I'm so so worried she'll tell my daughter before I get the chance to, but equally I don't want to tell her either, as I'm worried it'll change her views on me and my family? I couldn't bare it if she thought they were all 'pretend' or whatever. For the record my other cousins are very close to me and never treated me like my other cousin did and the irony is that they don't speak to her anymore, just me. What do people think I should do regarding telling my daughter? Also to not drip feed,.this cousin of mine I still see as she's grown up to be a lot nicer but I still think she may have told her daughter this.
You are being unreasonable - tell her
You are not being unreasonable - don't tell her