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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman's weird behaviour at duck pond?

238 replies

QT3point14 · 29/12/2023 20:34

Aibu to find this woman weird?

Dh and I took the kids to our local park today. The park has a little pond with some ducks and swans and we walked down to the water as our kids wanted to see the birds.
At this pond, there was another family consisting of a Mum, Dad, and two young children. This family had brought some bread to feed the ducks. Their kids seemed to be loving it and were giggling away, the animals were loving it and our kids were loving watching it.

A random woman walks by with a toddler. She stops and passive aggressively tells her child using a very loud voice, so the other family can hear her that you shouldn't feed the ducks as it's not allowed. The other family ignored her and continued with what they were doing.

The random woman then took her child over to a rusty, dirty old sign and very loudly read it out to her child. The sign states not to feed the ducks as it can attract vermin. Again the family ignored her. She read the sign very loudly again! She then rants that they are feeding the ducks white bread and this is so super harmful. This behaviour went on for a good 5 minutes with the other family continuing to ignore her.

At this point I'm thinking wtf is she trying to achieve here? Either have the balls to approach the family and share your concerns or mind your own business. What on earth was she hoping to achieve by passive aggressively randting in the background? The park was pretty busy and loads of people were staring at this poor family that just wanted to enjoy some time together.

Is it just me or is this a bit bonkers?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
fedupwithbeinghot · 29/12/2023 22:31

inapickle2300 · 29/12/2023 22:05

Ducks and geese in our local pond nearly starved as people stopped feeding them bread. There was nowhere local to buy seed so they just didn’t feed them. Local authorities had to back track and say it was ok to give them bread again.

Same thing happened near me. I live by the Thames and the council had to backtrack on that because the swans were so underweight they were starving

Echobelly · 29/12/2023 22:35

I've seen people just totally politely tell others 'Excuse me, you shouldn't feed the ducks bread, it's not good for them'. No need to be an sshle like sign-reading lady!

AlanThePig · 29/12/2023 22:35

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 29/12/2023 22:26

I know of two arguments against feeding the ducks that I haven't seen mentioned here: One is the increased spread of diseases when lots of birds mill around in a small space, specifically bird flu. The RSPB currently advises against feeding ducks for this reason.

The other reason is that it attracts gulls. Gulls are aggressive and will eat anything, and in the breeding season that includes the other birds' eggs and chicks. Not what you want your kids to see when you've taken them for a lovely trip to the duck pond, is it 😬

In my experience gulls will circle a pond in breeding season regardless, little to do with bread and more to do with predatory instincts. Same with sparrow hawks. If we’ve had ducklings in the past I’ve put up reflective tape to try and scare them off but ultimately there is only so much you can do. Wildlife has a deeply unpleasant side to it, as was said above mating season is brutal, bloody and often fatal. A gull taking an egg is probably the best on the list for a kid to see.

As for bird flu, the response to that, again from experience, is laughable. After reporting a dead duck on my pond DEFRA could not have been less interested. Birds will always mill around a food source, be that human or natural.

Newsenmum · 29/12/2023 22:38

IWishItCouldBeEasterEveryday · 29/12/2023 20:39

Bread can kill ducks

So that’s what we were told near us but then people stopped feeding them and loads died. So now we’ve been encouraged to feed them bread again! basically bread isn’t great but it’s better then nothing.

The big issue is rotting bread which is obviously bad for them.

Yeah it’s annoying that the family ignored her but I would have given up.

Newsenmum · 29/12/2023 22:39

fedupwithbeinghot · 29/12/2023 22:31

Same thing happened near me. I live by the Thames and the council had to backtrack on that because the swans were so underweight they were starving

Show quote history

Yeah that’s like near us, it was awful. I just buy bags of duck food off Amazon but they prefer bread!

Smugandproud · 29/12/2023 22:39

We kept ducks for years and fed them the proper corn feed. However the local children often threw bread over the wall, we never stopped them and it never harmed the ducks.

Gatehouse77 · 29/12/2023 22:43

This is an article that covers different birds and the bread debate. The article you quoted only mentions swans.

Feeding ducks bread: Viral sign sparks anger and confusion https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-50081386

Photo of sign saying: "It's OK to feed us bread"

Feeding ducks bread: Viral sign sparks anger and confusion

A sign has stirred up confusion and angry debate about whether or not ducks should eat bread.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-50081386

Howbizzare22 · 29/12/2023 22:45

Im happy to read that bread is not harmful to ducks and so I will continue.
That woman’s aggressive behaviour was batshit she’s lucky they were nice people & they didn’t retaliate with her level of aggression but then I suspect that’s why she felt she could rent & rave at them. About something that’s lit even true. Self righteous do-gooder jumping on every trendy bandwagon she’s read about on fucking Facebook. I pity her kids.

Londoner89 · 29/12/2023 22:47

To be fair I get upset when I (always) see people feeding ducks bread and irritated with the lack of common sense. Not only is bread bad for ducks, it fills them up so they are not hungry for the food they are meant to eat, AND it breeds bacteria in the water that kills the algae and microbes that they’re meant to eat.
YABU

Makemydaypunk · 29/12/2023 22:48

WiddlinDiddlin · 29/12/2023 20:48

https://www.theswansanctuary.org.uk/cause/official-statement-bread-queens-swan-marker/

Not so clear cut though - whilst white bread isn't a great diet, in many areas in winter wild water fowl will starve if people stop feeding them. Its good to encourage people to feed other things, but in places where 'ban the bread' campaigns worked... they saw birds dying of starvation, because people simply stop feeding altogether rather than switching to feeding more appropriate foods.

I live near a swan 'sanctuary' (just an area of the river bank swans are fed and monitored) and we are encourage to feed, including bread, but also advised to feed small amounts in the water not on the path (reduces vermin) and only what they will clear up in a few seconds before offering more. This has worked well and we're no longer seeing starving ducks and swans!

Thanks for posting this I was just coming on to do the same and post the link from the Swan Sanctuary, it’s horrible to think of birds starving because of misinformation about bread.

user1496146479 · 29/12/2023 22:49

uclpp · 29/12/2023 22:23

She should have been civil and spoken to them politely, pointing out the sign. Her loud “parenting” was passive aggressive and ridiculous.

She was in the right though. The sign said don’t feed them. Therefore the family shouldn’t have fed them. Very simple rule. Doesn’t matter what internet research people do - the sign gives orders. Don’t want to abide by them and think you know better- then go somewhere without a sign.

This made me laugh! Because 'the sign' said so!!
Critical thinking front & centre here folks!
By all means obey 'signs' for important things, but ducks, follow the science!

Original poster
QT3point14 · 29/12/2023 22:51

CurlewKate · 29/12/2023 22:00

@QT3point14 "Also, if I seen someone committing a REAL crime, I'd still stand back and do absolutely nothing because guess what? It's NONE OF MY BUSINESS!"

Jesus Christ-what a lovely society you want to live in!

I'm not a hero and won't pretend to be and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

OP posts:
Ciri · 29/12/2023 22:52

Bread is NOT dangerous for ducks. It’s an urban myth!

Original poster
QT3point14 · 29/12/2023 22:53

FluffyFanny · 29/12/2023 22:08

What a strange post!

There is a family completely dis-regarding the signs to not feed the ducks, and a woman trying to highlight their ignorance- albeit badly. Yet you think it's the woman in the wrong!

Why is it the woman's responsibility to speak to the family about the feeding of bread to the ducks? There are signs- it's the family's fault and their own responsibility to read the signs and educate themselves. Anybody who hasn't yet been told, read about or heard about not feeding ducks bread are either stupid or deliberately ignoring the signs.

Said the "stupid" one that didn't rtft!

OP posts:
Gagaandgag · 29/12/2023 22:59

She was right but obviously found it too difficult to approach them

AdobeWanKenobi · 29/12/2023 23:02

Londoner89 · 29/12/2023 22:47

To be fair I get upset when I (always) see people feeding ducks bread and irritated with the lack of common sense. Not only is bread bad for ducks, it fills them up so they are not hungry for the food they are meant to eat, AND it breeds bacteria in the water that kills the algae and microbes that they’re meant to eat.
YABU

You’ve not read the thread have you?

ReadingSoManyThreads · 29/12/2023 23:03

Good for random woman!! I have told (directly, not passive aggressively) families that bread is harmful to ducks and advised what they should feed instead and I've actually been told to fuck off.

Maybe these people should fucking listen and learn from those trying to educate them.

FreshWinterMorning · 29/12/2023 23:04

ReadingSoManyThreads · 29/12/2023 23:03

Good for random woman!! I have told (directly, not passive aggressively) families that bread is harmful to ducks and advised what they should feed instead and I've actually been told to fuck off.

Maybe these people should fucking listen and learn from those trying to educate them.

Keep telling them! Maybe eventually it will get through to people!

OpalOrchid · 29/12/2023 23:04

ReadingSoManyThreads · 29/12/2023 23:03

Good for random woman!! I have told (directly, not passive aggressively) families that bread is harmful to ducks and advised what they should feed instead and I've actually been told to fuck off.

Maybe these people should fucking listen and learn from those trying to educate them.

I would have told you to fuck off too.

Findingmypurposeinlife · 29/12/2023 23:08

It's not you. This is a bit bonkers. Ducks have been fed bread, well....probably as long as bread has been around. And ducks are still thriving.
I would give food sparingly i.e. what they actually consume to avoid wastage (Although they can get through quite a lot 😅)
I've even fed geese a few times by hand (with food that was being sold specifically for birds) which was quite amusing and wonderful! I've never had one nip me surprisingly! And amazingly, I am pretty certain they can even remember you (Kindness is wonderful) 😊
Happy new year OP 🤍

Woman's weird behaviour at duck pond?
Findingmypurposeinlife · 29/12/2023 23:09

OpalOrchid · 29/12/2023 23:04

I would have told you to fuck off too.

Show quote history

Me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

macaronicheezepleeze · 29/12/2023 23:10

What happened to all the ducks for decades before who ate bread that was thrown to them? I'm not saying it's untrue that it's not the best for them, but I swear this is a recent thing that people seem to get high and mighty about. No one mentioned this when I was growing up. Everyone took bread for the ducks.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 29/12/2023 23:11

Findingmypurposeinlife · 29/12/2023 23:09

Me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Well aren't you both delightful?

OpalOrchid · 29/12/2023 23:14

ReadingSoManyThreads · 29/12/2023 23:11

Well aren't you both delightful?

Show quote history

Yep.