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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH hiding his Christmas chocolate

104 replies

R87 · 29/12/2023 16:00

This is not a massive deal in the scheme of things but my partner and I have such different takes on the situation I want to see what others think…
As part of DH’s Christmas gift I bought him some chocolate bars. Today I was sorting out some of the stuff we’d stored in his wardrobe while hosting folks for Christmas and found the chocolate hidden in here. I received many boxes of chocolates, bottles of wine and gift vouchers to me personally from friends and family which I wouldn’t dream of hiding away or not sharing. They are in the kitchen and DH has enjoyed most of them with me already, as I’d expect. I asked him why he kept the chocolates here and he said they were his gift and just for him so why should he share them. It’s given me the ick tbh, AIBU?!

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 29/12/2023 16:01

So he’s happy to eat your treats but not share his
thats mean

Tilllly · 29/12/2023 16:01

Mine has done the same in the past
It's annoying

Reugny · 29/12/2023 16:01

AHH you are married.

You are stuck with him.

Meanness isn't attractive.

LordBummenbachsMagnificentBalls · 29/12/2023 16:09

I think it should be acceptable to keep your own special treats to yourself, I include you in this too, but I find the hiding them in his wardrobe a bit immature.

However, this is often influenced on upbringing- in my house treats had to be hidden or they would be snaffled by some other bastard in the house with no apology, maybe this was the case for him? He shouldn’t have eaten your treats though

MaryHinges · 29/12/2023 16:11

LTB!

KitchenMess · 29/12/2023 16:13

I hide my chocolate gifts because I tend to eat them slowly over a long period of time, if I shared them they'd get eaten quickly before I even get around to having one (for instance me and OH both got big boxes of chocolates for Christmas - he's almost eaten all of his already while I haven't even opened my box) but then I wouldn't eat someone else's. Its fine to keep gifts for yourself but its not fine if you do that but still expect to share your partner's.

dontgobaconmyheart · 29/12/2023 16:14

I do get the point but I just don't think I'd care? They are quite literally his and have been gifted to him so what does it have to do with anyone else where they're stored and what is the point of gifting a specific much wanted item if that person can't then reasonably expect for it not to be chipped away at by the household.

I was fortunate to get lots of chocolate/treats for christmas and almost all of it's sat downstairs, I'm completely fine with people having some if it's open and left out but there are a couple of specific things that are a once a year treat that I'm keeping elsewhere rather than them be finished off by someone who doesn't care either way about it. Equally I have popped them away because we have plenty and I'd rather save them for the new year when I'll enjoy them and they'll feel special. And yes of course I would offer someone/anyone one if they were there when I was eating them, it's not some extreme thing - just common sense surely.

Unless he's tight fisted in general, which is a bit of an ick admittedly, I'd let it go.

mottytotty · 29/12/2023 16:14

Start hiding your own chocolate too.

If he objects, then you know he’s a selfish prick.

Fnicks · 29/12/2023 16:15

It sounds like he put them out of the way while guests were there, which makes sense. Surely there's food and treats for everyone and his 'gift" from you was separate.

Brefugee · 29/12/2023 16:15

so don't share your presents then, it's really very simple.

Damnedidont · 29/12/2023 16:15

Have you asked him why it's ok to eat yours but won't share his ?

Alloveragain3 · 29/12/2023 16:16

They are his though. So it's up to him what he does.

You've chosen to share and possibly get some sort of satisfaction out of doing this, and seeing others enjoying themselves?
If you don't want to share, hide your stuff too!

If you're happy sharing, crack on, but you can't make everyone do the same.

UsingChangeofName · 29/12/2023 16:22

Perfectly reasonable to have your own special treat, to eat, as and when you want, over time.
Putting them in to the 'general pot' means they are all hoovered up before you get a chance.
In our house, everyone keeps their own chocolate / treat supply. Up to each if they then pig out in the 2 days over Christmas, or go for one chocolate a day for the next 2 months.

YABU

SkyBlueBoy · 29/12/2023 16:25

MaryHinges · 29/12/2023 16:11

LTB!

😂😂😂

Original poster
R87 · 29/12/2023 16:28

Thanks. Possibly that’s it - he’s the youngest in a big family but it’s just the two of us in the household now.

OP posts:
CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 29/12/2023 16:30

I asked him why he kept the chocolates here and he said they were his gift and just for him so why should he share them.

I hope you asked him why he'd been so willing to eat your chocolates then! Why hadn't he said "oh no, those are yours! You keep them and I'll have some of mine"

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 29/12/2023 16:31

We tend to share everything, but I won't open DHs gifts and he won't open mine. We also wouldn't expect to share each others. But because there's a mutual respect of each others gifts there, neither of us need to hide them. And while DC can't reach they just stay on the top shelf of the fridge, or the treat shelf in the cupboard til whoever it was bought for gets it, or says we should open it.

If he was hiding chocolate from me, I'd see it as him not trusting me to respect his gifts and that's a totally different problem. He would only have to say, I'd really like to have this one for myself and I'd be fine. Same would go for me. That aside, greediness and selfishness are very much ick factors in a partner.

neleh87 · 29/12/2023 16:32

They're his chocolates. He can do what he wants with them. You chose to share yours. You don't have to. I don't share my chocolates, just as I don't share the pyjamas I was given either.

DuploTrain · 29/12/2023 16:33

I hide chocolate sometimes so we don’t have too much in the kitchen at one time (out of sight, out of mind).

However when I brought it out of hiding it would go in the kitchen for us to both share. I wouldn’t eat it in secret.

Jackfrostnippingatmynose · 29/12/2023 16:38

So he hid it because he wanted to keep it for himself and not share but is happy to eat everyone elses (even the DCs chocolate?) My 'D'B has done this since he was a child and he's also a selfish prick of a man.

ginasevern · 29/12/2023 16:40

My xDH was like this. He would sit in a corner and munch through a box of chocolates surreptitiously, like a crab shovelling food into its mouth with his eyes looking from side to side. God it looked so fucking awful. I remember once we were going on holiday to Cornwall and there was a lay-by with a tea/coffee wagon in it. Without a word he pulled into the layby and bought himself a hot drink. He just stood there drinking it and then got back in the car. No offer to his 8 months pregnant wife!

Pigeonqueen · 29/12/2023 16:40

I think if they’re something specifically for him then that’s fair enough. We have enough snacks / chocolates in the kitchen to feed the 5000 but each of us 4 got given some special chocolates for Christmas as a treat (dh got jellybeans, dc and I got Hotel Chocolat selectors) and we’ve all kept them separately, we’d all be outraged if one of us helped themselves to someone else’s!

LusaBatoosa · 29/12/2023 16:41

Damnedidont · 29/12/2023 16:15

Have you asked him why it's ok to eat yours but won't share his ?

This. I’d be interested to hear his response.

Megifer · 29/12/2023 16:51

You've got the ick because he's acting like a 7 year old.

What adult Hamsters their chocolate away??? Cringing for him.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 29/12/2023 16:52

I hide my chocolates away from DH too as he would eat the box in one go or finish them off without replacing .