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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spooky thread alert

128 replies

Youngmewouldsaywhat · 28/12/2023 21:41

I am a grown up woman and my mother passed away recently.
I was very very sick last week and feeling a bit sorry for myself as thinking nobody really cares if I am not well apart from DH who’s been fantastic. In laws are not very demonstrative but to be fair don’t expect anyone to look after them either and when sick they tend to disappear. My own siblings tend to contact me when they need something but not very good if I need the support.

Anyways I survived and I am getting better every day. Now the spooky bit.

i went for a nap this afternoon as I felt exhausted and then I woke up with a bolt as I had something planned. I overslept so I sat up right quickly and opened and closed my eyes in the room that was dark but not too dark as it was 4 pm. Oh well I swear I saw my mum sitting up in bed all bathed in purple light. It was her alive and chatting like keeping me company.
I am sure it was not a dream as I was dreaming something totally different (I remember the dream) and she wasn’t in the dream. She was more like casually sitting up in the bed next to me and looking like her usual self I remember before she passed away. This didn’t scare me but made me feel like she was next to me saying look I am still here.

what is my AIBU?

AIBU - I imagined this and deceased relatives don’t come back to see us
AINBU - there’s still some conscience of deceased ones floating around and I just happened to capture some

I am puzzled tbh as it’s never happened to me. Maybe I am experiencing delirium 😜 but I am not that sick anymore just very very fatigued.

and since I am in bed not well… I would love to hear your spooky stories if you have any.

if you don’t believe please be kind…and let’s keep an open mind. It’s really nice to think that my mum was there today!

OP posts:
Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 28/12/2023 22:09

Bumping
I realise I have started the thread because I would love to hear of similar stories. I wouldn’t talk about this in RL… and I wonder how many experience the same but don’t dare talking about it ?

OP posts:
tickle62636262 · 28/12/2023 22:16

I'm not religious, but I work with people at the end of life. I think your Mum was there letting you know she was ok. My job has led me to believe that we don't know everything about the world and spirits. Although like I say, I'm not religious and wouldn't have believed any spiritual stuff before working in my current role. But I have seen too much. How lovely for you to experience this Flowers

decemberwasshit · 28/12/2023 22:19

That sounds lovely OP. If it brings you comfort doesn't matter if it's real or not! I'm a believer anyway, and I'm currently ill and would love to have a visit from a loved one who has passed.

Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 28/12/2023 22:29

@tickle62636262 - do you mind sharing more?

It felt like my mum was saying … I care for you I do… @decemberwasshit hope you get some signs too and above all get better soon!

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Scaredycat5 · 28/12/2023 22:41

Hi op, I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mum and also that you are feeling unwell.

When my grandad (dad's dad) died, this was before I was born when my dad was only 20, my dad said that he woke up in a cold sweat one night and saw his dad sat at the end of his bed looking at him as if to say everything was ok. My dad didn't mention it until his mum told him later the next day that he had visited her that night too. I'm generally quite a sceptical person but I fully believe my dad's story, whether it was a dream or what, but the fact they both felt it!

I hope that you are ok and find comfort in the meaning that you felt your mum there.

grumpycow1 · 28/12/2023 22:46

I was sleeping at my aunt’s house and we all went to bed. In the night we heard a loud crashing noise downstairs - we went down to find a candle burning through on to the wooden table… but no source of the crash. If we hadn’t got up there may be have been a fire. My uncle had recently passed and we all had the sense that he was there weirdly, looking over us. Still gives me shivers!

dooneyousmugelf · 28/12/2023 22:47

Very common phenomenon. It's nice that it's brought you some comfort Flowers

Katemax82 · 28/12/2023 22:57

When I attempted suicide aged 14, I have a hazy recollection of the trip to hospital which is very blotchy. Apparently I was half an hour away from death and was stretchered into hospital, however I remember being marched into hospital by someone, with longish hair and boots with a small heel. They were quite cross with me. Years later I saw my parents wedding photo and my dad (who I forgot to mention died 4 years before said suicide attempt) looked a lot like the person who marched me into hospital

Katemax82 · 28/12/2023 22:59

Oh and also, my mum only found me unconscious on my bed because she bought me this really old hippie beauty book at a Carboot sale, which looked like something my dad would buy. Otherwise she wouldn't have come into my room for hours

SecondHandFurniture · 28/12/2023 23:05

I don't necessarily believe conscious dead people are lurking about, but I also don't think we quite understand time and place as much as we think we do.

I really enjoy the Uncanny podcast on the subject.

Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 29/12/2023 14:00

@Scaredycat5 this sounds such a common thing to happen … I have heard several people say the same since my mum passed away. It sounds like time and space lines are blurred when people pass over the line? So nice to be able to believe that ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 29/12/2023 14:02

@grumpycow1 wow oh wow that’s such a comforting thought that someone is actually able to help from the other side. I would definitely start praying for these great souls even if I was not religious

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Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 29/12/2023 14:03

Thank you @dooneyousmugelf , sweet post

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Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 29/12/2023 14:06

@Katemax82 feeling honoured you are sharing this on this thread… Your dad must be really looking after yourself and he knew the time wasn’t right. Hope you have had the support you needed since and are now in a better place. ❤️🙏🏻

if life and deaths are just passing phases for all of us maybe your dad was showing you that there is still so much for you to experience in this physical dimension. Sending love ❤️

OP posts:
Newuser75 · 29/12/2023 14:07

A very similar thing has happened to me twice.

First when I lost my grandad and secondly when my father died.

I found it comforting.

Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 29/12/2023 14:07

@SecondHandFurniture I totally agree with this

OP posts:
Babyblackbear78 · 29/12/2023 14:16

I was very close to my grandmother, put it this way she was more of a mother to me. Every now and then I can smell the perfume that she used to wear. I can be watching tv and suddenly the smell will be there, it will linger for about 10 seconds and then go.

Strangely I was at my mums about 5 years ago, and out of the blue mum said ‘I smelt nanny again last night’. So both of us in different homes have smelt nan on numerous occasions.

theduchessofspork · 29/12/2023 14:17

I think it’s your brain comforting you, which is cool.

Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 29/12/2023 14:34

@Babyblackbear78 oh that is so validating don’t you think? A bit like she was giving you a shared experience which would make the whole experience more real 💐🥰

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Original poster
Youngmewouldsaywhat · 29/12/2023 19:07

@theduchessofspork that is a possibility but I wasn’t thinking remotely of her. Do you think that subconsciously we can build these links and produce an hologram that we see with out imagination?

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IHS · 29/12/2023 19:20

Time isn't linear and scientists know that there are other dimensions besides this one, so our loved ones are all still out there and we don't know what happens to us after death anyway.

thaegumathteth · 29/12/2023 19:26

I'm not really 'woo' but when ds was a newborn he was admitted to hospital with a mystery illness - he was floppy and wouldn't wake or feed. They were considering doing a lumbar puncture as bloods were inconclusive.

I was sat in the side room with him in the see through bassinet and it started rocking gently. I couldn't see or feel a draft. It lasted a few minutes then stopped and ds woke up and was totally 100% fine.

Logically I know it was just a coincidence but it was comforting nonetheless

Makkacakka · 29/12/2023 19:39

I'm generally skeptical. In the following days or weeks after my father passed, one night I dreamt he was calling me on my mobile. I answered it in my dream, but at that exact moment heard a real 'hello' and woke with a fright. My DH was beside me and it's possibly he made a noise perhaps. But he wasn't snoring, and doesn't usually. Perhaps I just dreamt the 'hello' but just thought I'd really heard it. I like to think there is a possibility he was making contact, even though I mostly doubt it.

SnottyLittleMango · 29/12/2023 19:50

Was feeling really sad on the first Mother's Day after losing DM. Messaging with Dsis who said her son was really happy because he'd seen a robin in the garden that morning and someone had told him it was a visitor from heaven. Looked up from my phone to see a robin on the windowsill looking through the window at me - we live on a busy road so pretty unusual, and felt so comforting at the time.

merryandbrightdelight · 29/12/2023 20:11

After my Grandparents passed, my parents moved into their old house. A few weeks went by and both my Mum and my Dad heard the noise of my Grandad clearing his throat and footsteps across the landing, both at different times. Hasn't happened since, and although it spooked them both it was also a comfort