To have a bath when DH gets home

[Tralafala]

We have three kids. I'm a sahm. Kids are all under four years old and don't go to nursery (oldest goes to school nursery in the mornings for two hours). Life is hectic. By the time DH gets home I'm frazzled. I do all the night wakes as baby is breastfed and toddler is just out of nappies at night so wakes a lot to go for a wee and DH doesn't hear. DH works hard, is contracted 8-4.30 in a stressful job, and most days stays until about 5.30pm getting home around 5.45pm.

Aibu to go for a 45 min bath when he gets home? He feels that his day has been stressful and that is more than half of the time left until bedtime so not an even split. I feel that he should stop taking on more work and prioritise energy for the family so if he chooses to stay later then a) it makes my day longer and b) I have earned a relax.

This is about the only thing we disagree on. Help us navigate!

I understand that being home with young children can be demanding, tedious and rewarding. I agree with others that timing your bath or shower should fit in with both of you. My biggest piece of advice is to get your baby in their cot to sleep, rather than swapping parents to hold the baby. Then the evening is child and baby free.

He gets in, has a cuppa then spends quality time (45 mins) bonding and enjoying the kids while you bath. This seems fair to me as you’re 24/7 with the kids including multiple night wakes. He gets lunchtime breaks and to commute in peace.

Of course YANBU. Enjoy your bath, he gets off easy!

Definitely not being unreasonable! My husband always underestimates the luxury of having the autonomy throughout the day to choose when to pee and eat etc. Being a SAHM is bloody demanding. You’re a chef, climbing frame, nappy changer, the entertainment manager, referee, cleaner (to name but a few job roles) and the over stimulation is REAL.
A bath is definitely not out of the question. Although, my experience is they still find me in there and then it’s cut short. So fingers crossed if you can convince him, you actually get the time you need ❤️ If not, just go for a walk. I find the fresh helps to give me a reset before the nighttime fun begins. If nothing else, it gives him a little taste of what you have to deal with during the day 🥴

45 minutes in the bath when he’s just got in from work is taking the piss, IMO.