To be angry at DH

[ThreeApples]

It’s been a rough few days over Xmas as we have all been unwell (DH, DD aged 2, and myself 19 weeks preg), plus hosting in-laws and my fam for 2 nights.

The 3 of us are still unwell. I had a midwives’ appt this morning and then needed to go to A&E due to shortness of breath. DH was looking after DD and dog. Get a phone call whilst I’m in A&E from DH to say dog has got hold of raisin bar that DD hadn’t eaten, and ingested it. Now, I don’t have such bars in the house (we do have raisins but are super careful with them). It turns out MIL has brought them and instead of DH checking whether we want them, he’s just put them in the snack cupboard.

Anyway now DH has taken dog (and DD had to be woken from her nap to accompany them) to vets at a cost of £300 and dog needs a 2 night stay at an animal hospital at a cost of £1.5k. I get back from A&E and DH has stormed off upstairs saying I’m ’not being supportive and that I ‘blame him’. I’ve tried to say it’s just an accident and he’s tired/unwell, but I do the lion’s share of looking after DD plus dog and nothing like this has ever happened.

AIBU to be annoyed?!

And there's clearly someone who hasn't read the thread, pronouncing on a subject they equally clearly know nothing about.

A small percentage of dogs will react so badly to grape products that it will kill them, and by the time they show any symptoms it can be too late. This has been said a number of times.

Totally this

You were just lucky - that's all.

There's no way to know whether your dog is one of the unlucky ones until it's too late.

Raisins are not like chocolate in that respect. I'm glad your dog isn't affected but your advice is very dangerous.

This!

Our dogs (many, many dogs) have pinched/been given raisin biscuits, the remains of stews with onions in, chocolate etc, and none of them have even had an upset tummy.

(I am aware that I have probably been vey lucky etc)

I think YABU. My dog managed to get hold of a box of chocolates and ate them "on my watch" a couple of months ago. I would be very unhappy if DH had started to blame me, but thankfully he wouldn't dream of doing so.

It cost me £300 for the injection and they also said it would be about £1500 to keep him in overnight for monitoring. But this was an option, which I declined and they said most people decline and simply monitor their dog themselves.

To those people saying that there was no need to go to the vet unless the dog looked ill, this is totally not correct. The toxins would already be in the blood stream before you would notice anything and by that time it will be too late. Depending on size of dog and amount of chocolate / raisins / grapes consumed, immediate treatment may be required.

That vet is taking the piss. We have horses and an equine vet will charge about a quarter of that quoted number. In addition, the equine vet goes to visit ill horses wherever they are stabled. Small animal vet fees are like the wild west.

Chocolate and onions are toxic in a different way to raisins and grapes. Everyone advising against ‘rushing to the vets’ is wrong where raisins and grapes are concerned as it’s basically Russian roulette. It’s not diarrhoea from licking the curry leftovers or scoffing a few choc chip cookies. It’s irreversible kidney failure and a painful death if your dog is an unlucky one. Her DH did the right thing.

I hope your dog is OK, and that you all feel better soon, OP.

Will people please stop posting that their dog ate a whole fruit cake and was absolutely fine, so the OPs dog will be too. Vets must find these kinds of threads infuriating.

Because corner shop chocolate is not really chocolate. It's sugar, milk and fat dyed brown with minimal cocoa powder. Back in the day, you couldn't get real chocolate even in big supermarkets.

In most cases a few raisins will just make a dog ill with V&D. Toxicity is about a 1 to 50 ratio. 200g will generally cause kidney failure in a 10K dog - but it's unpredictable, in some cases it could be a lot less.

Fuck me, but some vets take the proverbial these days!

Can you clarify how this mini daxie got the bar from the snack cupboard? or table?
Is he sure the dog ate it? 2 night stay is excessive, did they not give apomorphine to induce vomiting??

Oh god… nightmare! To all those saying ‘there’s no real evidence it affects animals’ - one of my cats got into a box of pain aux raisins (opened the motherfudging microwave to do so as well!). This was before we knew that it could be dangerous for some animals. Poor thing ended up on a drip for three days as his liver started shutting down. If I hadn’t done a Google and decided that it might be worth calling the emergency vets on a Saturday afternoon, racking up a three grand bill (covered by insurance), he would have been dead by Sunday. We still have to watch certain foods now around him as his liver has been irreparably damaged. Our other cat? No issues whatsoever.

Your DH made the right decision when a complete freak accident happened, that was not his fault, and he handled in the best way he could while being ill and you were dealing with your own nightmare situation. You guys have had a really rough day, and at the back of both your minds will be the fact that you don’t even know if you'll see your darling dog again. And you’ll both be worried about you, pregnant and having to go to A&E - I hope everything is clear and you and the peanut are ok, by the way.

That’s all a lot of worry for any family to deal with. No wonder you’re both snappy and looking to deflect that fear onto someone else. Give him a huge hug. Give your daughter a huge hug. Try not to look at photos of your dog, while you both worry quietly. Tell him he’s been amazing sorting all that while you were in the hospital and share your worries about all of it. Make it you guys against the world - plague might strike the family, A&E at Christmas might hit, your dog might end up in the very expensive creature hospital…but together, it’ll never get you down (even though it’s fecking typical at this time of year, when you’re all supposed to be Hallmark movie happy 😂).

Sending you all the strength and hugs, and hope you’re all feeling better soon, pooch included!

Did you get your vet qualification from an RG uni then?!!

Wow. DH makes the very serious mistake of not checking what’s in a food he’s been given, and of putting a potentially lethal raisin bar where the dog can and does get it. Easily done, but but when you have animals you know it’s essential to check.

Yet somehow it’s OP who gets shouted at.

Well done H for a neat bit of responsibility-avoidance there. OP wasn’t making a fuss, so no one needed to be blamed. But hey, land it on your wife just in case.

This

When my dog ate something he shouldn't i took him to the vets and they gave him an injection to make him sick. When they were sure there was nothing left they gave another jab to stop him feeling sick. Dog was around 8 or 9 kilos at the time. They sent us home with liquid charcoal in case there was anything left. No overnight stay. About £150 i think it was.

@LaughingCat yours is a really nice post and I wholeheartedly agree

@ThreeApples it's been a rough day but when you asked your dh " who put it there" what was he meant to answer? my mother? Knowing you would go off on a rant. He likely feels you would not want to hear his side of it. This is why he is ranting and has stormed off. He doesn't want to have to be between you and his mother anymore.. You need some support from him too A&E when pregnant is scary. So standing together is a good idea.

My dog LOVES chocolate (we don't give it to him) but he is a hound and he can sniff chocolate out as soon as it is in the house (high cupboards or locked away these days) He ate an entire chocolate cake we did take him to the vet *during covid. he was made to throw up and they did say they could keep him at x cost but we could have him home too. We took him home. Later that same year he ate an entire box of mince pies. (he has a sweet tooth clearly!!) and another trip to the emergency vet who only very reluctantly agreed for him to be released for us to monitor him overnight they also said 2 days stay. We were uncomfortable with this vet so we felt we could look after him at home.

I can believe that the vet said to keep him in and I think your dh reacted well to a emergency situation.

Yes, we do.
Particularly when idiots pipe up saying that vet fees are a rip off. Try going private as a human, staying in hospital for 2 days on a drip over a holiday period and see what you get charged.

What is the average hourly rate for a plumber? Mechanic? Lawyer? Any professional service. But vets and the rest of the clinic staff are expected to do it all for the love of animals. Love doesn't pay the wages.

The plumber we use at work charges £120 for the first hour and £80 for the second without parts. An electrician is similar.

I don't think the vet bills ever are extortionate.

Are you comparing a dog sat in a cage with a vet and vet nurses with someone receiving hospital treatment being seen by multiple specialists? My Thai stepmum came to the uk without insurance and ended up in hospital for 3 days, x rays, IV, 8 blood tests, lab work amongst other things (was a massive itemised bill including food etc) came to £1400

louis

or you know, you put them somewhere SAFE where toddlers & dogs can't get to them.

A miniature daschund was able to open the snack cupboard and get raisin bars out?

Even if the snack cupboard is at floor level that seems rather unlikely. Sounds much more probable that DH just left them lying around in the kitchen and said he’d put them in the snack cupboard to make himself seem less at fault.

Do you not have insurance?!

@Chilicabbage

Lots of people are letting ther dogs eat raisins??

@DiddyHeck I wasn't commenting on what she wrote but the comments above me & the OP's DH attitude. Clearly she's VERY careful and he doesn't listen to her, or he would be too