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Original poster

To see a medium

80 replies

DespairingandDesperate · 27/12/2023 02:21

My lovely Dad died just before Christmas. Many years ago Dad and I promised one another that whichever one of us died first, that person would come back and visit the living one and make him/herself known.

It's been going on a week now, and "no word" from Dad. I was wondering if I should go and seek help from a medium, or spiritual advisor as they are apparently called.

If a friend was asking me if they should do this I'd probably say I think you're insane and wasting your money... but now I'm in this situation, I'd give anything to receive a message from Dad.

Could it possibly be real?

OP posts:
Goingtothinkofone · 27/12/2023 02:24

I think if you’re asking you probably know mediums aren’t real. If they were, we’d all use them.

However if it will make you feel better by all means do it. Just please don’t get ripped off for lots of money.

I think the good ‘mediums’ will perform a bit of a function like a therapist and help you to have the conversation you’d want to have with your loved one.

i’m sorry for your loss xxx

jillgreen · 27/12/2023 02:36

I don't believe in mediums and I think pretending to be communicating with others' late relatives is immoral at best. That said, if you're a spiritual person then perhaps there are other ways you can connect with your dad that are your own. For example, going and sitting on the park bench that a loved one always sat in to feel their presence next to you. Perhaps lighting a candle in a particular place at a particular time. Only you would know what that thing is for your dad.

I'm so sorry for your loss, it sounds like you were very close.

flowerchild2000 · 27/12/2023 02:38

I would wait a bit, a week isn't very long and who knows what he's up to or what his timeline is like. He's not in the physical like we are and if you know anything about physics time is an aspect of physical reality. So he may not be subject to that, and also might be busy doing other things. Maybe he's caught up in a family reunion. I would give him more time. I don't think it will hurt either way though. I've only heard good things about mediums so why not?

samestyle · 27/12/2023 02:49

I am a spiritual person and believe in afterlife but I wouldn't pay a medium, or if you do decide to then don't pay too much, I would also get through the worst of your grief first before deciding. If you're open to it then you will see signs, a dream or a memory that suddenly comes to you out of nowhere, it could be him trying to connect to you. My dad had a habit of turning the tv on to let me know he was still here, or changing it to his favourite channel.
I know it's a difficult time right now, but once the shock has faded you will start thinking of more positive memories you did have.

slithytoveisascientist · 27/12/2023 02:51

Im really sorry for your loss. Wait a year and a day.

salsmum · 27/12/2023 03:34

I would advise you to go to a spiritualist church not long services like a 'normal' church and you may get a message for a donation in the tray. Good luck!

SpecialCharacters · 27/12/2023 03:48

No, don’t go. Notwithstanding that mediums are scam artists, you shouldn’t let one ‘corrupt’ your relationship and memories with your dad, even if they’re peddling the ‘nicer’ untruths.

Sorry for your loss.

chergar · 27/12/2023 04:17

The Dragonfly:

Down below the surface of a quiet pond lived a little colony of water bugs.
They were a happy colony, living far away from the sun. For many months they were very busy, scurrying over the soft mud on the bottom of the pond. They did notice that every once in awhile one of their colony seemed to lose interest in going about. Clinging to the stem of a pond lily it gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.

Look! said one of the water bugs to another. one of our colony is climbing up the lily stalk. Where do you think she is going? Up – up – up it slowly went….Even as they watched, the water bug disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn’t return…
That’s funny! said one water bug to another. Wasn’t she happy here? asked a second… Where do you suppose she went? wondered a third.

No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled. Finally one of the water bugs, a leader in the colony, gathered its friends together. I have an idea. The next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why.
We promise – they said solemnly.
One spring day, not long after, the very water bug who had suggested the plan found himself climbing up the lily stalk. Up, up, up, he went. Before he knew what was happening, he had broke through the surface of the water and fallen onto the broad, green lily pad above.

When he awoke, he looked about with surprise. He couldn’t believe what he saw. A startling change had come to his old body. His movement revealed four silver wings and a long tail. Even as he struggled, he felt an impulse to move his wings…The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from the new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself up above the water. He had become a dragonfly!!

Swooping and dipping in great curves, he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere. By and by the new dragonfly lighted happily on a lily pad to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the pond. Why, he was right above his old friends, the water bugs! There they were scurrying around, just as he had been doing some time before.

The dragonfly remembered the promise: the next one of us who climbs up the lily stalk will come back and tell where he or she went and why. Without thinking, the dragonfly darted down. Suddenly he hit the surface of the water and bounced away. Now that he was a dragonfly, he could no longer go into the water…
I can’t return! he said in dismay. At least, I tried. But I can’t keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the water bugs would know me in my new body. I guess I’ll just have to wait until they become dragonflies too. Then they’ll understand what has happened to me, and where I went

Bogeyes · 27/12/2023 04:28

salsmum · 27/12/2023 03:34

I would advise you to go to a spiritualist church not long services like a 'normal' church and you may get a message for a donation in the tray. Good luck!

Love this

groovergirl · 27/12/2023 04:30

Sorry for your loss, OP. I know how it feels.

Give your dad time. Look out for small, odd happenings; interference with electric devices such as radios is a common sign. And try the Spiritualist Church, as a PP suggested. They will have people who can do a private reading for a reasonable fee. My late aunt was a minister in that church. They're a decent bunch.

LibbyL92 · 27/12/2023 04:57

I longed for signs from my uncle. He died last year.

the last couple of months the signs have started coming. Not often and not loads. But when they have the comfort is so strong.

I put a thread up on Xmas day about a sign we got.

I went to a medium years ago for a specific family member who I wanted to hear from. Nothing came through from them. Although other family members did.

I’ve heard spiritualist churches are great though. So I would head there?

Roselilly36 · 27/12/2023 07:09

So sorry for your loss, grief is so hard I know. But it is really too soon to see a Medium. I have seen a Medium a few times, at a Spiritualist Church that was local to me at the time, I did bring me comfort and I don’t have any doubt that the messages were genuine. Wishing you all the best OP.

groovergirl · 27/12/2023 07:27

If you are seeking a reading at the Spiritualist Church, @LibbyL92 , I'd advise you to go with an open mind and low to moderate expectations. Private readings can be very tiring for the medium. They tune in to a barrage of chatter and it can take a while for them to find someone who wants to speak with you. The messages you get, if any, might not be what you expected to hear, nor might they be directly relevant to you. For example, I was warned of problems with a red car. My car was silver, but MIL's was red, so I warned her. MIL was perplexed, but thanked me. Then my cousin totalled her red Ford, inherited from her late mother, which she had not insured nor kept in good nick. 😞

Lucyccfc68 · 27/12/2023 07:33

groovergirl · 27/12/2023 07:27

If you are seeking a reading at the Spiritualist Church, @LibbyL92 , I'd advise you to go with an open mind and low to moderate expectations. Private readings can be very tiring for the medium. They tune in to a barrage of chatter and it can take a while for them to find someone who wants to speak with you. The messages you get, if any, might not be what you expected to hear, nor might they be directly relevant to you. For example, I was warned of problems with a red car. My car was silver, but MIL's was red, so I warned her. MIL was perplexed, but thanked me. Then my cousin totalled her red Ford, inherited from her late mother, which she had not insured nor kept in good nick. 😞

I’m sure ‘mediums’ can get very tired trying to work out who the most vulnerable are in the room, so they can scam them.

You do realise that statistically we all know someone with a red car!

BestGirl88 · 27/12/2023 07:36

I would watch someone like Matt Fraser online and book one of his group readings which are only 19 usd. Having said that, it does take normally 6 months to a year for them to learn to communicate from the other side. It’s like being a baby again you have to learn things.

Circularargument · 27/12/2023 07:39

salsmum · 27/12/2023 03:34

I would advise you to go to a spiritualist church not long services like a 'normal' church and you may get a message for a donation in the tray. Good luck!

Well, at least this comment has the virtue of being honest about the transaction. You pay and they invent a message.

Despicable preying on grief.

groovergirl · 27/12/2023 07:43

@Lucyccfc68 actually, after that episode 16 years ago, I no longer know anyone with a red car! Almost everyone I know, plus customers at my local market, has a white, gold or silver car. Red is rare where I live.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 27/12/2023 07:49

As it was 16 years ago, the tale will have moved on to a white, gold or silver car now...

megacat · 27/12/2023 08:27

@chergar that's lovely

groovergirl · 27/12/2023 08:28

Wow, let us test your awesome commercial-potential psychic skills, @NigelHarmansNewWife. Where do I live? Do you really think red cars have ever been common here?

Meanwhile, OP, your thread has been hijacked, which is not what you need when you are recently bereaved. This must have been a hard Christmas for you.

I am not religious; I am non-theist. I have a connection to the SC through my aunt and have sceptically taken the measure of it. PM me about the SC if you would like to. I do not "despicably prey on grief". That is the realm of professional counsellors. After many bereavements in the past decade I have learned the value of an understanding ear, offered at no charge.

Original poster
DespairingandDesperate · 27/12/2023 10:57

@chergar The dragonfly story is lovely. Thank you.

OP posts:
Lucyccfc68 · 27/12/2023 11:46

groovergirl · 27/12/2023 07:43

@Lucyccfc68 actually, after that episode 16 years ago, I no longer know anyone with a red car! Almost everyone I know, plus customers at my local market, has a white, gold or silver car. Red is rare where I live.

I notice how you jumped on my comment about car colour, rather than addressing the fact that mediums are scammers. (Red is currently the 5th most popular car colour and was even more so 16 years ago).

The OP has lost someone very dear to her in the last week and is looking for some comfort. A medium unfortunately won’t give this, as they don’t exist and no one can communicate with people who have passed. You came on here with some stupid story about being told about a problem with a red car when statistically (at the time) loads of people had a red car. At least one person would have put their hand up to knowing someone with a red car. It’s the same as her saying ‘I have a message from someone called John’. Loads of us will know someone called John.

The OP doesn’t need to hear this rubbish.

MasterBeth · 27/12/2023 12:14

It's not real, OP.

SausageChopsBellyFlops · 27/12/2023 12:30

If you book to see a medium they will absolutely pass on a message, that's their job, they will say something generic, and you will find comfort in it. Then what? You'll want to go again in a month, and another... that's the way these people work.

I know it's so hard when you've had such a massive, and recent loss and you're look for signs and meaning in everything. Unfortunately paying someone to make you feel better is a sticking plaster.

If you do believe in signs and messages, then believe that your lovely dad will send you them when he is able to, and it will mean so much more when it happens organically and unexpectedly.

25 years after the death of my son I still experience little things like a very obscure and random but meaningful to me song playing somewhere when im feeling low, other things (I won't put in here because people who don't believe in signs do take the piss).

Please don't pay someone to prey on your grief and tell you what you want to hear. This path you're on lasts a lifetime so don't rush your feelings.

Original poster
DespairingandDesperate · 27/12/2023 13:37

SausageChopsBellyFlops · 27/12/2023 12:30

If you book to see a medium they will absolutely pass on a message, that's their job, they will say something generic, and you will find comfort in it. Then what? You'll want to go again in a month, and another... that's the way these people work.

I know it's so hard when you've had such a massive, and recent loss and you're look for signs and meaning in everything. Unfortunately paying someone to make you feel better is a sticking plaster.

If you do believe in signs and messages, then believe that your lovely dad will send you them when he is able to, and it will mean so much more when it happens organically and unexpectedly.

25 years after the death of my son I still experience little things like a very obscure and random but meaningful to me song playing somewhere when im feeling low, other things (I won't put in here because people who don't believe in signs do take the piss).

Please don't pay someone to prey on your grief and tell you what you want to hear. This path you're on lasts a lifetime so don't rush your feelings.

Thanks. Lots to think about.

OP posts:
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