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Original poster

To see a medium

80 replies

DespairingandDesperate · 27/12/2023 02:21

My lovely Dad died just before Christmas. Many years ago Dad and I promised one another that whichever one of us died first, that person would come back and visit the living one and make him/herself known.

It's been going on a week now, and "no word" from Dad. I was wondering if I should go and seek help from a medium, or spiritual advisor as they are apparently called.

If a friend was asking me if they should do this I'd probably say I think you're insane and wasting your money... but now I'm in this situation, I'd give anything to receive a message from Dad.

Could it possibly be real?

OP posts:
Original poster
DespairingandDesperate · 27/12/2023 13:40

Big thanks to all who have replied. I appreciate the honest and diverse thoughts on this subject. You are all very kind. ❤

OP posts:
Original poster
DespairingandDesperate · 28/12/2023 01:38

groovergirl · 27/12/2023 08:28

Wow, let us test your awesome commercial-potential psychic skills, @NigelHarmansNewWife. Where do I live? Do you really think red cars have ever been common here?

Meanwhile, OP, your thread has been hijacked, which is not what you need when you are recently bereaved. This must have been a hard Christmas for you.

I am not religious; I am non-theist. I have a connection to the SC through my aunt and have sceptically taken the measure of it. PM me about the SC if you would like to. I do not "despicably prey on grief". That is the realm of professional counsellors. After many bereavements in the past decade I have learned the value of an understanding ear, offered at no charge.

@groovergirl Thanks. I have sent you a PM.

OP posts:
Frabbits · 28/12/2023 01:43

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

But mediums are scam artists. Don't let yourself be a victim and throw your money away. Give it to a charity that your dad would have supported and connect to him in a positive way.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 28/12/2023 01:53

It's up to you, OP, plenty of people try it whether they believe it or not. But I will say to you that if I continue in some ethereal form after my death and I get a chance to send a message to my child or husband via a cooperative medium, I really hope I can come up something a bit more helpful than "beware of problems with red cars" 🙃

Kommm · 28/12/2023 01:54

Took nearly a year for my grandad to visit, in a dream, look out for those.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 28/12/2023 01:55

I'm sorry, OP, I should have led with condolences. It's a huge loss. I think some of the more scathing responses here are because of that. It's foul to cheat a bereaved person into parting with their money for a bogus message.

septto · 28/12/2023 02:05

I like that @chergar

septto · 28/12/2023 02:10

I'm sorry for your loss, OP. I would give it time.

I don't know about mediums. I think some are good at reading people perhaps. I don't believe they're conversing with the dead. My relative went to see one and was told a load of old, vague rubbish about our mutual relative. I didn't say anything to them, as they had clearly bought into it, but I felt cross.

Original poster
DespairingandDesperate · 28/12/2023 23:34

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 28/12/2023 01:55

I'm sorry, OP, I should have led with condolences. It's a huge loss. I think some of the more scathing responses here are because of that. It's foul to cheat a bereaved person into parting with their money for a bogus message.

I felt exactly the same when a good friend lost her parents a few years back. Also when I went to a vigil at a well-known 'haunted' castle and the guide convinced a young girl that her dead grandmother was standing behind her. The girl was absolutely in bits weeping, and I wanted to punch the guide as it was clearly fake.

OP posts:
Original poster
DespairingandDesperate · 28/12/2023 23:39

I have thought of all kinds of variations on @chergar 's dragonfly story over the past week. Maybe spirits have lost their humanity and attachments to things in this realm – maybe they don't even remember the people who loved them – so why would they come back to visit us. Maybe their conception of time is so immense that they know we will be with them in their equivalent of a millisecond. Maybe they do still love us and just don't want to ruin the surprise... that there is a paradise after death. etc etc

I keep inviting my dear Dad to visit me in a dream but I haven't had a single dream (about anything) since he died.

OP posts:
Original poster
DespairingandDesperate · 28/12/2023 23:40

Kommm · 28/12/2023 01:54

Took nearly a year for my grandad to visit, in a dream, look out for those.

I have been asking both my parents (and my dog) to visit me in a dream but they never have...

OP posts:
Newdawns · 29/12/2023 00:26

Its not been long , but i so recognise the urge for contact.
i saw a medium who didnt advertise .she told me that he said to her to tell me about a very spefic object . It was unusual . No one else knew about it . It gave me great comfort . There is no way she could have guessed it .
i hope you get comfort from this too for now and when the time is right you do the best thing for you
sending love

Newdawns · 29/12/2023 00:28

I also asked my dad to come to me or give me a sign .
this did not happen for me .
it’s normal to so wish this
.
take care of y self and take things a day at a time .. even though i totally understand it feels like you need it now x

RockinAroundthejoint · 29/12/2023 00:38

@chergar ❤️

FallingStar21 · 29/12/2023 01:20

I think we just operate at different frequencies, so it's not an easy job for the "dead" to pick up the phone and communicate from the other world.
I believe there are people very much attuned and able to connect but they are rare, not run of the mill, stage mediums. I wouldn't even trust a spiritualist church to be honest OP. I've been to a couple of their events, the so called mediums were very hit and miss, a lot of "grandmas" coming through and information that no one in the audience could relate to.
If you do meet a real medium or clairvoyant though, you would know - there'll be no mixed or generic messages. But as others have said, don't waste your money. Your energy will be better spent on doing something yourself too - you can send love and prayers, do something in his honour, bring back memories, read his favorite book.

penjil · 29/12/2023 02:34

MasterBeth · 27/12/2023 12:14

It's not real, OP.

To you maybe.

But to millions of others, it is.

Don't tell people what to think. You don't have that right.

WavingCatsandDogs · 29/12/2023 03:18

@BestGirl88 Isn't amazing that these YouTube mediums 'blessed with this gift ' also manage to monetrize their so called 'gifts' and be the pushiest loud Ameicans preying on the vulnerable.

There are no messages, I have lost people, I have called and asked for signs. There are no signs. This is 2023. We have the technology should it be so.

Your loved one is in your heart and memories, dreams.

These people are vultures.

TippyToes123 · 29/12/2023 03:24

penjil · 29/12/2023 02:34

To you maybe.

But to millions of others, it is.

Don't tell people what to think. You don't have that right.

Show quote history

But it isn't real. Someone offered to train my mother (a nurse) to become a medium because she was very intuitive and good at reading people. My mother didn't take them up on the offer because she was horrified at the thought of taking advantage of bereaved people to make money. It is not real.

Circularargument · 29/12/2023 08:06

penjil · 29/12/2023 02:34

To you maybe.

But to millions of others, it is.

Don't tell people what to think. You don't have that right.

Show quote history

Utter bollocks. I have as much right as to tell someone that two plus two does not equal five. It's really that simple.
"Millions of people" believe that war is a great way to resolve disputes. That women should not get an education. That they should be mutilated as children. Etc etc etc. Wrong and harmful.

rainbowstardrops · 29/12/2023 08:26

I'm so sorry for your loss @DespairingandDesperate** I know how incredibly difficult it is.
I haven't personally been to a medium or whatever but I know people who have. A friend's daughter lives up north and she goes to medium evenings and has been very moved. They only ask for a couple of pounds. I'd be wary of going to one that charges a lot but I can understand why people do.
As others have said, take it easy and see how you feel going forward. The dragonfly story is beautiful. Take care Flowers

endchg · 29/12/2023 08:33

It's not real. I couldn't say that to my mother and sister at the time, as they seemed comforted, but I can say it here, as can others.

A few years ago at the theatre (he may have done a seance on TV too, but that's where I first saw it) Derek Brown did a medium 'turn' and managed to do readings from dead relatives for people in the audience. He's very good at reading people as we know and I think that's the explanation he gave as to how he did it.

endchg · 29/12/2023 08:39

I've looked it up and Darren Brown said he used the same method as clairvoyants, that of cold reading. I remember in the theatre that one person cried as he brought up fairly accurate details of their deceased relative.

I've also seen Derek Acorah at the theatre, in Manchester around 20 years ago! 😀 Need I say more there.

SweetFemaleAttitude · 29/12/2023 08:46

I've been to a Derren Brown gig, where he picked someone out the audience randomly and proceeded to tell her about her ded grandma and told her things nobody else could have possibly known.

This was from cold reading her and he kept reminding us all the way through that this was just a trick and the mediums were scammers.

If someone truly had a special gift that meant they could communicate with the dead, why would you say to someone in need, well I could give you some comfort, but you need to cross my palm with silver first.

It seems very cruel.

Newdawns · 29/12/2023 09:46

Op i agree that there are some meduims who give generic answers.
if you see one do a lot of research
the one i saw did not advertise and i only gave her £20 for 1.5 ish hours .

she told me dad was present by naming a very unusual gift i have him just before he died . No one else knew about this gift. I cd give people hundreds of guesses and they would not guess.
She also named a spefic singer who we talked about at one of out last conversations.the singer was someone not current at all .

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 29/12/2023 09:51

OP, in your present state of grief you are ripe for exploitation. Don't see a medium. If your dad wanted to and was able to send you a sign (without opening up a debate on whether this is possible) then he would send you one directly - why would he go through a random fee-charging person?