To see a medium

[DespairingandDesperate]

My lovely Dad died just before Christmas. Many years ago Dad and I promised one another that whichever one of us died first, that person would come back and visit the living one and make him/herself known.

It's been going on a week now, and "no word" from Dad. I was wondering if I should go and seek help from a medium, or spiritual advisor as they are apparently called.

If a friend was asking me if they should do this I'd probably say I think you're insane and wasting your money... but now I'm in this situation, I'd give anything to receive a message from Dad.

Could it possibly be real?

I'm very sorry for your loss, op.
I felt as though I had to sit on my hands after my mum died, to prevent myself from calling a medium.
I was lucky, I had a lovely dream a few months after she passed.
I choose to interpret certain things as "signs" (a specific number, a certain phrase, a flag, that sort of thing) because they remind me of her, and I'll think "oh, hi mum!". They are probably coincidences but what's the harm if its comforting.

If you do decide to go to a spiritualist church, I'd suggest sitting near the front, because if you're at the back, everyone can turn round and look at you!

Exactly. The anger is (entirely justifiably) aimed at despicable con artists preying on the bereaved, not at the vulnerable who are understandably desperate for comfort.

I’m so sorry for your loss, OP, but don’t even contemplate this.

I do believe in mediums, obviously there are a lot of frauds but I believe there are a small number of genuine ones amongst the frauds.

But this is too soon, he has gone from this life now and you need to work through that first and foremost.

I'm sorry for your loss OP. I understand the desperate need for contact. My mum and DD died within a few months of each other and I was absolutely desperate for some sort of sign. My mum had always been fascinated by mediums and we enjoyed watching programmes together and I was convinced she would contact me somehow, hopefully to say she had my DD with her.

I spent a lot of money on mediums, an embarrassing amount. I went to see the man who was apparently instrumental in finding the bodies after a highly publicised murder by a caretaker. I visited my mum's favourite celebrity medium and a range of others. I have never felt so empty and bereft after seeing these people and realising that it's not actually real. My mum wouldn't have given me the pointless messages they tried to pass off as her.

A couple of years afterwards I took a tarot card course and medium training to get my head around how people are able to do it. I could still confidently read your tarot cards and make you think I had psychic abilities, which I don't.

Just to try to prove that it's quite easy to cold read people, I'll have a go. You live in Australia, you're late 50s and fond of horses.

This is all complete guesswork - you used the word "totalled" with two Ls which is Australian slang and not commonly used in UK or US. Red cars have never been common in Australia. A quick google suggests that your username is an Australian horse but from 2006 and that combined with the way you write leads me to think you are late 50s. If I was on the phone to you I would be able to tell from your voice if I was on the right track.

Don't waste your money OP. Take care of yourself and I hope you receive signs soon.

I've seen mediums/psychics. I could put meaning to what they were saying but I'm still on the fence. I don't think there is anything wrong with seeing one as long as you go with an open mind. Having said that, I think it is too soon as you're dad has only just passed. I would leave it a while.

When a loved one dies we grieve. How we grieve is personal. There are no rules, no experience to draw from, only our own and it is like a journey. Grief is something that teaches us acceptance.
How we deal with that grief is also personal and if you find that be seeing a medium or a psychic helps you then do it. There is no magic formula or shortcut to accepting someone has died and grief can manifest itself in different ways until you find peace.
I hope this helps.

I just wish the 'it doesn't exist' folk would keep their opinions to themselves. OP is understandably upset.
I'm a (non working) medium myself. I would NEVER invent something & neither would any medium I know.

I don't think people should keep their opinions to themselves in the case of mediums.

They are still being very respectful to the OP, and offering condolences and alternative solutions.

But it's like me saying all accountants are crooked, or all nurses are uncaring.. you see what I mean?

It's literally nothing like that. Those are both qualified and verifiable professions.

I would compare it more to homeopathy. It helps some people who swear by it and that's a great thing, but it's a placebo effect. I'm saying that as someone who has wasted money on homeopathy as well as mediums.

So why haven't you claimed the million dollar prize that's available to anyone that can prove they're a medium?

My Mother knew she was about to die & told me that if there was a way, she would make contact.
Its over 20 years now, but nothing significant has happened.
When she first died, a clock started chiming randomly for day or so. A few years later the car radio on my vehicle used to turn itself on and off.
I do empathise with you. As others have said, maybe wait a little longer.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Mediums are not real. Some are genuinely deluded but most are con artists who cynically target people for their cash.

What's really awful about them is they prey on people at their most vulnerable and use their tricks to get their victims' money. It's a despicable thing to do to grieving people, taking advantage of their desperate need to be comforted.

Maybe I am 'vulnerable' but when my DC died a violent death I just wanted to know that they were at peace - and get some for myself!

I waited over 3 years and got a recommendation from another bereaved Mother.
I had no idea what to expect, but I came away an hour later feeling very comforted by this medium.

They had been very specific about DC and other family members, both dead and alive. I am very glad I went and it has helped me with a traumatic, life changing experience. It was the best £25 I have ever spent.

Sincere condolences on your loss. It sounds like you and your Dad were very close. A week (or maybe it's 10 days now) is no time at all. I expect he will appear in your dreams, but maybe it's not time yet. I certainly frequently dream about my parents and fine it comforting. I can't remember how soon after their deaths it began. I hope it's the same for you. Good luck in the meantime with the funeral arrangements etc. it's very hard to deal with formalities as well as grief.

@KrisAkabusi Why would I put myself through that? I neither need nor wish to. Money is not nor ever will be my God. You, I'm not so sure about!

@FestiveFug Thank you for your lovely post & I'm so glad you found peace, Bless you.

@mamabear715 Ok, go for it, what can you tell me? Any messages?

I’m so sorry for your loss Op x I totally believe in mediums, but I think it’s too soon to expect any kind of communication. My mum passed on in the Oct, it wasn’t until the following Mother’s Day that I got any communication. My cd started playing by itself at 3 o’clock in the morning, then I got up for a wee ant 5 am and my patio doors were wide open! And then when I finally got up at 9 am on Mother’s Day my mother’s funeral service booklet was on the floor in the middle of the bedroom. It wasn’t there at 3 am or 5am, I had shoved it away with loads of paperwork after the funeral as I didn’t want to see it and wouldn’t/couldn’t have known where exactly it was! It was definitely mum showing me that she was with me. Every now and then little things happen and I know it’s her ❤️. Give your Dear Dad a little bit of time and he will be around you xx still talk to him in the meantime and let him know all of your news 💐

Tyler Henry brought me great comfort during a bereavement and grief. He has a show and books, you could try these to see if you like them.

@WavingCatsandDogs
Why on earth would I help YOU? I am bowing out now out of respect for OP. I suggest you do the same.

OP you are in the very early stages of grieving. You will dream of your Dad in time - when you remember him with a smile instead of tears.

I think the old adage of a year and a day to complete the full cycle of grief is about right. You need to go through all the special dates and anniversaries.

People do, however, have the right to try to protect vunerable people from being scammed by con artists, which is a description applicable to, oh, every psychic out there.

Hear hear. The amount of underthinking on the thread is frightening, in that it’s actually encouraging a vulnerable, grieving OP to confide herself to the ‘care’ of the cynically exploitative or, at best, the deluded.

Not long after my mother died I was watching a sad film, as I sat there thinking about her & wondered was she OK, was she happy …. Then someone in the film said “Your mother’s fine now so stop worrying”. I know, I know, but it was something I needed to hear. There have been many incidents like this, maybe a coincidence, but they made me feel like my mom was still around.

They say that the dead communicate in many ways, you just have to look & listen. It helps me anyway.