To think there are too many treats now

[Naptrappedmummy]

and that not only is it stressful/expensive for parents, it’s also spoiling the magic for the kids? Because every week seems to bring a present/treat/experience now, it’s routine and not as exciting as it used to be?

Take Christmas, when I was a kid not much happened until Christmas Eve bar opening the advent calendar and going on walks to see houses that had inflatable reindeer on the front lawn. Now it’s a month long affair, elf on the shelf, new pyjamas, a different outing every weekend, Christmas Eve boxes etc.

I’m not saying I’m any better than anyone else. I too have slipped into the habit of trying to make everything special and keeping up with the Joneses, but lately I’ve noticed DD is a bit ‘meh’ about everything I put on and doesn’t seem as excited as I remember being at that age.

Maybe I’m just getting old!

My mother said to me I bought ‘loads’ of presents for my kids. I spend around £300 and they never want a main gift so I guess it can be 10 gifts or so, more my daughter as her cosmetics or Shein products aren’t that expensive. I reminded my mum that £150 which I remember was our budget (we had bikes, hi-fi, ZX spectrum etc in the 80’s) was worth more than £300 in today’s money. Plus I earn more than both my parents (but have much higher living costs). She was quite defensive but realised I had a point!

Wtf are Christmas Eve boxes?

I think it's all about balance. I'm really conscious that we can afford to give our kids much more than me and DH had growing up so I'm really aware of bought treats.

They're not allowed to pick things just because we're in a shop. We don't go overboard on special occasions like balloons to celebrate the elf arriving (that I've seen on social media) and I don't follow social media trends to keep up with the Jones'.

We put more emphasis on doing activities though and days out, but not necessarily expensive ones. We've done nation trust property illuminations, Polar Express at the cinema, panto but mixed in with trips to the cost for a walk on the beach, National trusts visits etc.

Also try not to go overboard on Xmas day and feel like we got the balance right this year as all the presents being played with.

Because every week seems to bring a present/treat/experience now, it’s routine and not as exciting as it used to be?

I don't recognise this at all tbh. Weekly treats, presents and experiences? Really?!

I think kids do need to switch off and spend some time being board to find their own creativity. We don’t need to entertain them all day long.

Over active children need more and more stimulation! Let them be.

I hold back until fairly close to Christmas or it spoils it.

Apart from an advent calendar, the tree & gable lights go up about a week before. No visiting or outings except with school until I finish work, about the same time. No elf or Christmas Eve stuff. We have a really good time but it's all cleared away and back to normal by twelth night.

It's much fun if it's a special day.

I think the main difference now isn’t the amount/cost of the presents but the stuff that happens before the day. Obviously not all families do so many things - there’s a huge variation in my my immediate family for instance.

Other than Elf on the Shelf I did all of the things you’ve listed at primary school in the 90s so these aren’t new things. An experience at school is very different to a family treat.

I don't find the Christmas outings over the top necessarily, except to the extent that they make life too frantic or run people into costs they can't manage. I sometimes think it would be nice if some things were moved to other parts of the year. Why not leave skating until a different month, for example?

But in terms of stuff, it can be so much, and I don't think it really improves the experience.
But general, non-Christmas treats increasingly seem over the top, including food treats. And it's just as much a problem with my own kids. At one point I realized my kids were expecting a treat every time we stopped to fill up the car! And I don't think that's terribly unusual now, many kids seem to get treats or small gifts multiple times a week.

Nah. Life is short. Have fun and treat yourself or your family when you can or when you want to.

I agree.

I was totally jazzed to get an advent calendar that had chocolate!!! 🤩 Not a bloody picture calendar.
And a trip to Chessington world of adventures in the summer hols.

That said totally hard NOT to spoil them when there are SO many thing pushed at you to do.
I currently don't do any toddler classes and am a total outlier among my friends who are constantly inviting me to random events and classes.

Since the energy bills rise and the like we've scaled right back and are more likely to go a family walk to a local park than jumping in the car to a 'farm park' or amusement and I honestly don't think the kids have noticed the difference. Plus it's easier to treat for birthdays as they've not going to 'a place' all the time.

I agree. Each to their own.

Then every weekend it’s visits to the cinema, theme parks, zoos I don’t think most families do this every weekend do they?

I don’t think my dcs childhood is that different to mine. I didn’t have an elf on the shelf but ours doesn’t do much & went to the theatre etc at Christmas for a treat. I don’t know anyone in RL who acts as you describe though OP, think it’s more a social media thing.

Yes, I understand what you are saying OP. It seems now like every person etsi has to experience every thing, regardless of their personal interests. Whereas before, a decade or so ago, each family or person chose the thing or things really important to them and there would be variety between families, but not so exhausting or expensive for each family.

I blame social media. It's the same with adults. All choosing all activities and outings to get their photo opportunity. Don't get me started on how annoying holidays are where you have to book in.advance any historic sites before game of thrones fans book the activity for their one photo opportunity (I'm looking at you Split and Seville!)

I wholeheartedly agree with you, I'm a teacher & our school goes (albeit very cheaply hence the dates) to Panto every year at the end of November (it's the soft opening) so already by then the boys are whipped up into a frenzy & it's not even December, our choir is at practice every day of December in school, so again the constant reminder for those particular boys, we have a school carol service , which is lovely don't get me wrong but it's just ANOTHER thing, we've been driven demented by Elves so our principal has decided (finally) they cannot attend school... & this is all apart from their homelives

We never did any of todays things, panto was with school we’d do a nativity being catholic it was a big deal, any other Christmas event would be either a kids party at my DFs work or kids party through the working men’s clubs.

I remember going late night shopping once with my DF who ended up getting a parking ticket, kicked off and we never went shopping with him again.

I don’t remember any house near us having lights up nor did we see any. Insides was a very 80s different story.

No advent calendars, 1st December box, no Christmas Eve boxs or stockings.

i never once ever got anything I asked for for Christmas, it was all stuff my parents decided I “should” have wanted nothing I actually wanted.

I do remember my parents going out lots, they were out drinking every Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, if Christmas was a week day, they’d still have their weekend plans and they’d be out NY eve without fail. Most nights out resulted it going back to an aunts house for a curry and more drinking and partying. Occasionally they’d come home drunk dragging us out of bed to have a party. And occasionally the party would end back at our house.

As we got older my mum choose to work Christmas Day to make sure she had her drinking nights off.

It was very much about drinking, kids got their presents and put up and shut up. If we were lucky we’d have a snowball or babycham.

I do a lot of hype for Christmas, Santa visits, Elf’s, counting Christmas lights where ever we go, new Christmas clothes and every year my DDs get their most wanted Santa gifts ( obviously within reason), most importantly Christmas is child led. We may have nights out or friends round for drinks but they fit around the kids having fun, not the other way round like my childhood.

The rest of the year we do lots of ‘treats” but no where near as much as most people I know.

Completely agree

Everything is so mega all the time now

We used to go to a panto with school in the 70s.

I think some of us, me included, have wanted to make everything special for lots of reasons.
Growing up I spent lots of time with elderly relatives and I know now that helped me hugely to accept we all live at a different pace.
We scaled back this year and yup, happy; hugely lucky kids and a happy mum.
We are all different but a posed photo at an event means little to us; but might do for others.

You've got a point. So much build up for just one day then it feels both overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time and then it's all over for an other year. I love decorations and films but not before December. We don't do elf on the shelf or Santa visits. I'm exhausted this year from it all and next year will be différent.

I thought the same! I really try to get my fussy eater 3 year old to eat healthily and I feel like ever since Halloween there's been a constant bombardment of junk, sweets and chocolate. Everyone thinks "just a one off treat" but DC has enough to last all year.

I feel rather undermined tbh and like I'm fighting the battle to get DC to eat a wider variety of healthy food alone.

I agree totally OP. So much increased pressure on parents to keep up with all the things. It's impossible to do everything. I wish Christmas was just entirely cancelled. It's just a constant feeling of failure after failure, when youre running and running to the point of utter and extreme exhaustion

Christmas seems to be ramping up.

Even ten years ago, there were no Christmas Eve boxes, Santa reindeer dust and what not. I’d never heard of the elf on the shelf! One visit to Santa per year was the limit.

Ten years later and these things are so normalised.

Yes we were saying this!!!! We are keen on healthy eating but it’s impossible with the number of ‘events’ going on every week - parties, cake sales, kids distributing sweets in class because it’s their birthday, halloween sweets, advent calendars, Christmas food all through december, Easter eggs…