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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does it matter if you don't both like football?

165 replies

Tiffincake · 26/12/2023 21:10

My last partner didn't, however I know many men do. I don't support a team or go to any matches, but I will watch the World Cup, Euro etc.
However wondering if it's a dealbreaker that I'm not massively into football? It depends on the person I guess.. I know you don't have to have everything in common, but football is a way of life for many men. Has it ever been an issue for you?

OP posts:
ElaineMBenes · 27/12/2023 13:49

TheTecknician · 27/12/2023 13:31

I find the support network puzzling, IYSWIM. For example, I work with fans of Manchester City, Manchester United, Newcastle United, Liverpool, Everton and Tottenham Hotspur. None of these people have any bona fide connection to the towns and cities in question. I once knew a Glaswegian who was a Leeds United supporter. Apparently, LUFC have had massive Irish and Scandinavian fanbases for decades. Explain that. Astounds me.

It can be for a variety of reasons. Obviously as a team gets successful then they attract non local fans but there are also fans who support a particular team because it's a family team.
For example, my DH supports a premier league team and it's the team in the city where he grew up. Lots of his family and friends have moved away but their kids support the same team. So his best friend lives in America but his son is a fan of this particular team as it's a bonding/family thing.

Goodlard · 27/12/2023 14:12

TheTecknician · 27/12/2023 13:31

I find the support network puzzling, IYSWIM. For example, I work with fans of Manchester City, Manchester United, Newcastle United, Liverpool, Everton and Tottenham Hotspur. None of these people have any bona fide connection to the towns and cities in question. I once knew a Glaswegian who was a Leeds United supporter. Apparently, LUFC have had massive Irish and Scandinavian fanbases for decades. Explain that. Astounds me.

Mine was because my father when emigrated, lived in North London and chose between Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur.

We all know Tottenham are the best in North London Grin

SouthLondonMum22 · 27/12/2023 14:20

TheTecknician · 27/12/2023 13:31

I find the support network puzzling, IYSWIM. For example, I work with fans of Manchester City, Manchester United, Newcastle United, Liverpool, Everton and Tottenham Hotspur. None of these people have any bona fide connection to the towns and cities in question. I once knew a Glaswegian who was a Leeds United supporter. Apparently, LUFC have had massive Irish and Scandinavian fanbases for decades. Explain that. Astounds me.

Their families might and you tend to support the team your family supports because it is usually passed through generations. If not then it's likely they didn't come from a football family so picked a popular, good, well known team when they were younger which I suppose makes sense since the brand is successful and the teams tend to be exciting to watch and do well.

Thinkbiglittleone · 27/12/2023 14:40

TheTecknician · 27/12/2023 13:31

I find the support network puzzling, IYSWIM. For example, I work with fans of Manchester City, Manchester United, Newcastle United, Liverpool, Everton and Tottenham Hotspur. None of these people have any bona fide connection to the towns and cities in question. I once knew a Glaswegian who was a Leeds United supporter. Apparently, LUFC have had massive Irish and Scandinavian fanbases for decades. Explain that. Astounds me.

Choosing to support a good team for no reason other than they are good was a bit glory hunting.
I used to love football as a kid, sitting with the lads at school discussing the matches, watching them all, father and brother had season tickets, (I didn't like it, it was too loud and busy for me when 8 was little) then as I grew up I lost interest a little.
Now we have a DS and my father and brother are still football crazy, so I'm back into watching the game. I was happy that my DH doesn't like footy, if my DB isn't playing it, he's watching it, listening to podcast about it, reading about it. I mean he has a lovely life with his non liking football partner, but it is definitely a way of life for him rather than a hobby. They are happy together though, they don't talk about footy and do lots of other things together, so I'm not sure it would be a deal breaker but I'm glad my DH isn't a fan.

Mountainpika · 27/12/2023 15:12

Neither of us has any interest in sport. We've happily not watched/played any in the 52 years we've been together.

peakygold · 27/12/2023 15:31

I was born into a family who loved motorsports and shooting, and had never watched a minute of a football match in their lives. I am married to a man who, with his family, will watch back to back matches at weekends involving teams which no-one in the room supports, sit and listen to pundits for hours on end, and stand in the freezing cold to support local crap teams. He subscribes to every channel which may broadcast matches. You get used to having your own hobbies and pastimes (and thank god for multi-room sky +).

PGmicstand · 27/12/2023 15:38

ElaineMBenes · 27/12/2023 10:48

You know you can do all of those things?

Just because you like football doesn't mean you don't also have other interests 😂

Show quote history

I wasn't suggesting football fans can't be interested in those things, or a wealth of other things. But neither DH nor I have any interest in it, so my response was more of a direct one to the original question.
Whe DP and I first met, he was interested in planes, and used to go to airshows. I went to one, when we were first dating. It was so boring I never went again. He's been perfectly welcome and able to go to them on his own but I honestly couldn't muster up any enthusiasm for them. Similarly, I really enjoy a good browse around an Art gallery- he doesn't and isn't interested in art.I wouldn't expect him to be, nor to come with me to one.

HappyCamperTent · 27/12/2023 17:43

cynan · 26/12/2023 23:10

Coming from a footballing city, I've never liked a man who didn't like football. He doesn't have to be passionate about it, but I find men who hate it odd.

What if that man is Welsh?

EnjoyTheMushrooms · 27/12/2023 17:45

If I were dating and a potential partner were really into football, I’d find it off putting and I’d probably not continue dating them. It’s a dealbreaker for me 😆

HappyCamperTent · 27/12/2023 17:45

Goodlard · 27/12/2023 08:27

According to sone on here, it's worse than marrying an adulterer.and all football fans are childish.

One particular poster says her very controlling sensible daughter in law asked two questions before getting involved with her son and one of them was "do you like football"? Allegedly, if he'd said yes then the relationship would not have progressed.

So crazy, because if he was a keen cyclist or any other hobby or sport that took many hours it was ok, but football was a no.

So, I'm not sure that MN is the place to ask for sensible answers.

But I don't see a problem.

Keen cyclists actually cycle though. Not many football fanatics actually play football. Abe if they do it’s usually still less than how much the actually watch.

Catapultaway · 27/12/2023 17:47

My DH is a football addict. He would be horrified if I wanted to go with him. Its his thing, with his friends.

autumn1610 · 27/12/2023 18:00

Ex P loved football had a season ticket etc. wasn’t a deal breaker but did have to plan around home games so it easily could become one. Then you have pub pre game so instead of 3pm starts about 12/1 ish and then the potential for post game drinks. Which was more annoying

Buttercup176 · 27/12/2023 18:08

I couldn’t date a football fan, it would be a deal breaker for me tbh

Goodlard · 27/12/2023 18:14

@HappyCamperTent I don't understand your point? The person in question didn't want a DH who spent to much time away from her.

So it makes no difference apart from controlling if he's cycling or watching football.

It's a hobby.

LlynTegid · 27/12/2023 18:17

No it does not matter providing there is respect for the person who has no interest.

Oblomov23 · 27/12/2023 18:18

Dh loves football. Watches most games. Both ds's play. I love football, watching most games myself, watching ds's play, going into London to watch Dpyrs against other teams is just an utter thrill.

MadWifeInTheAttic · 27/12/2023 18:20

My husband got me into football. Now I'm more obsessed than he is.

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/12/2023 18:25

I can take or leave football. Quite enjoy the matches but find the endless navel gazing about who is going up and who is going down unbelievably tedious.

My DP is a football fan ;supports a club and is generally interested).

When we first got together I was very clear that I had no problem with him watching/liking football but that I wasn’t interested in it and didn’t want to have to talk about it. I am quite happy to be informed if his team has won or lost but I don’t need and won’t welcome a lot of tedious information about other PL games which have happened.

That rule, after a couple of early breaches, has been pretty diligently observed. He watches his matches, I do something else and all is well.

I think most men are very comfortable with the idea that as a rule women aren’t particularly in football, so I don’t see that as an issue. More important for you to have boundaries about how much of it you want to be subjected to.

xyz111 · 27/12/2023 18:31

My DH loves football, when he watches it I use the time to paint my nails, watch a programme I want to in bed and chill out. It doesn't matter.

ElaineMBenes · 27/12/2023 19:36

Why is being a football fan a dealbreaker?

IMustDoMoreExercise · 27/12/2023 19:39

Celebrationsnakes · 26/12/2023 21:16

I'm obsessed with football and wouldn't want to be with a man who didn't like football because its such a big part of my life and spend hours watching it. I can't see how it would work with someone who didn't like it.

I agree with this.

It would be very difficult if my husband didn't like football.

ForeveraBluebird · 27/12/2023 20:27

@HappyCamperTent , why would it matter if the man was Welsh ?

HappyCamperTent · 27/12/2023 20:28

ForeveraBluebird · 27/12/2023 20:27

@HappyCamperTent , why would it matter if the man was Welsh ?

Because Rugby is a bigger thing here than football.

ForeveraBluebird · 27/12/2023 20:31

Rugby is bigger when it’s international or four nations, club rugby attendance is awful.

HappyCamperTent · 27/12/2023 20:36

ForeveraBluebird · 27/12/2023 20:31

Rugby is bigger when it’s international or four nations, club rugby attendance is awful.

So is Welsh football.