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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does it matter if you don't both like football?

165 replies

Tiffincake · 26/12/2023 21:10

My last partner didn't, however I know many men do. I don't support a team or go to any matches, but I will watch the World Cup, Euro etc.
However wondering if it's a dealbreaker that I'm not massively into football? It depends on the person I guess.. I know you don't have to have everything in common, but football is a way of life for many men. Has it ever been an issue for you?

OP posts:
Allfur · 26/12/2023 21:52

Running and cycling are hardly comparable to football

Hiddenvoice · 26/12/2023 21:52

I dated a guy who loved football. He loved watching football and playing it. He played it regularly and was keen to get me involved with watching him or watching with him. He did get a bit moody if his team lost but would quickly get out of it.
He would usually watch the ‘big’ games with his dad but would make more of an event with it and invite his parents over or we would go to their house for a meal too.

He was never overly bothered than I wasn’t that interested. Instead, he always seemed to want tk make it up to me if he spent the night watching a game.

Nortam · 26/12/2023 21:54

I don't think this will go down very well but BEING a football fan is a deal-breaker for me. I've got 4dc and luckily none of them like football either.

pictoosh · 26/12/2023 21:58

"Never trust a man who doesn't like football."

What a load of crap.

MargaritaThyme · 26/12/2023 21:59

Tiffincake · 26/12/2023 21:46

The responses have reassured me, thank you. I don't hate football as such, and as mentioned I watch the big international games, it's just not a religion for me, I hate the hooliganism associated, rowdy drunk men in pubs shrieking at the TV 🤢

The ‘hooliganism’ is massively over-hyped by the media. I feel perfectly safe at games, I can’t remember the last time I saw any trouble and we get big crowds with plenty of away fans.

ForeveraBluebird · 26/12/2023 22:00

If the rowdy drunk men in the pub were actual football supporters, maybe they’d go to an actual match.

Chickenkeev · 26/12/2023 22:00

Tiffincake · 26/12/2023 21:46

The responses have reassured me, thank you. I don't hate football as such, and as mentioned I watch the big international games, it's just not a religion for me, I hate the hooliganism associated, rowdy drunk men in pubs shrieking at the TV 🤢

You do need to educate yourself about football fans. That's incredibly insulting. The troublemakers are a minority. You seem like your knowledge is early 90s.

mynameiscalypso · 26/12/2023 22:01

I generally think that - proper - football fans are some of the nicest people in the world. Hooligans who sit in the pub getting hammered just use football as an excuse.

Pigeonqueen · 26/12/2023 22:04

Chickenkeev · 26/12/2023 22:00

You do need to educate yourself about football fans. That's incredibly insulting. The troublemakers are a minority. You seem like your knowledge is early 90s.

Show quote history

I agree. We’ve been to so many games and never seen any of the hooliganism you see on the news etc. The media makes it sound much worse than it is.

gannett · 26/12/2023 22:05

I don't like football and don't want to factor it into my life, so it's good that I found a DP who doesn't like it either. (Plenty of men aren't into football, of course.) It would probably have been a deal-breaker - but that's not anything against football fans. Some of my best friends (male and female) are football fans. They'd just be incompatible with me.

I'm extremely into following my sport of choice and fortunately for me I've got DP into it as well, though not to the same extent.

Whiskeywithwater · 26/12/2023 22:07

I ‘like’ football, but don’t love it. But cannot imagine my life without it! OH been a season ticket holder for 30 years. Goes home and away. Both kids also season ticket holders (DD17 and DS15) and also both play. So I do training drops and 2 matches for them each week. DD says she could never have a boyfriend who didn’t play football (or support the same team as her! 😂)

UsingChangeofName · 26/12/2023 22:11

WessexWanderer · 26/12/2023 21:50

My husband loves football and has a season ticket for the local club. I have no interest. He goes to matches. I stay home.
But he rarely goes out with friends in the evening while I quite often do. So I'll solo parent while he's at matches & he'll solo parent when I'm out with friends.
I think the problems arise if one parent has loads of time for their hobby/social life & the other has very little.

I think this is the crux of it.

In our case, I love football and dh doesn't. That is fine, he enjoys things I don't enjoy.
The issues arise when either one partner wants to control what the other person "is allowed" to do - ie stop them enjoying their interest
or
When one person lets their hobby / interest take over (time, money, mood) to such an extent that it rules their life.

Doesn't matter if it is football, another hobby, or people that work 12 hours a day x 6 days a week, or something like keeping a horse that you can't not attend to each day.

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 26/12/2023 22:13

DH loves footy - plays 3 x a week, watches most games on TV and goes to the odd match. I’m not really interested at all.

It doesn’t cause any issues at all. But he’s a footy fan, not a yob who gets drunk and gets aggro if they lose.

He’ll go without the footy if it clashes with family commitments. I’ll watch the odd game with him while reading at the same time, he’ll take the kids to the odd match with him.

my birthday is Transfer Deadline day lol. He checks on it with my blessing during dinner or whatever we’re doing.

underneaththeash · 26/12/2023 22:22

one if my deal breakers was someone who obsessively followed football. I knew too many people where it affected their family life and I wasn’t willing to compromise for something so vacuous and unimportant.

DH has no interest, neither have any of my children. Although my middle son and eldest daughter play.

it’s fine to have a couple of deal breakers.

TigerDroveAgain · 26/12/2023 22:33

I love football and DH hates it. As others have said, it's give and take - he's got lots of interests. He knows Xmas football is sacred! He never comes to games but if we have an away game somewhere vaguely interesting he'll travel with me and we have a weekend away.

Hankunamatata · 26/12/2023 22:34

Luckily dh doesn't like football. I find it tedious, boring and over emphasised sport

QueenBitch666 · 26/12/2023 22:35

Single by choice here ( too many mediocre idiots out there ) but I wouldn't entertain a football bore
Or a gamer for that matter

Mammyloveswine · 26/12/2023 22:36

I'm the football fan in our house.., (I'm a Geordie so it's in my blood... back to losing ways recently though 😩).

DH professes to support his local team (he's not a Geordie) but honestly watching football with him he just sits and watches... im like an absolute hooligan!!

Our boys support the toon like me.. I think it's the law if you're born in Newcastle you HAVE to support Newcastle United! I take the boys to matches and DH if he were a true fan would not let both his sons not support his team 🤣

SqueezyMcJingles · 26/12/2023 22:37

No, never. He watches it on the TV or on his phone, sometimes invites a mate or two over to watch with, and, very rarely, goes to the home games. Never been a problem - it's not like he forces it on me.

wouldthatbeworse · 26/12/2023 22:41

My DH is football obsessed. Pre kids it was totally not an issue. Post kids he watches a lot, lot less football - which is still quite a bit. But the biggest challenge is that he is often physically with us at home or in the park or at our own kid’s birthday party but mentally he’s thinking only of the football. He checks his phone obsessively. So I’d say it’s quite annoying but it does bring him great joy.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 26/12/2023 22:47

I'm not interested in football at all, and actively dislike the culture around it. I would absolutely not have chosen an major football fan as a partner. Dh and I have quite a lot of interests in common. I hate the idea of a relationship where the man would have very stereotypically male interests and I would have very stereotypically female interests. We would have nothing to talk about. As for the men who go into a terrible mood when 'their' team loses - it's utterly pathetic.

ilovesooty · 26/12/2023 22:48

I had football fan parents from football fan families. All my long term relationships have been with men who were football fans too.

Swirls346 · 26/12/2023 22:52

Haha it's not an issue at all. My partner is football obsessed. I find it soooo boring. He watches it and goes to games etc and I do my own thing. It's never been an issue!
Just like I can have hobbies that he doesn't like.

HappyCamperTent · 26/12/2023 22:55

I fucking hate football and all it stands for… money, fighting, booze, misogyny. My dh hates it too thankfully

Christmasdistress · 26/12/2023 22:59

Can't stand football, won't waste my time on it.

Rather than wondering whether your likes and preferences are a deal breaker for some imaginary future partner, why not switch it around - is it a deal breaker for you to date someone who thinks football is that important?
It absolutely would be for me, and it's never been a problem to find suitable partners.

I have actually never had a boyfriend or partner who likes football, or playing/watching team sports at all.

My advice - date geeks and techies. A good number of them don't like those kinds of sports either, although a fair proportion of them do like video games, so you might lose them to that (though it's not definite, I've managed to avoid those ones too).

And plenty of them still like gym/outdoors/physical activities, so it's not like you have to pick an unhealthy one either.