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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Does it matter if you don't both like football?

165 replies

Tiffincake · 26/12/2023 21:10

My last partner didn't, however I know many men do. I don't support a team or go to any matches, but I will watch the World Cup, Euro etc.
However wondering if it's a dealbreaker that I'm not massively into football? It depends on the person I guess.. I know you don't have to have everything in common, but football is a way of life for many men. Has it ever been an issue for you?

OP posts:

Catopia · 27/12/2023 08:59

Other half watches every match. My contributions to this hobby are rolling my eyes, getting out of the way, occasionally sticking head around the door and asking if he wants a cuppa and asking afterwards if they did "good kicking". Sometimes I sit there and make sarcastic comments about the haircuts. To be fair, his knowledge of anyone other than perhaps the headline star in any sport I follow is minimal so it's ok!

NotToYou · 27/12/2023 09:01

I'm not a football fan. Luckily DP isn't either, because I wouldn't want to date a man who had more than a passing interest in it.

cynan · 27/12/2023 09:27

Do you really not know men who hate football, or women who love it?

Of course I do, which is how I formed my opinion.

Goodlard · 27/12/2023 09:29

NotToYou · 27/12/2023 09:01

I'm not a football fan. Luckily DP isn't either, because I wouldn't want to date a man who had more than a passing interest in it.

Why not?

CMOTDibbler · 27/12/2023 09:41

My dh loves football, rugby, cricket, and American football. I have no interest in any of these. He doesn't go to see live football as we are so far from the team he supports, but will go to see others when he can- but literally could have the tv or radio permanently on sports.
But it isn't a problem, like now he is downstairs watching sport while I am tucked up in bed with the dogs, tea, and my kindle

RaininSummer · 27/12/2023 09:47

As a person who isn't the slightest interested in any sport, let alone men chasing a ball, I am so pleased that my partner also has zero interest. My ex always seemed to have football or something equally noisy and tedious on TV.

CalistoNoSolo · 27/12/2023 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Luckylottowinnertobe · 27/12/2023 10:08

I'm not a fan but understand the joy it brings to many.

Goodlard · 27/12/2023 10:12

@CalistoNoSolo do you think that was called for? I'd rather be the biggest football fan in the world than as nasty and spiteful as you!

You're a disgrace!

olderbutwiser · 27/12/2023 10:17

XDHs obsession with watching sport contributed to the misery of my marriage. The constant background noise of football on the TV (the inane commentary, sheer pointlessness of it, strong threads of misogyny, racism and homophobia) still triggers me.

OverTheGrip · 27/12/2023 10:22

DH is a massive football fan and I’m not.

30 years on and it’s never been a problem.
I can’t understand why it would be!

Goodlard · 27/12/2023 10:26

@CalistoNoSolo and as for calling me thick, do you know what fan is short for......

🙄!

I'll help you, it's fanatic....

Educate yourself!

ElaineMBenes · 27/12/2023 10:35

My DH has a season ticket and has always been massively into football.
I never have been and it's never been an issue however I think the following is important:

I knew when we met that he liked football so I've never expected him to stop liking football and going to games.

I would never accept him being moody about football. I understand it's important to him but I won't be with someone who sulks about a game.

Family first. Football doesn't trump important family/couple time. DH has no issue missing games if we need to be elsewhere and I'm happy to be flexible around matches if I can be.

Our 9 yr old DS is really into football too and it's absolutely lovely to see them together. I remember when DS was a baby and my DH was going to matches - he told me that before I knew it they'd be off on boys trips together and I'd have loads of time to myself. That's actually started to happen and I love it 😂

ChaToilLeam · 27/12/2023 10:38

I have very little interest in following any kind of sport and thankfully DP feels much the same way. He watches the 6 Nations rugby but he goes to the pub for that.

Men who are very into watching sports are really a deal breaker for me, I find it incredibly boring. Being in a pub full of football or rugby fans watching a game is an absolute nightmare for me, even when everyone is good natured and happy. And I know plenty of women who like it, but it’s not for me. I just duck out and let everyone get on with it.

ElaineMBenes · 27/12/2023 10:39

As an example of a not sensible answer!

All football fans are boring

All the hundreds of thousands, without exception!

So predictable isn't it?
Another typical response is that every single one of them is also an uneducated thug 🙄
People need to get out more!

SleepingStandingUp · 27/12/2023 10:43

If football is a way of life, then I wouldn't date them.

I'd had friends organise their wedding around football dates, then moaning a decade down the line that he's constantly at the football and nearly missed their child's birth because of extra time.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/12/2023 10:45

TulipTuesday · 26/12/2023 21:51

Growing up my DM was obsessed with football - I went to my first match at 1 yo - however my DF couldn’t care less.

As soon as I was old enough for serious boyfriends my DM gave me one piece of advice ‘Never trust a man who doesn’t like football’

My DH lives for football and we’ve been together 22 years now 😄

Nice how she managed to basically tell you your Dad was an arse in that little anecdote.

Living for a group of men running around a field after a ball, not his wife or family.

Think I'd prefer your dad thanks

PGmicstand · 27/12/2023 10:46

No. I find it tedious. DP isn't interested in football either. We'd rather go for a walk, or read a book than watch football.

ElaineMBenes · 27/12/2023 10:48

PGmicstand · 27/12/2023 10:46

No. I find it tedious. DP isn't interested in football either. We'd rather go for a walk, or read a book than watch football.

You know you can do all of those things?

Just because you like football doesn't mean you don't also have other interests 😂

Kazzyhoward · 27/12/2023 10:56

It depends how obsessed they are with it. Both DS and DH "like" football, but neither are obsessed - they watch the occasional match on TV, go to home games, etc., but don't get moody if they lose and are "happy" to miss a game if something else is going on. I think of it more of a healthy hobby that they can take or leave.

I'd never get involved with anyone "obsessed" about anything really as it's not healthy. Plenty of people are "interested" in football without it taking over their lives!!

OverTheGrip · 27/12/2023 11:27

ElaineMBenes · 27/12/2023 10:48

You know you can do all of those things?

Just because you like football doesn't mean you don't also have other interests 😂

Show quote history

Exactly. I read whilst he watches football and the we walk together. I also have other interests I do whilst he watches!

ElaineMBenes · 27/12/2023 11:37

Exactly. I read whilst he watches football and the we walk together. I also have other interests I do whilst he watches!

Also some football fans also like reading!!

TheTecknician · 27/12/2023 13:31

I find the support network puzzling, IYSWIM. For example, I work with fans of Manchester City, Manchester United, Newcastle United, Liverpool, Everton and Tottenham Hotspur. None of these people have any bona fide connection to the towns and cities in question. I once knew a Glaswegian who was a Leeds United supporter. Apparently, LUFC have had massive Irish and Scandinavian fanbases for decades. Explain that. Astounds me.

Aprilx · 27/12/2023 13:40

My husband loves football but he does not have a season ticket or go to matches as we do not leave near the team he supports. He has never put football before me, he watches it every week when it is the season but usually after I have gone to bed. I will watch the the important / international games with him.

thetworonnies · 27/12/2023 13:41

I've been a season ticket holder for almost as long as I've been alive. I'd struggle to be with someone who didn't realise or care how important my team are to me.
The MN sport of choice seems to be trying to belittle anyone who thinks differently to them.

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