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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think refrigerated breastmilk doesn’t have to be hidden?

79 replies

Calmondeck · 26/12/2023 13:33

Staying with lovely in-laws… but a Christmas guest, extended family, remarked “well, I must say I’m a little put off my tea after seeing breastmilk in the fridge”.

Cue chuckles round the table saying “oh yes, I spotted that too, got quite the shock”

Because it’s Christmas everyone is diving into the fridge to grab things and make space etc etc

But AIBU to think my expressed milk doesn’t have to be hidden?

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 26/12/2023 13:35

Hidden no, labelled yes.

KvotheTheBloodless · 26/12/2023 13:36

That's bizarre - it's not like it's bodily waste or blood or something. It's just milk!

Sounds like they think of breasts as solely for sexual pleasure and are therefore embarrassed by being reminded that they serve a biological purpose. They should be embarrassed, not you!

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 26/12/2023 13:36

They are ridiculous and very immature. I would try and hide it at the back though just so it doesn’t get left out or something like that.

WHALESURPRISE · 26/12/2023 13:37

Ask them if they're equally disturbed by the breast milk from cows that's also there?

Upsetandfedup35 · 26/12/2023 13:37

I'd put some in their coffee just to make a point

Mazuslongtoenail · 26/12/2023 13:38

They’re crackers.

Waitingfordoggo · 26/12/2023 13:38

Did they say this in front of you? They must know the milk is yours? (Unless this is a really big gathering with lots of lactating women in attendance). How rude, no of course your milk doesn’t need to be hidden.

Missingmybabysomuch · 26/12/2023 13:40

WHALESURPRISE · 26/12/2023 13:37

Ask them if they're equally disturbed by the breast milk from cows that's also there?

Haha this made me laugh. Highlights perfectly how ridiculous they are being.

Libmama · 26/12/2023 13:40

I’m also with the PP that said put it in their coffee.

Ridiculous. Not like you’re asking them to drink it.

Pumpkintopf · 26/12/2023 13:42

WHALESURPRISE · 26/12/2023 13:37

Ask them if they're equally disturbed by the breast milk from cows that's also there?

This

Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 26/12/2023 13:42

I'd sit there with my boobs out pumping in front of them...just to make a point. But that's me.

No your breastmilk doesnt need to be hidden. It's milk. No more offensive than cows milk. Actually to me it's less offensive as i find cows milk disgusting.

Though i'd be putting it in a seperate place in the fridge at this time of year to reduce risk of someone leaving it out/throwing it out.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 26/12/2023 13:43

So they saw a bottle of milk, that looked exactly how a bottle with formula in it would have looked. Or a bottle with cows' milk in it.

They need to get a grip.

ManateeFair · 26/12/2023 13:53

It doesn’t have to be hidden, of course not! They’re being daft.

I think openness around breastfeeding has changed a lot over recent years. Expressing and keeping milk wasn’t really a thing when my mum and dad were new parents for instance, and neither was breastfeeding in public. Obviously things have changed for the better now - but maybe it’s just surprising for people of that generation to see this stuff. They shouldn’t have said anything, though; it was rude of them.

If they’re younger and have zero experience of babies, maybe they’re just not au fait with what’s normal re. breast milk, but again, they should kept quiet about it. Plenty of people do find it hard to think of breast milk as being different from any other human bodily fluid (including me) but that’s their problem, not yours!

KylieJennersMakeUpSponge · 26/12/2023 13:54

Tell her all milk is breast milk and ask why human breast milk is gross but she happily drinks cow breast milk

Omgwhatthehell · 26/12/2023 13:57

It sounds like they need to grow up.
Although, if they are of the older generation, it might be something they aren’t used to, as @ManateeFair said. So maybe they are just making clumsy conversation.

I’d be rolling my eyes though!

GreyWednesday · 26/12/2023 14:03

Do they have (cow’s breast) milk in their tea? If so then surely they must realise the irony…

You absolutely shouldn’t have to hide it, no. It is literally just milk!
I have made attempts to conceal expressed milk if I’ve had to put it in a fridge away from home though, because I suspected some people would be weird about it and I couldn’t be bothered with it.

LightDrizzle · 26/12/2023 14:06

Ah! So much more repellent than the milk from goats or cows or the refrigerated flesh of other animal species.

(Not a vegetarian).

GrandParade · 26/12/2023 14:09

That person sounds like a total idiot.

Skimm · 26/12/2023 14:10

Hmm its one of those things where I have bf 3 children and expressed myself, but I would still be a little grossed out by someone else's breastmilk. I have no reason why as I know its natural and all milk is from a breast but my instant reaction would be that I didnt want to touch it.

I also work in a nursery and have handled breast milk in a bottle to feed babies and I also don't want that to touch me. I feel a natural aversion.

I'm pregnant and planning to bf this one for 2 years aswell so again I can't explain why someone else's breastmilk grosses me out but not mine...

LinnieM · 26/12/2023 14:11

That’s so weird…..

Mumoftwo1312 · 26/12/2023 14:12

Yanbu OP.

I expressed bm for nearly two years after returning to work after having dc1 - kept my expressed bm in the office fridge everyday and absolutely no one made a peep. Male dominated office, mix of dads and child free men. None of them would have dreamed of making a sarky comment.

And no, I didn't label it, but it was in a tommee tippee bottle so clearly not for coffee!

Your guests were very unreasonable and rude and I'd have told them so!

Siha345 · 26/12/2023 14:53

How immature, it’s food for your child

Prawncow · 26/12/2023 15:01

I’d agree with them and say that seeing breast milk in a bottle in the fridge must remind them they’re adding the secretions of lactating cows’ ‘breast to their tea.

Zanatdy · 26/12/2023 15:04

They are so pathetic. I’d be quite annoyed by their immature attitude

festivepains · 26/12/2023 15:05

Upsetandfedup35 · 26/12/2023 13:37

I'd put some in their coffee just to make a point

That's vile