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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think refrigerated breastmilk doesn’t have to be hidden?

79 replies

Calmondeck · 26/12/2023 13:33

Staying with lovely in-laws… but a Christmas guest, extended family, remarked “well, I must say I’m a little put off my tea after seeing breastmilk in the fridge”.

Cue chuckles round the table saying “oh yes, I spotted that too, got quite the shock”

Because it’s Christmas everyone is diving into the fridge to grab things and make space etc etc

But AIBU to think my expressed milk doesn’t have to be hidden?

OP posts:
Sux2buthen · 26/12/2023 15:06

Not vile, it's just milk

festivepains · 26/12/2023 15:08

Sux2buthen · 26/12/2023 15:06

Not vile, it's just milk

It is vile to put human breast milk in someone's coffee to make a point.

Bonbon21 · 26/12/2023 15:08

... it's YOUR fridge!!

You can keep whatever you like in it!!

..and they can leave any time they like...

shivawn · 26/12/2023 15:11

They're easily shocked aren't they?

Saying they're put off their tea over seeing some milk in the fridge is just plain rude and immature.

susiedaisy1912 · 26/12/2023 15:17

But cows milk is breast milk too. 💁🏻

blackpanth · 26/12/2023 15:21

They're ridiculous

Friendfoe1 · 26/12/2023 15:22

Tell them you used it in their tea 🤣

festivepains · 26/12/2023 15:29

Friendfoe1 · 26/12/2023 15:22

Tell them you used it in their tea 🤣

That's disgusting. Why are so many people suggesting putting human bodily fluids in drinks presumably without the recipients permission.

Friendfoe1 · 26/12/2023 15:37

festivepains · 26/12/2023 15:29

That's disgusting. Why are so many people suggesting putting human bodily fluids in drinks presumably without the recipients permission.

Show quote history

I didn’t say to actually do it, just tell them you did 🤣

Americano75 · 26/12/2023 15:38

That's incredibly rude and unbelievably immature.

MissBuffyAnneSummers · 26/12/2023 15:39

What is it that they find shocking?

I'd have to ask.

Sux2buthen · 26/12/2023 15:57

It's not really counted as bodily fluids because it's only purpose is human consumption

HiCandles · 26/12/2023 16:05

I put my expressed milk in in-laws fridge once and I would've been furious if anyone said anything. How else would I store it and if I didn't, how would my baby drink it safely?
I would tartly point out that human breast milk is designed to feed baby humans which is far more natural than human adults drinking cow's milk designed for baby cows (and I do drink and like cow's milk myself!).
Gosh OP this makes me cross. Breastfeeding and pumping is enough to deal with without silly comments from people.

festivepains · 26/12/2023 16:11

Friendfoe1 · 26/12/2023 15:37

I didn’t say to actually do it, just tell them you did 🤣

Show quote history

What a laugh..

Original poster
Calmondeck · 27/12/2023 06:15

I’m so glad to hear all but one responders think this is bizarre too. My DH thinks it was shocking to some of his relatives because (1) they are elderly and (2) the creamy part of the breastmilk separates in the fridge rising to the tops of the bottle so it appears more ‘organic’(?!) than cows milk

No idea whether this theory could be correct but the commenter had her children 70 years ago, and I’ve since found out had PND and moved in with her own mother who fed the baby, so this might have something to do with it

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 27/12/2023 06:21

Of course it doesn’t need to be hidden.

NotARealWookiie · 27/12/2023 06:22

Oh I find the older generations are so obsessed with everything about how you feed your baby. No one my age asks how you are feeding but everyone older asks. I find many are judgey if it’s not breastfeeding but also heaven forbid if you breastfeed publicly!

I had the opposite. My milk drank my breasts ill when I expressed, on purpose, even though I asked her not to. Vile.

Try to ignore them.

lalaland2024 · 27/12/2023 06:27

she had her children 70 years ago? So she's what, in her 90s?? Possibly a generational thing? I'm assuming breastmilk being stored in a fridge wasn't a thing in the 1950s (I mean I don't know for sure as I was born in the mid 80s, but I'd guess not!)

lalaland2024 · 27/12/2023 06:28

Meant to add, still rude to make that comment either way!

s4usagefingers · 27/12/2023 06:30

Calmondeck · 27/12/2023 06:15

I’m so glad to hear all but one responders think this is bizarre too. My DH thinks it was shocking to some of his relatives because (1) they are elderly and (2) the creamy part of the breastmilk separates in the fridge rising to the tops of the bottle so it appears more ‘organic’(?!) than cows milk

No idea whether this theory could be correct but the commenter had her children 70 years ago, and I’ve since found out had PND and moved in with her own mother who fed the baby, so this might have something to do with it

If they’re really that old then I’d not bat an eyelid to comments like that. Older people get a bit of a pass. If they were younger though then I’d just think they were ignorant morons. With my family and in laws it took a bit time for them to get used to me breastfeeding and them using my milk but they never said a word and just got on with it.

grannycake · 27/12/2023 06:38

I breastfed all 3 of my DC back in the 80s - never had a problem feeding in public. I don't recognise the general view tht nobody did this in the 80s - most of my friends did the same

Ascubudr · 27/12/2023 06:43

ManateeFair · 26/12/2023 13:53

It doesn’t have to be hidden, of course not! They’re being daft.

I think openness around breastfeeding has changed a lot over recent years. Expressing and keeping milk wasn’t really a thing when my mum and dad were new parents for instance, and neither was breastfeeding in public. Obviously things have changed for the better now - but maybe it’s just surprising for people of that generation to see this stuff. They shouldn’t have said anything, though; it was rude of them.

If they’re younger and have zero experience of babies, maybe they’re just not au fait with what’s normal re. breast milk, but again, they should kept quiet about it. Plenty of people do find it hard to think of breast milk as being different from any other human bodily fluid (including me) but that’s their problem, not yours!

How old are you ? I pumped and refrigerated breast milk 20 years ago. DM did it 35 years ago ( I have a yonger DB so I remember).

Ascubudr · 27/12/2023 06:45

So DM is 74 and she did it, who are these older people ?Those in their 90's ?

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/12/2023 06:55

NotARealWookiie · 27/12/2023 06:22

Oh I find the older generations are so obsessed with everything about how you feed your baby. No one my age asks how you are feeding but everyone older asks. I find many are judgey if it’s not breastfeeding but also heaven forbid if you breastfeed publicly!

I had the opposite. My milk drank my breasts ill when I expressed, on purpose, even though I asked her not to. Vile.

Try to ignore them.

Omg. That is vile behaviour. To take a baby’s food from them.

Fifthtimelucky · 27/12/2023 07:00

I only ever hid it at work. I used to express at lunchtime, then put the bottle into an insulated bag in the fridge, and take the whole bag out to take home

The hiding it in the bag was partly because I didn't want to risk anyone putting it in the tea/coffee and partly to avoid any embarrassment from other staff.