To be depressed at the waste over Xmas

[MerryMidwinter]

Only a few of us spending the day together so I made a rough list of what we food we wanted plus a few treats so we could all contribute to the shopping and cost which we’d agreed to. Typically it didn’t go to plan and I’m looking at all the piles of sweets and cake that we’ve ended up with plus things we have been given and it just feels so distasteful. I don’t want to eat it, some I will donate but a lot will end up being eaten for the sake of it or binned. We’re visiting other relatives today and there will be more of the same. It’s such a waste of money and I don’t know why we all do it.

Likewise presents, we don’t go overboard but I spent a few hundred £ and really thought about what I was buying but I’ve got a bag of things that mostly I don’t really need or want that I have to find space for or secretly donate. They’re well- meant and I appreciate the thought but I can’t bear extra ‘stuff’ and few of them are things I like or will use. I hate the thought of money being spent on me that could have been used for something else.

I know I sound very controlling - I can’t expect everyone’s eating/buying preferences to match mine - but I’ve had an awful year and when things aren’t good it tends to get me like this. I don’t like myself much for it, it feels very ungrateful but I just really hate all the waste, of money and everything else.

It's just pure greed.
Just buy what you know will get eaten, l haven't had any waste, l only bought a roast dinner and few treats for myself, my sons who work out, specifically said no rubbish.
I have been given stuff that l won't use, that will be recycled one way or another.
I work in retail and l see the buzz people get off buying mountains of stuff.

But surely none of it is actually wasted yet.

• Leftovers can be frozen and used over the coming weeks
• excess unopened foods can be donated to a food bank
• excess unopened and unneeded toys can be donated to a children's charity, women's refuge or charity shop
• excess unopened toiletries gift sets can be donated to a women's refuge or homeless shelter.

If you let the food go off, throw away the toys/clothes/giftsets or leave them laying round till they get bashed up or opened just for the sake of it, then yes it's a waste. Right now you have stuff you don't need that can be redistributed or saved and used another time.

Maybe you just need to plan better? We’ve got plenty leftover but they all be eaten. The boxes of chocolate will last for ages, assuming the kids don’t eat them, and we all bought each other presents we all wanted. It’s definitely possible..

I honestly don't understand why so many people end up chucking Christmas food away. Do they not eat leftovers? Cakes, snacks and sweets keep for a fair while. Leftover meat can be eaten as it is, or made into some really delicious things. Veg can be made into soup etc.

This regarding food. I wouldn't dream of bringing food to a meal unless specifically asked . We don't do presents for anyone but children. It makes everything so much less stressful.

This was me the other year, so i made a note on my phone called .....xmas lessons learnt.
It was a list of dos & donts so only buy x amount of..... dont buy that again. Better budgets towards gifts. I also write a list of items i would love at different price brackets and share it if family ask....
That way money isnt wasted and i dont have to find homes or donate and its still a suprise. It works anyway.

I think being aware of it is a great starting point to be honest. So many people go crazy, plastic fantastic at Christmas with mountains of presents and food and all the rest of it and don't give a single shit. The very fact that you are depressed by it all does recognise that it's an issue and you can take steps to change.

Address it with relatives - we told MIL and SIL this year that we were not doing presents for adults. Yes we had less to open but DH and I are 50 and well past the getting giddy over Christmas stage. If you have kids, ask for experiences rather than stuff, over the years my kids have got tickets to the Edinburgh Dungeon, a pass to the Zoo, cinema vouchers, that sort of thing that can be used throughout the year and is not "stuff".

Make a note of what you have left over which cannot be frozen/stored and make a conscious decision to buy less of it next year. And obviously freeze and store what you can.

I do agree plenty of people go overboard with food, pretty gross really! But processed crap will keep for a while at least, we don't buy much but any left over that we don't want just use for parties in the coming months etc. Quite lucky with gifts as we only buy and recieve from people we are close to so don't get random stuff really, but chocolates and stuff usually regift during the year. Just draw boundaries for gifting and don't feel bad about it.

We have the same for any event. The ones I know are "problematic" 😁 sometimes got a list in a past. Like bbq.
"ok, bring brownies"
"ok, if you absolutely insist, 3 packs of halloumi"
😂

It's something you learn to manage over time.

The biggest mistake is to buy tons of stuff in the run up to Christmas, cramming your fridge and cupboards. Don't - just buy what you need as you normally would. Shops are only closed for one or two days at most, so you can buy as you go, usually very much cheaper after Christmas Day has passed.

The main problem here is all the packaging from the presents. I’ve got loads of plastic and cardboard all piled up at the back door ready to go out on bin day.

Food is not so bad. I cooked a bit less yesterday but we will eat all the leftovers anyway. We had one box of Heroes which we ate before Christmas. The dc had selection boxes but the chocolate inside is tiny so won’t hang around. We ate the mince pies and the party food we had Christmas Eve night.

Just had trifle for breakfast, a few days of random meals and all the excess food will be gone.

Agreed. One person's thoughtful present is another's unwanted tat. The best way round it is just to reduce the number given, scale the whole thing down. Decide in advance with people whether you're going to bother or not, or some families find a Secret Santa helpful.

I agree with this. Don't waste it, just eat it.

For brunch I've just had a plate of leftover Brussels with bacon, stuffing, cauliflower cheese and roasted carrots and parsnips.

Dh had some turkey and pigs in blankets, gravy and a crusty bread roll.
Later we will use up any leftover party food and call it dinner. We have duck spring rolls, pakora, onion rings, Mac and cheese bites.
Nothing will be wasted. Oh and we'll eating some of the chocolate treats after.

Repeat tomorrow until it's all used up.

We have a Tupperware full of the leftover cheeses and I'm going to make a big macaroni cheese at some point using that. Some of that will be portioned and frozen. Some of the cheese will still be used for crackers before that though, to use up the last of the crackers.

Alcohol keeps, as do soft drinks. The kids will drink the shloer because it's "fancy"🤣

We did no cards, no presents and just enough food and I had a really lovely time. Lovelier by the fact I dont have loads of unwanted stuff to find a place for!

Just stop the present buying it's easy.

This is what we are doing too. We'll just work our way steadily through the food, and freeze leftovers too. Not expecting to really bin any food.

Cold meat, pickles, left over stuffing, sauces and bubble and squeak for dinner today. Best meal over Christmas.

Take anything unopened to your local supermarket tomorrow, the bigger ones (not "local" or "express") all have food bank donation points. At least someone can benefit.

Anything already opened see if neighbours are interested or do you have family close by?

Or plan your meals / food around what you have left.

We usually eat the junk until its gone which usually coincides with NY.

And yes just stop the gift giving completely (or maybe just stick to children in the family)

.... Extra turkey and ham will be frozen for turkey and ham pies.

There doesn't have to be waste. We had Christmas Dinner on Christmas eve (we always do). All leftovers were eaten yesterday because we buy a standard chicken rather than a ginormous turkey. The amount of "treats" that have been bought is only what we know we will realistically eat. Gifts have been carefully chosen as something the receipitant wants. There is no waste here.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing. As a pp said upthread, some of us have been frugal and worked hard all year. So yes its nice to have a bit of a treat time and a few gifts we wouldn't have bought for ourselves.

Christmas seems to be yet another thing that people want to be all virtue signalling about. If you don't want to do presents or whatever, just don't. Personally I like them. I'm sorry you've had an awful year though and hope 2024 is better for you.

Nothing will be wasted here. DH eats sweets like his life depends on it, the only meat we had wasturkey and the last of that has gone into a soup (well there's some in the freezer stil , but this is the last of the fridge meat. There's loads of fresh veg still but I like to kickstart healthy easting stright after christmas since we start our festive over indulgence at the begining of december! I agree with others, waste isn't inevitable, it's fun to have a winter feast but it doesn't have to come with waste.

We dont all do it op.

I am a bit manic about good waste. Not just at Christmas but all year round.

the family this year did a secret Santa Di only one present to buy - to a strict budget and from a list - instead of 7.

We have a lot left but I’ve already frozen 2 boxes of minge pies, a packet of streaky bacon (use by 29th December) and half a cooked gammon. The shortbread, yule log, numerous chocolate gingerbread bits, stollen and 3 tubs of chocolates will gradually get used over the next few months bit by bit.
Plus, it’s only Boxing Day, I still have a week off work so we’ll have treats every day too.
The Christmas pudding is best before March 25 so we can use it next year if we don’t eat in this winter. There is a load of cheese too, but again all best before March 24.

Absolutely get it OP. We've got the same here from MIL, it's so frustrating. We do 1 main present in our family (both sides), everyone (bar MIL) has the same approach. We send lists/ links or pictures of what we would like, so I've got perfume and face cream from DH in a brand I use and like, nice soaps from BIL and SIL again in the brand i use and like, BIL has got an ash box for his fire - he needed a new one, SIL got smellies in the brand she likes, my mum chose slippers, my dad a book, DH got wood (for a project) from me and BIL, the kids all got toys they wanted from the participants of the 1 main present.

MIL as usual went completely overboard. Every year, we say 1 present. She has a £50 budget for each person and is absolutely determined to spend it. This year I went to York Xmas market with her in order to guide her for presents for me and SIL. SIL had said what she would like from the market and in what smells. I thought it was a successful trip as she had got us nice Gifty smellies and candle bits in scents we both like. She has picked something up for BIL and DH that they would be ok with. BIL and DH both wanted wood for various projects they have on and she said she had purchased that. All sorted so we thought. Yesterday she arrives with small gift bags with the things she got at the market, plus huge bags, absolutely full of tat that no-one asked for. Random smellies, socks, body sprays, bath bombs, chocolates, booze, slipper socks, random games from b&m. Random tat from temu for all the kids - half of it is not safe, temu clothes that are random sizes. She had disregarded the kids chosen toys and had just purchased £50 worths of stuff off temu so all the DC had huge mountains of stuff she bought in the temu "sale" that no-one asked for. We cant donate it as it's not really safe. The random adult gifts will all be donated to tombolas/ school fundraising events, food bank.

It's such a huge waste.